deepundergroundpoetry.com
On camping in the wilderness
I can hear the little girls outside playing house
complete with the plastic jewel draped drama
of fainting onto an unsuspecting Ken
which inevitably leads to mournful death
just when the babydoll birthrate is at its peak
and the always imminent danger
of lava-dwelling crocodiles
is even more imminent
than usual.
I sigh.
complete with the plastic jewel draped drama
of fainting onto an unsuspecting Ken
which inevitably leads to mournful death
just when the babydoll birthrate is at its peak
and the always imminent danger
of lava-dwelling crocodiles
is even more imminent
than usual.
I sigh.
Published 11th Jul 2011
| Edited 27th Aug 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 2
comments 10
reads 1224
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
13th Jul 2011 10:39pm
the imagery is solid;
the delivery is perfect.
This piece is something like a little present.
Thank you!
the delivery is perfect.
This piece is something like a little present.
Thank you!
15th Jul 2011 3:58pm
23rd Jul 2011 11:11am
23rd Jul 2011 4:04pm
11th Aug 2011 11:16pm
a mineral jewel, precise, grown from years of
family: mine, others, memories, what it all is.
so simple, made me cry and smile.
(on reading list)
family: mine, others, memories, what it all is.
so simple, made me cry and smile.
(on reading list)
19th Oct 2011 8:52pm
ahh, yes
great writing, full of playful humor
very easy to read and imagine,you really have captured a fabulous moment/moments of children at play and managed to get it across without loosing any of it's magic.
i would have liked it to be a little longer
(no.... that is not something i hear a lot, thank you very much)
but i think that is the mark of a great poem is it not.
shine on!
great writing, full of playful humor
very easy to read and imagine,you really have captured a fabulous moment/moments of children at play and managed to get it across without loosing any of it's magic.
i would have liked it to be a little longer
(no.... that is not something i hear a lot, thank you very much)
but i think that is the mark of a great poem is it not.
shine on!
20th Oct 2011 00:40am
Merci, Eamon. I appreciate the reads and definitely the comments.
Have no fear. We all know it's not the length of the poem; it's how you use it.
Have no fear. We all know it's not the length of the poem; it's how you use it.
19th Aug 2012 8:15am
How the days of lava floor and crimson crocodiles shaped my life .. Absolutely, dare I say Poetic. Thanks :) Also, didn't know girls played them games...
30th Apr 2016 9:06am
A vignette that speaks to both the parent and child within me
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/23757-on-camping-in-the-wilderness/
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/23757-on-camping-in-the-wilderness/
