when the sign flickers out, there's nothing but black

I wear loneliness  
like a sin you can't see  
I smile and I pretend  
and at night when I'm alone  
I don't pray to unseen gods
to fill my heart with more  
than emptiness  
 
They've stopped listening  
though I could be forgiven  
for thinking they ever  
cared at all  
 
All my friends keep saying  
"I'll call you"
but they never do  
because life happens  
and keeps happening  
and it doesn't stop  
 
But life stopped for me  
 
I fell in love with misery  
I fell in love with fantasy  
I fell in love with someone  
who will never love me back  
 
They say love finds you  
when you least expect it  
it found me
and it played me  
and left all alone  
with the memory of someone  
who could have been good for me  
if only there weren’t a mirror  
to my past  
 
I wear loneliness  
like a sin you can't see  
buried behind a smile
I can't take off  
 
© Indie Adams 2016