deepundergroundpoetry.com
After Paradise
In the garden which I roam
full of trees and flowers grown
live a multitude of creatures
all unique with splendid features
rivers that twist and entwine
a web that changes over time
As my needs have changed
this garden must be rearranged
for trees I need the wood
rivers have a tendency to flood
all these creatures roaming free
eat the food that’s meant for me
My castle it now stands
vast sways of concrete are my lands
plastic flowers I can’t eat
factories reproducing meat
once I had it all
after paradise I fall
By Danny Carr
full of trees and flowers grown
live a multitude of creatures
all unique with splendid features
rivers that twist and entwine
a web that changes over time
As my needs have changed
this garden must be rearranged
for trees I need the wood
rivers have a tendency to flood
all these creatures roaming free
eat the food that’s meant for me
My castle it now stands
vast sways of concrete are my lands
plastic flowers I can’t eat
factories reproducing meat
once I had it all
after paradise I fall
By Danny Carr
Published 16th Jan 2017
| Edited 30th Apr 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
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comments 4
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16th Jan 2017 8:26pm
I do really like the first stanza but I think you lose the rhythm a little later on
16th Jan 2017 8:55pm
Humans are the most destructive creatures in existence. We will one day, have accomplished making all animals extinct. It is inevitable. It is disgusting. good writing
24th Jan 2017 5:06pm
Maybe it's just me...but I took this ink more figuratively then literally....not being so much literally about is being destructive to our earth and animals....but more so your own path in life? And the nature and creatures you speak of are more so the people and challenges faced on your every day paths and routines...and it's time to filter and rearrange life to detour this destructing path.....but then again maybe I read to deep...or it's your subconscious speaking. Either way...great ink!
24th Jan 2017 5:39pm
ye i try leave my poems as ambiguous as possibe, often they are about more than one thing, trying to link philosophy and reality or religion and science. cheers for the comments
