Old habits die hard

I don't even n ow how to start to put this in words
It's been so long since ive even thought about writing.
Wait no I take that back I think about it every day
My life is shit right now
I've been living in a 12x32 house with no power and no water hooked up to my house.
Have you ever lived with out power for 6 months
It's not easy
So to spare time I started doing more physical things
Old habits die hard
I've been riding horses
I've been walking a lot
Drawing
Painting
But most of my habits are very good.
I've started smoking again
Anything I can get my hands on
I've started sleeping around (not recently tho I've met someone but that's for another write)
I started acting up
I forgot who I was
I was not the simple girl that I used to be
Moving changes you
I don't do well with change
It's been hard (hints the smokin to relax)
Meeting new ppl (hints sex I would sleep with anyone I met even sometimes the same day I met them)
I've been shutting everyone out (my biggest flaw I can't trust anyone anymore)
I'm just tired...
But I can't sleep
The nightmares are back
And they are worse than ever
I thought I was getting rid of them
I had help sleeping
I haven't had bad dreams in weeks
But then it happened again
This time worse than ever before.
This one was very powerful
Old habits die hard so I think I'm coming back to write more.
Y'all used to help me cope with my issues
I need y'all again