I want out

It burns like no other
yet there's no loving another
I was told to stay away by mother
it had me beat by my brother
all the picking and scratching
drawings strung from window to window
my mistake was the drinking
the cocaine
the amphetamines
the ecstacy
the dope
I wanted to change
because I had found my hope
but from my demons beckoning
and doing my bidding
I was still sitting
On all the dope I was quitting
so I busted into the bags
and used everything I had
just to leave it behind
I am still just thinking
and even though it ruined me
I am still just drinking
I let it ruin my life
one relationship at a time
so I tear myself down
and the sorrows will drown
what does she think of me now?
I say I dont care
I say I dont cry
I don't ever share
and I only seem to lie
straight through my teeth
I dont really care about a belief
I just want to get clean
I need a way out
there's no time to play
no more mocking about