What Is My Mind

I’m a high-tide,
Crashing and flooding the lives of those around me with seaweed and empty bottles,
I crave love but also chase it away with every breath,
And those breaths sometimes feel like trying to push against a locked door,
It’s as if my body knows to what to do but my mind says stop and those waves don’t stop,

The current pulls me farther and farther back with every step I try to take,
I try to come up for air but am only met with criticism from the waves for not fucking trying hard enough,
I try, I try, I try but only when I die will I find air