deepundergroundpoetry.com
train from midnight
‘if your gonna treat me like a whore,
you better have what it takes to satisfy a whore.’
she looked me in the eye & told me that straight out,
made me think twice about crawling into an affair with her.
made me re-examine my qualifications.
the night I found her in a seedy bar, I could see the lonely written
on her like a fancy tattoo. that’s what gets me every time, more
than the suspicion in her eyes or the sway in her foxtrot.
I sell out for loneliness.
we stayed close after that. coffee & pie in a café where the only
music was the moody whistle of the midnight train that we were
never on. she’d spend the night at my place if it was too late to
driver her home.
the whole episode coulda been shot in black&white with the right
characters. but Bogart never worked on a case, or a pint of bourbon,
with Gene Tierney.
once I told her it might’ve been different for her if she waited for
some other man that night.; fancy dinners & nightclubs. ‘I wasn’t
waiting for a man,’ she said. ‘I was waiting for you.’ maybe I shoulda
been insulted, but I suppose, inside me, I knew what she meant.
if I ever had a ticket on that midnight train, I sold it for her heart. she
showed me her unique perspective on love, & on sex. things I wouldn’t
have figured out on my own. & she taught me some things: how a
woman doesn’t have to paint herself pretty if everyone figures she’s
a whore anyway.
how a man can be a whore, too…
(Art: Xan Stark)
Published 2nd Dec 2016
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likes 10
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Dec 2016 9:27am
Ah yes, there's that fantastic noir ambiance that you do so well.
Coupled with the perfect artwork, a seedy bar, and that distant midnight train;
Not a dry eye in the house, John.
Exceptional, as always...
Coupled with the perfect artwork, a seedy bar, and that distant midnight train;
Not a dry eye in the house, John.
Exceptional, as always...
2nd Dec 2016 1:58pm
3rd Dec 2016 1:26am
This is really insightful throughout but especially that first line.... It's very readable too...
3rd Dec 2016 1:55am
Beautiful words as always, John. The spell of noir all over. And I'm sure she learned a thing or two from you as well...
(I love Gene Tierney, so I have to look her and Bogart up. Sad that there are no black and white cases, but there's a priest, a nurse, and China, in the Left Hand of God. :) )
(I love Gene Tierney, so I have to look her and Bogart up. Sad that there are no black and white cases, but there's a priest, a nurse, and China, in the Left Hand of God. :) )
3rd Dec 2016 3:38am
Just another amazing write JohnFeddeler ... I could hear the camera rolling ... and see the lights flickering as the black and white film told your story ... beautiful
3rd Dec 2016 3:12pm
Boom - the reflection clears and we see yourself in another's eyes, described by their actions.
Your work always drops like a penny in the well of thoughtful contemplation, John.
Your work always drops like a penny in the well of thoughtful contemplation, John.
3rd Dec 2016 10:27pm
More a woman of experience than a whore. Her wisdom might make her the loneliest woman in the room, but there you are, willing to listen and buy a few rounds. Fine work at high midnight.
5th Dec 2016 8:41am
"How a woman doesn't have to paint herself pretty if everyone figures she's a whore anyway"
Some fine writing as ever John
Some fine writing as ever John
