A Man in Need of a Plan

A Man in Need of a Plan - Limerick
 
There was a young lad named Bach
Who often tugged his cock
In a regal fashion  
He released his passion
But the pangs of remorse
Gave him cause to divorce
From his marriage to his hand
With fingers as wedding band
So to the priest the beans he spilt
In a graphic confession of guilt
And the robed man  
Offered him an ingenious plan
Keep a $100 bill to shred  
For each shame in bed
But the lad gave alms
For each date with his palms
To do penance for his sin  
Father turned roseate chagrin