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deepundergroundpoetry.com
last call
Fucking me,
I am bent over a ripped vinyl bar stool
Paralyzed,
funny what just one drink does.
My raggedy ann limp doll face
frozen, drooling on a coaster
obsessing about the fucking rubber
you're not wearing while
you fuck me
without my permission.
not sexy,
not sensual,
just my skirt shoved up, ripped
panties
pushed aside like an afterthought.
I'm wondering what I'm going to win
in the sweepstakes
of sex diseases.
grateful for the fucking green pill
the faithful way I take it -- 3:00
no chance of your offspring
getting vacuum sucked out of me.
you grunt like a fucking pig behind me
pushing me to the piss-stink floor
sweating stale beer on my face
can't even move my thumb- it's bent
trapped under my thigh
but at least it takes my mind off
you jamming your
limpy soft fat man cock
into me like
bread dough in a coin return
terrified and relieved
when I realize
the grunting intensified
you're going to cum and
I don't know if you'll just leave me here
or fucking kill me
I feel terror rise
but no goosebumps
I'm a living corpse already
gingivitis, no toothbrush, bad breath
forced into my face as you groan you're cumming
and this is it-fight or flight and I can't move
can't even move my thumb so it doesn't get crushed
you're moving my skirt down as you get off me
and I don't know if this is
good
bad
or the fucking end of me
but you walk over to the light
turn it off
click
lock the door
lock the bar
and I will live
but I will watch my own
open beer bottle
next time I make
last call
I am bent over a ripped vinyl bar stool
Paralyzed,
funny what just one drink does.
My raggedy ann limp doll face
frozen, drooling on a coaster
obsessing about the fucking rubber
you're not wearing while
you fuck me
without my permission.
not sexy,
not sensual,
just my skirt shoved up, ripped
panties
pushed aside like an afterthought.
I'm wondering what I'm going to win
in the sweepstakes
of sex diseases.
grateful for the fucking green pill
the faithful way I take it -- 3:00
no chance of your offspring
getting vacuum sucked out of me.
you grunt like a fucking pig behind me
pushing me to the piss-stink floor
sweating stale beer on my face
can't even move my thumb- it's bent
trapped under my thigh
but at least it takes my mind off
you jamming your
limpy soft fat man cock
into me like
bread dough in a coin return
terrified and relieved
when I realize
the grunting intensified
you're going to cum and
I don't know if you'll just leave me here
or fucking kill me
I feel terror rise
but no goosebumps
I'm a living corpse already
gingivitis, no toothbrush, bad breath
forced into my face as you groan you're cumming
and this is it-fight or flight and I can't move
can't even move my thumb so it doesn't get crushed
you're moving my skirt down as you get off me
and I don't know if this is
good
bad
or the fucking end of me
but you walk over to the light
turn it off
click
lock the door
lock the bar
and I will live
but I will watch my own
open beer bottle
next time I make
last call
Published 23rd Aug 2011
| Edited 25th Aug 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 18
reads 1709
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Aug 2011 9:17pm
Well written. What's with this site and the rape fantasy? Seems like it's either the rape fantasy or some form of cannibalism.
23rd Aug 2011 11:41pm
Thank you. It's not a rape fantasy; I use poetry as my favorite therapist sometimes. I'm just dealing with something and this is how I do it.
Anonymous
24th Aug 2011 3:27am
really well written
you spare no words of description
however foul they are
this is very brave
you spare no words of description
however foul they are
this is very brave
25th Aug 2011 1:25am
24th Aug 2011 6:51am
...and a burning read.
The start hits good and hard. This line "gingivitis bad breath no tooth brush breath" needs lovem as it reads rough...
The ending left me a little confused, but I assume you are refering to a drug being added to the drink? Maybe slip a less crytic reference in to help the reader get it.
Pretty damn tight write this, and burns down the page very nicely. Well done.
H.
The start hits good and hard. This line "gingivitis bad breath no tooth brush breath" needs lovem as it reads rough...
The ending left me a little confused, but I assume you are refering to a drug being added to the drink? Maybe slip a less crytic reference in to help the reader get it.
Pretty damn tight write this, and burns down the page very nicely. Well done.
H.
25th Aug 2011 1:23am
Thank you. I'll take a look at the line-- it does refer to something slipped in the drink.
24th Aug 2011 4:01pm
25th Aug 2011 1:27am
31st Aug 2011 5:05am
One bad night for this person.But the meaning is strong felt.Your point definetly got through to me one way or the other.
31st Aug 2011 5:14am
1st Sep 2011 7:53pm
this is event not sexual act but an act of control force drugging your victim, there is no passion or lust here just evil at work. this was not a sexual desire or act nothing more than going to the toilet in you. and this should never be confused with passion or lustful feelings of pleasure.
sorry im more outragged by the comment than the writting
a well written and detailed poem (account) which has got people thinking that read it, as a poet who writes about lust passion and love it was for me a difficult read but one i had to read. thank you
sorry im more outragged by the comment than the writting
a well written and detailed poem (account) which has got people thinking that read it, as a poet who writes about lust passion and love it was for me a difficult read but one i had to read. thank you
1st Sep 2011 11:02pm
Thank you; you see the same thing I did in this.
This was not intended to be a fantasy. This was really meant to show the evil, aggressive, disrespectful act for what it is. There is no references to lust, passion-- it's all pain and terror. It's meant to be difficult.
I'm glad I evoked this response out of you. I meant to cause outrage with this.
This was not intended to be a fantasy. This was really meant to show the evil, aggressive, disrespectful act for what it is. There is no references to lust, passion-- it's all pain and terror. It's meant to be difficult.
I'm glad I evoked this response out of you. I meant to cause outrage with this.
4th Sep 2011 1:08am
He stands corrected? Some people just spout off at the mouth like they can say no wrong, much like drunks in bars. Rather than stand corrected, get down on your knees and beg forgiveness for your lack of sensitivity.
Sorry, I just can't stand the arrogance of my breed. And a John Valby wannabe at that...
This poem is moving and frightening. There's no way I can say that it is well written. It is expressed in words that reflect on a terrible event. It is indeed brave of you to put this out there and hopefully to purge some of the pain you still carry.
Sorry, I just can't stand the arrogance of my breed. And a John Valby wannabe at that...
This poem is moving and frightening. There's no way I can say that it is well written. It is expressed in words that reflect on a terrible event. It is indeed brave of you to put this out there and hopefully to purge some of the pain you still carry.
thank you.
There is rape fantasy poetry out there; this isn't it, though.
It's meant to be disturbing; to outrage, to leave the reader knowing exactly what it's like to go through something like this.
The fact is that 1 in 4 women will have something exactly like this happen to them-- 1 in 4 of our mothers, our sisters,.. our wives will tell a similar tale.
The fucked up thing is that, a good share of the time, we won't believe them.
There is rape fantasy poetry out there; this isn't it, though.
It's meant to be disturbing; to outrage, to leave the reader knowing exactly what it's like to go through something like this.
The fact is that 1 in 4 women will have something exactly like this happen to them-- 1 in 4 of our mothers, our sisters,.. our wives will tell a similar tale.
The fucked up thing is that, a good share of the time, we won't believe them.
7th Sep 2011 5:53pm
A catharsis for you? Therapy? Yes I can see that but this is very rough in a very descriptive way. As a father of a young adult daughter who likes to party a bit more than I like, the possibilities presented cause me to cringe (for lack of a better term) Good writing always evokes a reaction......
........this is good writing.
........this is good writing.
7th Sep 2011 7:42pm
Thank you.
I do use writing as therapy. The roughness in this was to really convey that this isn't sex; I didn't intend this to be in any way really erotic or arousing. I wanted it to be sickening.
It really is a scary world out there. I have a daughter as well and besides common sense and a good foundation, their fate is in their own hands. Forget skydiving; parenting is a terrifying job.
I do use writing as therapy. The roughness in this was to really convey that this isn't sex; I didn't intend this to be in any way really erotic or arousing. I wanted it to be sickening.
It really is a scary world out there. I have a daughter as well and besides common sense and a good foundation, their fate is in their own hands. Forget skydiving; parenting is a terrifying job.
7th Sep 2011 7:52pm
What a harsh experience to imagine..though it happens all too often..you have described a harrowing experience..in a powerful way..this poem will stick with me..brilliant..peace Crim
7th Sep 2011 8:02pm
Thank you. It does happen way too often and half the time we don't even believe the victim or we think it's her fault. Thank you for the read.
