deepundergroundpoetry.com
An Attempted Cover-Up
I spread my envy thinly
like scraped marmite on midnight toast
hoping to disguise its presence.
Naturally I fail, and it oozes out
dropping at the feet of vastly superior poets …
Auden, Eliot, Frost, Keats, Poe, Wordsworth
and that’s just the men —
Dickinson, Plath, Oliver, Hirschfield, Fulton, Anon
women who shred patriarchy for breakfast.
The kettle boils. I grab it tightly
pour scalding water roughly into the teapot
splashing surplus on my granite top
Whilst the tea brews I test the joints in my sore elbows
and consider digging them into the ribs
of a random passer-by. The YogiTea® concoction
I tip out into my chipped cup
promises to alleviate envy
and soothe the mind of jealousy -
I sip it slowly and decide eventually
to adjust my heart to a different frequency.
like scraped marmite on midnight toast
hoping to disguise its presence.
Naturally I fail, and it oozes out
dropping at the feet of vastly superior poets …
Auden, Eliot, Frost, Keats, Poe, Wordsworth
and that’s just the men —
Dickinson, Plath, Oliver, Hirschfield, Fulton, Anon
women who shred patriarchy for breakfast.
The kettle boils. I grab it tightly
pour scalding water roughly into the teapot
splashing surplus on my granite top
Whilst the tea brews I test the joints in my sore elbows
and consider digging them into the ribs
of a random passer-by. The YogiTea® concoction
I tip out into my chipped cup
promises to alleviate envy
and soothe the mind of jealousy -
I sip it slowly and decide eventually
to adjust my heart to a different frequency.
Published 3rd May 2017
| Edited 7th Mar 2024
Author's Note
(photo credit: chris-lawton-dStr9uDarqc-unsplash)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 0
comments 20
reads 925
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
3rd May 2017 8:06pm
Take heart in knowing that someone envies your pen as well. Everyone looks up to and admires someone. Much enjoyed
Hi Ash, thank you for your wise and apt comment. I love reading great poets, and naturally find them inspiring but some are just so gobsmacking it leaves me wondering 'how do they do it?'
Of course, wonder is not a bad place to start, and probably they do it after a lot of dedicated blood, sweat and tears. (And now back to my desk ...)
Of course, wonder is not a bad place to start, and probably they do it after a lot of dedicated blood, sweat and tears. (And now back to my desk ...)
3rd May 2017 9:02pm
Oh wow!
I thoroughly enjoyed the raw truth in this. It's got such a wonderful self realisation aspect.
Bravo on this one. Written perfectly.
I thoroughly enjoyed the raw truth in this. It's got such a wonderful self realisation aspect.
Bravo on this one. Written perfectly.
3rd May 2017 9:47pm
Hello RevolutionAL, thank you for the complement; I'm glad you enjoyed it. I think partly it was the process of coming back down to earth after the intense NaPoWriMo month. (... and congrats on completing NaPo too).
3rd May 2017 10:07pm
3rd May 2017 10:18pm
3rd May 2017 10:12pm
3rd May 2017 10:20pm
Anonymous
3rd May 2017 10:48pm
Your first few lines pulled me in and made me want to see what came next. Very nice imagery there, and I particularly like the use of "midnight toast" in creating it. I like the way you've played with sound, there's a nice flow of assonance throughout. It may be a little heavy on the -y at the end, but I'm still playing that over in my head, a bit undecided.
I really enjoyed this, the shared frustration of wanting to be as good as those you admire and knowing that you will never be, not in your own mind. The story that it writes for me is of a poet who has been working on a piece, dissatisfied and grumpy with the attempt, soothing his discontent, perhaps some bruised ego, with time and a cup of tea. Perhaps I should try tea next time, instead of throwing things. :-)
I really enjoyed this, the shared frustration of wanting to be as good as those you admire and knowing that you will never be, not in your own mind. The story that it writes for me is of a poet who has been working on a piece, dissatisfied and grumpy with the attempt, soothing his discontent, perhaps some bruised ego, with time and a cup of tea. Perhaps I should try tea next time, instead of throwing things. :-)
4th May 2017 11:20am
Hello Mariekeys, thank you for reading and taking time to make some detailed feed-back. I think ideally at the end (after the envy-jealousy-eventually line ends) the last word should not be a 'y'-ending word in order to emphasis the changed 'frequency'; I though of 'vibe' but it sounded weak. I'll keep on mulling it over. Thank you again.
4th May 2017 00:56am
I can relate to this very much .. sometimes I am overwhelmed by how others write, and I wonder where, how they find the words, so beautiful .. makes me wonder if I should just lay down my pen ... but then they inspire me as well ..
4th May 2017 11:25am
Oh no, don't lay down your pen Jemac, because I'm inspired by your writing, and especially the Haikus. I consider self-expression to be a creature with its own desires to 'make a life' and be heard - it requires us to continue writing to gift it with life.
4th May 2017 2:50am
4th May 2017 11:27am
Thank you Ahavati - your comment nailed it too; no point looking over our shoulders at others or trying to copy - but just work on ourselves and develop our own authentic expression. :)
4th May 2017 11:25am
Josh, I find your words brilliant. While it may seem envious at times, appreciation of the greats does not necessarily need to equal jealousy. You are a wonderful poet in your own rite...I truly admire. Thank you for sharing your words and wisdom.
Hi Mel, thank you for your support and confidence in my 'poeticality'.
"appreciation of the greats does not necessarily need to equal jealousy." ... ... you're absolutely right of course. They are two different things and one does not of necessity need to lead to the other. Thanks again for taking the time to comment.
"appreciation of the greats does not necessarily need to equal jealousy." ... ... you're absolutely right of course. They are two different things and one does not of necessity need to lead to the other. Thanks again for taking the time to comment.
Anonymous
4th May 2017 12:34pm
Everyone writes their fair share of stinkers.
That's true; I'm still working my way through the juvenilia phase - which is fine; the promise of greatness is yet to come. Despite the occasional 'bad hair' day I remain upbeat and looking forward to it. :)
5th May 2017 6:20pm
there is nothing wrong with self deprecation, in fact without it as a writer you become a pompous blowhard. However you can't allow it to stop you from writing, this would apply to almost all poets in DU. I find in general your poetry makes me think and inspires me to write, that's how good you are :-)
this poem is perfect evidence for you as a poet rather than being a poet of times gone past - I for one like that best :-)
this poem is perfect evidence for you as a poet rather than being a poet of times gone past - I for one like that best :-)
5th May 2017 9:58pm
Hi David, I really appreciate your comments. It's given me a boost at the end of a week when I've had to deal with difficult stuff that I didn't want to face. Very much appreciated.
