She.

beautiful Jesta!

thanks GB, they were notes taken while i was on a ferry. glad you liked it! the light here, amazing. [:

has to be my favorite line. five words that speak volumes.
i like this one.  
cant say i am crazy about the change in title.  
She, i thought held a better kind of mystique and worked well in relation to the language you used throughout.i understand that it might resonate better with your own thinking while writing this.  
and 'to be alone', rather than solitude.  
this line, 'the rumble and crash away' only  because of the way the two previous lines lead in maybe 'then' instead of 'the' or leave the two previous as a couplet. ( does that make sense?)  
that said this is quite the masterpiece and  brings to life the image of the sea and it's waves lapping and crashing.  
great stuff, Jesta!  
    
  

good god, thank you, Eamonn; i copy/pasted this from the notepad and forgot that i had edited it in the photo program. forgot to make it 'solitude' and fix the 'rumble and crash' line. *sigh* this one was hasty too. must get my head clear before i post next time. thanks again. [:

and thank you for the first list add. 'tis an honor. [:

Check you out! Last stanza, a pitch perfect delight - I like the edits but I liked 'being alone' or however you put it! :D Oh, as always J, blooming jolly show!

Toodle pip! :P

haha! you do know how to jolly well cheer me up, my dear! and what-ho and all that as well, dontchyaknow. :D

lovely as always! Lurve it so much, especially the last verse, a delightful read indeed. x

thank you much, madame! it's another oldie polished up with some stickers on. you guys keep me trying. [:

Jestalessa,

Very much enjoyed the read on this one. Lot of good mental imagery in this one. Loved your line:
"I wanted solitude    
to be neck deep in my self"

Thanks for sharing,
tornado    

you picked a line i'm thinking seriously about tweaking! but i suppose it won't be too thrown off if i do anyway. thank you muchly for the read and comment. [:

... seems like you caught the briny on a calmy, balmy day - but what's more important is that you captured the essence of it perfectly.
Best ~ Abra

do you know...that comment means more than many a list entry. thank you. [:

I love your opening strophe!

With your title, SHE, and the way you wrote strophes 1 and 2 , the introduction of the 'I' in S3 really threw me off.

thank you! maybe i could change that just a bit...if i can do it with total coolness and panache, i will certainly try to make more surprise of it at the end. [:

edit: or less of a surprise rather... :D

....best I do the same. Enjoyed watching you edit this and move it around to get it how you needed it. The result is a pretty piece, an honest riff on wave-watching and where it takes us some days...gotta love them wee sea-writes :-)


H.

and i should thank you for the catching of a few of those slippery typos (as i imagine 're[t]ching' brings a much different element to a poem than 'reaching'). [:

your good word makes my head a little larger than normal for at least 20 minutes, so it was thoughtful of you to lend the hat. i tip it in respect. [:

'Tis GORGEOUS, you little minx!!!!

hey you know how it is.

(and of course, by that i mean thank you.)  ;D

Hey Jes. Having been drawn in by your intriguing title, this poem genuinely stopped me in my tracks with the hugely powerful imagery and conceit of the opening stanza. I see you've had LOTS of comment and suggestion here and I don't want to jump on any bandwagons. But I have to say I think the title is hugely important to the poem as straight from the get-go the reader understands we're not just talking about a pastoral here.
I also have to say that the line about endorphins felt a little clinical in this environment. Would you consider working up a little invented adjective like 'endorphin wind' to maintain the sense of mystery here?
None of which is to detract from a piece of work that confirms you as a very serious and talented poet in my eyes. Bravo!   redTbird

i certainly would consider it, thank you! i always welcome honest critique, so it is much appreciated, your taking the time to read and give it an honest review. now, i'll see what i can do about that line. [:

thank you for your kind words, DM, but what you see here is the result of many, many an edit. it takes me a lot more thought than it might take you to make something worth reading! thanks again for the encouragement. [:  
-Jes

I felt the waves through it and it reminds me of the lake near my house on a sleepy Sunday afternoon. You capture the essence beautifully- well worth the edits!

so glad you could connect to this. BA... i got all warm 'n fuzzy from just seeing it all from the water instead of land...doesn't happen so often for me these days. thank you! [:

You hold complete grace here, it sweeps like a dream. An entirely good write.

thank you so much! i'm looking forward to reading you as well. [:

welcome to DU. [:

This one reminds me of She Walks in Beauty By Lord Byron. I read it when I was a student and it still echoes around me. This one too will.

thank you, Anando... it's something for me to have one of my writes even mentioned in the same sentence as one of the greats. [:

That last stanza was the coup de gras.  Excellence in execution.  Have you been fitted for your crown yet?

ah, PTM... i'm so glad you liked it. [:  
 
you make me grin. :D

Utterly nostalgic. A quiet riot. Mercurial, melancholic. You are a poet of great promise. Never cease, never stop for a comma. Bleed.:)

happy you enjoyed it, and i will certainly try. [:

Please do.:)

that last stanza was incredible. and your understanding of how to describe nature, causing me to picture something familiar but sensing it in a new way . . . i love it.

well, i conider that result an accomplishment, as the feeling you describe is one i've often felt from others' work. thank you [:

I've read a few of your peoms now and I have to say you are a master at the art

not yet, but i'm hoping to get there one day. thanks for taking the time to comment. [:

i really enjoy your work. would love you to check mine out and see what you think. this site is great for real poets to connect with each other.  

cheers from santa monica, california!

glad you enjoyed it, and i'll have a browse. thanks for stopping in. [:

"to touch and melt into someone I had already been"..FOR SOME REASON THOSE WORDS WILL STAY WITH ME FOR SOME TIME..

yes, that's the heart of this one for me. thank you. [:

Praise be to your wonderful words, it cheered me up today . . . Thanks :)
Peace, Wbug                    

well thank you, stranger, sometimes rough days need to give us space for reflections... and reconsiderations. [: peace.

Wow, this melted me! I absolutely love it, really quite haunting too!

thank you so much, glad you enjoyed it. [:

Great feeling of the self!

why, thank you. [:

So perfectly executed! Bravo!