deepundergroundpoetry.com
Still Waters.....Raging
“.....Swing down
sweet chariot stop and
let me ride “
I want to play
with ur love
this nasty, freaky thang,
causing a fever
to run
like heroin
through your veins
….the seduction,
a synaptic interruptus
causing your body to seize
as my masculine wiles
seek to please
Sexual Healing
...fingertips
tangled in your soft hair
tongues twisted
french kisses
bothering not to
“cum” up for air
caught up in
the drones of
deep moans
my hands caress
your neck....
….your body trembles
and I feel your hips collapse
and push your body
into mine,
right there-and back
tempestuous flurries,
void of all inhibition
no clothing
…..anywhere
lips trace tantric lines
down her chest
sucking her nipples
squeezing her breast
her fingers raking a path
down my spine
as our bodies
hump and grind
I thrust my hips forward
while she's boldly gripping
my behind
…..gnawin' on it; playing with it
my heavy throb,
bobbing up and down
with each and every pulse racing
slippin' my raging meat
between her
soaking, wet thighs
my arms tight around her waist
the sweet scent of our sex
tantalizin' friction burning
as I pump my hardness
in and out
between her legs,
her body shudders.....
“....the sound of my body crashing down onto yours
Hands smacking my ass…echoing behind closed doors
...the base of the bed sliding back and forth across the floor
Gripping you tighter as neighbors bang on walls and yell at the door
... from my ever flowing passion coating your raw desire
The sound of you enjoying my love…adding flame to the fire ” (excerpt from Lyrical Temptation's "Sounds of Making Love")
I want to play with it..........
Published 1st Sep 2016
| Edited 12th Sep 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 853
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Sep 2016 1:51am
Thank you Lyrical_Temptation for allowing me to quote that amazing excerpt from your poem dear : )
2nd Sep 2016 4:17am
2nd Sep 2016 3:43am
The phrasing together with the content and the imagery you sketch, make this a very steamy piece of ink... thoroughly enjoyed!
3rd Sep 2016 00:30am
Anonymous
5th Sep 2016 10:06am
There's a nice flow to this, and I like the overall feeling. However, there are some things that I found a little distracting. In your opening, you use 'ur' but throughout the rest of the piece it's all 'your', so I'm not sure what the purpose of 'ur' is.
After '.....anywhere' you change from 'you' and 'your' to 'her'. Is this the addition of a third person to your scenario?
The last two paragraphs before the quote are a little repetitive: "slippin' my raging meat/between her/soaking, wet thighs" and "as I pump my hardness/in and out/between her legs" is essentially the same imagery. I think those two paragraphs could be combined to one finish the poem with a little more impact.
Also, I think the use of 'cum', particularly in quotation marks interrupts the flow of your lines by drawing too much attention to itself. Though, that may have been the intention.
After '.....anywhere' you change from 'you' and 'your' to 'her'. Is this the addition of a third person to your scenario?
The last two paragraphs before the quote are a little repetitive: "slippin' my raging meat/between her/soaking, wet thighs" and "as I pump my hardness/in and out/between her legs" is essentially the same imagery. I think those two paragraphs could be combined to one finish the poem with a little more impact.
Also, I think the use of 'cum', particularly in quotation marks interrupts the flow of your lines by drawing too much attention to itself. Though, that may have been the intention.
15th Sep 2016 6:33pm
caught up in
the drones of
deep moans > love the sound in these lines!
lips trace tantric lines > this made me smile, it reminded me a bit of my Tango :-)
Outstanding ink!
the drones of
deep moans > love the sound in these lines!
lips trace tantric lines > this made me smile, it reminded me a bit of my Tango :-)
Outstanding ink!
16th Sep 2016 6:53pm
I am still reeling from your imagery. The words that you chose for this piece of work shows the dedication and complexity of sex scene that you wanted to provide.
“....the sound of my body crashing down onto yours
Hands smacking my ass…echoing behind closed doors
These two lines just paints the perfect picture in in my head with all the appropriate sounds.It was like an oceanic sex scene
“....the sound of my body crashing down onto yours
Hands smacking my ass…echoing behind closed doors
These two lines just paints the perfect picture in in my head with all the appropriate sounds.It was like an oceanic sex scene
16th Sep 2016 7:46pm
Thank You Queen.....and not trying to sound cliche at all but "Do you feel me?"
8th Dec 2016 9:27pm
lips trace tantric lines
down her chest
sucking her nipples
squeezing her breast
I am quite sure a woman sexing with you will be herself music
my heavy throb,
bobbing up and down
with each and every pulse racing
slippin' my raging meat
between her
soaking, wet thighs
you camouflage it and say throb
i show zip it open and show cock
there lies the difference in music and sound
as we both inside and out go around
ur sophisticated
i in raw fucking
nice to read you off and on you never do nor did
down her chest
sucking her nipples
squeezing her breast
I am quite sure a woman sexing with you will be herself music
my heavy throb,
bobbing up and down
with each and every pulse racing
slippin' my raging meat
between her
soaking, wet thighs
you camouflage it and say throb
i show zip it open and show cock
there lies the difference in music and sound
as we both inside and out go around
ur sophisticated
i in raw fucking
nice to read you off and on you never do nor did
8th Dec 2017 6:39am
Quite a rampant romp here, set my hips a rocking in my chair as I read it. "I want to play with ur love" got me wanting to read on.
