a little girl's rage

 
swirling in the energy
I succumb to my feelings
I am a little girl lost
 
abandoned at age three  
in a rage burning out of control
it's time I face that child inside of me
 
alone in the dark  
pressed tight to a wall
as police entered guns drawn
I realize now I never left that place
 
traumatized, that image is burned...  
forever in my mind
my mother left me
I need psychotherapy  
 
my hurt won't go away on it's own
with a heart that has plenty to say
and no one to say it to
it hurts too much
 
I numbed myself with every drug known
in the end, they all failed
my little girl burns with rage
she lets her voice be heard
I can't deny her presence
 
she is still running wild controlling me
with full on tantrums
she screams...
 
I shot her up with heroin
ingested meth
bound her up and threw her in the closet
hoping she would die
not understanding her life is mine
 
she is me
I am her