Still In Love

 
 
Somehow the past always returns to resurrect an ache
it opens old wounds half healed from time
replaying in your mind, rewinding the moment when  
I almost lost it all.
I’m dealing with the aftermath of where I fell from grace
that monumental minute that trust was erased.
I can’t look into your eyes without seeing disappointment
I can’t share with you when communication seem so disjointed.
I’m mentally jailed, spiritually shackled to a dim and damp cell
where the walls are painted with shades of my penitence….
trying so hard to bridge the gap of emotional distance.
Praying my actions articulate louder than my words
trying my best to spit apologetic verbs,  
slitting my rhymes instead of my wrists...  
hoping to bleed out the guilt that consumes me.
 
Transgressions have stained our sheets with the blood of my remorse  
where despair fluffs your pillow at night stealing your dreams and desires.
 
I know the strongest love matures with growing pains
and I know you can’t spell insanity without the root of sane ,
but my sanity is gone...
my house no longer a home that holds warm memories.
Memories of a love so tangible I could feel it resting in
the palms of my hands like scriptures I recite in quiet calm.
Memories so powerful and strong they’d force God off his throne.
The same God I’d spent nights….so many nights on bending knees
that bleed from constantly praying for a full heart.
I miss us!I miss the way I would trace the roughness of your skin
and marvel at its reverence,
wrap my legs around the bliss that is you and lick your thick excitement
just to get a taste of what I believe is heaven.
Just to be intimate with the joining of souls, to rewrite us with faith.
Nothing less than a caress of perpetual hope will do… I promise…
I’d give rain a reason to fall without the deafening roar of trepidation.
I’d coax the sun into shining through you… let the light in my soul  
be the sparkle in your eyes…be your lifeline to guide you….hide you,
to be the pride of you.
I’m still here for you… I’m still in love with you.
Still in love with you.
 
Rain~