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Where are you now?

This is a poem based on losing myself....
In order to find myself.
You always return back to you, especially after giving it to God. He will get us past our demons, obstacles, trials & tribulations.
Enjoy....

You've become so impossible to find...
I've dropped everything to go to Earth's ends
in search of you.
And not once did you ask, If I'd mind.
No, you just up and left,
without so much as a letter.

My mind has been so heavy, pondering, wondering what could I have done better.
Questioning if you'd found someone else and are happily together
Leaving me so empty,
without the slightest clue of why?
What could be the reason?
Is it another woman, or worse, a guy?

By doing this, you've stripped me of every emotion I've ever felt,
including my pride.
And I honestly believe, I've never given you a reason to leave my side.

Where are you now?
My feet, they bleed, from the blisters, from all of this walking.
My eyes, red, from lack of sleep and exhaustion.
Sleep has even become my enemy.
In fear that you will come back to me,
and with my luck, I will miss you.

Believing you may come again, and leave again, realizing that with me
is not where you want to be.
Because you believed that sleep was for the weak
And that there should be more time in the day to think.
Because you were so creative, you wanted more time.

And I'd ask, "what about dreams?"
You told me, "you can still dream, with your eyes open wide."

Where are you now?
I look in the mirror and I don't see myself,
I see someone else staring back at me.
I am a victim of my own conscience,
it is constantly attacking me.
Blaming me for running you off,
screaming, "you were never good enough, this is all your fault!"

I am on the verge of breaking down inside,
because you still haven't returned.
Your presence being the only thing that I yearn.

To see your ideas spilled out on paper
in a beautiful cluttered mess,
to do things without explanation because you understood me best.

Where are you now?
The clock is ticking, but the hands do not move.
and the silence is so loud,
God, I don't know what else to do..

So I get on my knees and pray, pray that you come back to me.
And pray that you stay this time.

I look in the mirror once more
and finally, my reflection is mine....

- Poetic Gawdess

Written by poetic_gawdess

Published 17th Aug 2016

All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

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