Hiding Behind My Sister's Skirt     

Hiding Behind My Sister's Skirt                                  
                                     
     Though Natchez, Mississippi is my home, my ancestors migrated from the olive groves of Andalusia and the vineyards of Bordeaux to colonial New Orleans where they mated. So my disposition is lively like a fandango but at times slow moving like a Parisian Waltz.          
     I woo my sister. “Anna, you are a vision of divinity. You represent the embodiment of feminine beauty, a personification of the Goddess. You are forever and always my femme de la crème.”          
     “Ben, for Christ’s sake, I’m your sister! You’re making a play for me like I’m a vamp you met in a barroom.”          
     “No, your soul is too pure for a saloon. You belong barefoot in a wildflower meadow far from the pursuit of the almighty dollar. My adoration for you is born of brotherly love.”          
     “Oh Ben, you’re making me blush. Stop it.”          
     “I shall try to stay my tongue. Yet your inner light cannot be resisted.”          
     “Ben, when you talk like that I feel like a          
precious gem. Yet I long to be ordinary.”          
     “Anna, you are an Aphrodite incarnate who enchants mere mortals.”          
     “Ben, you’re practicing your lines on me. I can teach you how to pick up women. But certain rules must be observed which means no female guests overnight. Your monkey business must take place while Dad is at work. The springs in your mattress make a racket. So you can use my bed when you bring her over. I will tidy things up when you’re finished. You need to have her here while mother is away which is when she goes out shopping on Friday mornings. You needn’t worry, she is very punctual. Just wrap things up within an hour.”          
     I exclaim, “Heavens to Betsy!”          
     “Ben, whenever Mom’s church friend brings her daughter, Caroline, over to visit you act like the young woman might hex you. I think the reason you flirt with me is that you’re lonely but are afraid to meet women who are eligible prospects. When the aforesaid young lady makes a social call you hide behind my skirt like a timid schoolboy.”          
     “No, it is because you have the charm and wit of a socialite from Paris, whereas Caroline while fetching, lacks your sophistication and urbanity. One day perhaps I’ll meet a woman as elegant as you. Until then take my flirtations as practice for meeting the right woman.”          
     “Your compliments melt me. Courtship is a lost art from a more genteel age. Hold my hand and I will teach you.”          
      Anna goes on a date with Mom’s midnight curfew looming. I feel pangs of jealousy. Finally, she darkens the door. “Ben, I’ve returned. I didn’t cavort in opium dens or even get drunk. I was the pure virginal girl Mama raised me to be.”        
     “Good to know staying up for you proved as pointless as holing up in San Juan Capistrano for a year to be sure the swallows return.”          
     “Ben, did you get any sleep?”        
     “I’ll sleep well enough in the sweet bye and bye.”          
     “I wish you’d been there to chaperone me.”        
     “Oh no Anna, please tell me you didn’t let him sleep with you.”        
     “Of course I didn’t my brother. However, he did kiss me. It felt strange. I was bathing in his kisses until I pushed him away. Such a peculiar feeling came over me. I felt beside myself with joy and fear.”        
     “What were you afraid of?”          
     “I was afraid he might take it further without my consent. It felt like a part of me died. The magic of my child being was gone forever. I wasn’t protected anymore. My emotions were laid bare.”        
     “Anna, you have blossomed into womanhood. But promise your brother that you’ll take things slow. There is still so much fragile about you.”        
     “Ben, you’ve always been there to save me but I saved you too. I remember your twenty-first birthday. You said you were going to drink two bottles of hootch or die while trying. So I stalked you all the way to the Crazy Horse Bar down under the hill. I hovered outside like a policewoman on a stakeout ready to haul you into the drunk tank. You swaggered in like a gunslinger whose only pistol is the one between his legs.”        
     “I couldn’t afford the high-grade liquor but figured the cheap stuff would do the job.”          
     “You staggered out like a zombie with one foot in the grave. When you collapsed on the street I wasn’t sure if you were having a heart attack or just stone cold drunk. So I gave you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.”          
     “You breathed life into my frail and dying body. Your exhalation was like a spring breeze.”          
     “Wish I could say your breath was fresh. Those whiskey fumes nearly knocked me out. Even most wives couldn’t withstand that for their very own husband.”          
     “I faced the grim reaper straight in the eyes. I felt so near death I could feel the coldness spread through my heart and limbs. Then, I felt your hands rub my face as warmth returned.”          
     “Someday, you’ll meet a woman who will warm you in ways I can’t.”        
     “Celibacy comes naturally as it did for Adam and Eve before the fall in our Garden of love.”        
     “Me, be chaste? Remember Grandma Irma had six children. Having kids is as much a family tradition as singing Yuletide carols for Christmas. I was born to make babies. It is in my blood” she breaks to me.  
     I say, “My future wife must have your poise and grace.”  
    “When you and your missus need some couple’s time without the kids bring them over to my place and I’ll babysit them. Your kids and mine will have a ball making fudge together.”  
     “Where would I be without you?”          
    “Ben, aren’t there any women at the department store where you work?”        
      “Most of the sales staff are women.”          
     “Are any of those ladies as pretty as me?”          
    “You are a pink flamingo among mallards.”          
     “You are a peacock among geese. But I bet you’re their heartthrob. You’ve got manly charisma. If you weren’t my brother I’d marry you.”  
     “Anna, what did I do to earn such affection from my very own sister?”          
     “You make me feel like the woman I could become.” She kisses me on the cheek.