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Will you go to prom [with me]?

When I was younger, I would dream
Of what it would be like
To go to the school prom
Flowing dresses, glide across the floor
To be bedazzled
To dance away the night.
I would see pictures of those who went before me,
Surrounded by friends, happy as could be.
Smiles beaming from every face
Not a worry in the world, a carefree place.
I never saw pictures of someone alone
And I'd think to myself, it must be a magical night.
Where no one was excluded,
No one cast aside,
Everyone was friendly,
Walking hand in hand, and stride by stride.
I would tell myself how great it will be when I finally get to go
Never thinking things might go wrong.
Dreaming of being asked, "Want to go to prom?"

A few years later, my time has come
I can go to the school dance, with my friends and classmates
I can allow myself to feel beautiful, like I can fit in with the rest
If only for one night.

The day has come, the day of the dance
I have a beautiful outfit to wear tonight.
I'm giddy with excitement, now it's time to change!

I'm wearing my suit,
I feel beautiful,
I feel strong,
I can face the world, and fit right in,
Be included,
Let the fun begin!

I arrive at the school, and look around,
Everyone looks like royalty,
Suits with ties, and blooming ball gowns.
I enter the building to a more extravagant sight,
Streamers are strung, and the glitter shines bright.

I get a bit nervous,
But that is natural I'd say.
Walking up to a group, I wave and say hi,
Expecting a warm welcome, but that wasn't what came.
The stares I received, from my fellow peers
Disgust - Surprise - Annoyance - Hate.
I recoiled in fear,
In confusion.
Unsure what to say I walked away.
Alone, In a sea of smiles
Uninvited
Unwanted.
This is not what I expected,
Things didn't go as planned,
The night was now ruined,
I felt I couldn't stand.

I left the dance, and went outside
It was cold and unwelcoming without someone there.
I began to cry,
I felt like I had lived a lie.
I had hoped for a lie,
Believed in a lie,
Dreamed of a lie,
And expected a lie.
Instead I got the truth,
Cold, harsh reality,
Prom wasn't a magical night,
People won't accept you, if you haven't already been accepted.
Prom was for the students who already had themselves a name,
Who already knew people,
Who were accepted by people,
Who were the people.
Not for someone like me,
I should have known,
Luxury is an illusion,
Out of reach for those unknown,
Out of reach of me,
I wish I had known.

Tears stream down my face,
And I realize no one had, or will ever ask me,
"Will you go to prom?"

Written by NightingaleTears

Published 21st May 2018

Author's Note

If only this story were also a lie.

#dark #depression #fate #hope #SelfReflection

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