Submissions by jolais
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Ghosts II
It’s the last day of November
here listening to my kids talking on the phone
playing video games
one of them aced her maths test today
a subject she never expected to pass
for her anxiety and natural predilection
for anything but maths
and chemistry --
They’re growing up well
for having just me, mostly
I’ve been in bed all day, sometimes sleeping
not even for being ill
it’s almost an aggressive laziness
when I think of the 50 things I need to do
as soon as I set my feet on the floor
I’ve spent money I don’t...
here listening to my kids talking on the phone
playing video games
one of them aced her maths test today
a subject she never expected to pass
for her anxiety and natural predilection
for anything but maths
and chemistry --
They’re growing up well
for having just me, mostly
I’ve been in bed all day, sometimes sleeping
not even for being ill
it’s almost an aggressive laziness
when I think of the 50 things I need to do
as soon as I set my feet on the floor
I’ve spent money I don’t...
#dark
#MentalHealth
430 reads
2 Comments
Going to call this "Nurture"
my father taught me
that when your tummy hurts there
you need to shit
even if you don’t feel like you do
your body needs it out, so
you sit there and wait
he showed me how to fold towels
so the seams sit nice
don't roll the vacuum cord criss-cross
less tangles
put the pan on a low heat
so the white cooks slowly
leaves the yolk runny enough for toast
he read Tolkien and Ludlum aloud
while we coloured in
did the Gollum voice
for giggles at bedtime
he...
that when your tummy hurts there
you need to shit
even if you don’t feel like you do
your body needs it out, so
you sit there and wait
he showed me how to fold towels
so the seams sit nice
don't roll the vacuum cord criss-cross
less tangles
put the pan on a low heat
so the white cooks slowly
leaves the yolk runny enough for toast
he read Tolkien and Ludlum aloud
while we coloured in
did the Gollum voice
for giggles at bedtime
he...
#learning
#SelfReflection
#SelfWorth
358 reads
0 Comments
Knock knock
I don't want to know
for invisible lightning cracking on sunlit seas
but you - are
knock knock
walk in like you were never gone
smile like thunder never tried too long
to settle here
kiss me like we haven't been apart
longer than we were toxic
---
I make you green tea at dusk
and the wine will leave us alone
in this old harbour
untouched by the world with her global disasters
I remember how our garden sparkled
if the morning was clean
and how the flowers fared in the end
for invisible lightning cracking on sunlit seas
but you - are
knock knock
walk in like you were never gone
smile like thunder never tried too long
to settle here
kiss me like we haven't been apart
longer than we were toxic
---
I make you green tea at dusk
and the wine will leave us alone
in this old harbour
untouched by the world with her global disasters
I remember how our garden sparkled
if the morning was clean
and how the flowers fared in the end
#motivational
628 reads
4 Comments
are we there yet?
i wrote you a poem a few years ago
only remember a few lines now, and
the day i read into a microphone
over your silent suit n' tie
i knew words wouldn't mean anything
wherever you went
i still think about where that is
exactly
still struggle to grasp the idea that
you may have gone back to become a part
of everything
back into matter that surely
can't be unmade
so must change form or where it lay -
different than staying a being
lost or not
or simply booking into some version of heaven
...
only remember a few lines now, and
the day i read into a microphone
over your silent suit n' tie
i knew words wouldn't mean anything
wherever you went
i still think about where that is
exactly
still struggle to grasp the idea that
you may have gone back to become a part
of everything
back into matter that surely
can't be unmade
so must change form or where it lay -
different than staying a being
lost or not
or simply booking into some version of heaven
...
1095 reads
6 Comments
Learned 'im too well for me
He's a fighter, that one
A big boy with bigger brothers
grown up with the hardest father
port side of the island.
Ah, Dad...
broad, heavy man, long white beard
gets the king seat at the bar against the pub wall
for drinking double dark rums on ice all night -
laughs full and sings folk songs without music
loud and way off key for the bygone days
and sometimes for me.
We pinky swear, I think
[his baby fingers thicker than my thumbs]
but I still don't know what to.
He speaks round and round in...
A big boy with bigger brothers
grown up with the hardest father
port side of the island.
Ah, Dad...
broad, heavy man, long white beard
gets the king seat at the bar against the pub wall
for drinking double dark rums on ice all night -
laughs full and sings folk songs without music
loud and way off key for the bygone days
and sometimes for me.
We pinky swear, I think
[his baby fingers thicker than my thumbs]
but I still don't know what to.
He speaks round and round in...
948 reads
6 Comments
Some of us abandon Heaven
I grew up in perpetual summer
fishing, camping, ocean, sun
the perceived safe haven of acquired ohana
but after the initial gash and scar
of our broken family
leaving my ne[s]t
infection set in;
I died
and swept up in the changes of chance
and bitterness of fortunes
abandoned everything I truly loved in life.
Somewhere
it had something to do with my mother
and her ambition toward her God-given right
to have everything
she simply wanted:
To soak her painted toes in the crystal chlorinated water
of her own...
fishing, camping, ocean, sun
the perceived safe haven of acquired ohana
but after the initial gash and scar
of our broken family
leaving my ne[s]t
infection set in;
I died
and swept up in the changes of chance
and bitterness of fortunes
abandoned everything I truly loved in life.
Somewhere
it had something to do with my mother
and her ambition toward her God-given right
to have everything
she simply wanted:
To soak her painted toes in the crystal chlorinated water
of her own...
770 reads
0 Comments
happy birthday, babyface
i'm hittin another birthday
a big one this time
otherwise
i wouldn't ruminate on it
so much
always thought
(under-30s do)
that's the "old" mark
where there's no fudging it anymore
ya just old, girl
mostly because you're a girl
and they say kids keep you young
but they don't really
it's more
they make you backtrack
and remember
and relive
(if you're doing it right)
what made you enjoy life
when you were that small
but it wears on one's face
i think
when they
or you
are having...
a big one this time
otherwise
i wouldn't ruminate on it
so much
always thought
(under-30s do)
that's the "old" mark
where there's no fudging it anymore
ya just old, girl
mostly because you're a girl
and they say kids keep you young
but they don't really
it's more
they make you backtrack
and remember
and relive
(if you're doing it right)
what made you enjoy life
when you were that small
but it wears on one's face
i think
when they
or you
are having...
1077 reads
6 Comments
Valerie
told me you'd be with your girl today:
the one you run to
when you need to be loose
of the confines, the monotone
of us
the lady in red gloss
an insatiable roar climbing her chest
when you lay into her
the way she deserves
she was made for it:
your guiding her curves
between open wings of sand
straddling black -
the tarmac
ride her to exhaustion
clench teeth and hold on for the screams
with a bourbon on the side
and if you spot a glimpse, a glimmer
a gleam on the...
the one you run to
when you need to be loose
of the confines, the monotone
of us
the lady in red gloss
an insatiable roar climbing her chest
when you lay into her
the way she deserves
she was made for it:
your guiding her curves
between open wings of sand
straddling black -
the tarmac
ride her to exhaustion
clench teeth and hold on for the screams
with a bourbon on the side
and if you spot a glimpse, a glimmer
a gleam on the...
1260 reads
18 Comments
However we define the madness
It's freezing out here, though wind's best for drying on days
like this, where sun is snug deep behind fort walls of cloud.
My fingers ache from this cold and damp.
They slow as if they're hypothermic, and all my blue pegs
keep breaking. Only blue, I don't know why. My murder
of crows is back as well. They circle and caw every time I step out--
maybe they're trying to tell me something.
Goddammit, these blue pegs are useless.
...
like this, where sun is snug deep behind fort walls of cloud.
My fingers ache from this cold and damp.
They slow as if they're hypothermic, and all my blue pegs
keep breaking. Only blue, I don't know why. My murder
of crows is back as well. They circle and caw every time I step out--
maybe they're trying to tell me something.
Goddammit, these blue pegs are useless.
...
1186 reads
14 Comments
Communication is so last season
no, I won't talk to you
I won't look at you but for when
you're talking to me
because I know
I'll slip
and you'll catch me like you always do
and I'll lose
again
when there's so much to keep my eyes on
so no
I won't talk to you
and I won't watch you
as you play and smirk
reveling in who you are
and all you are to her
and him
and them
and I don't care that you only check me
in your periphery
my little logic is
at...
I won't look at you but for when
you're talking to me
because I know
I'll slip
and you'll catch me like you always do
and I'll lose
again
when there's so much to keep my eyes on
so no
I won't talk to you
and I won't watch you
as you play and smirk
reveling in who you are
and all you are to her
and him
and them
and I don't care that you only check me
in your periphery
my little logic is
at...
996 reads
8 Comments
On camping in the wilderness
I can hear the little girls outside playing house
complete with the plastic jewel draped drama
of fainting onto an unsuspecting Ken
which inevitably leads to mournful death
just when the babydoll birthrate is at its peak
and the always imminent danger
of lava-dwelling crocodiles
is even more imminent
than usual.
I sigh.
complete with the plastic jewel draped drama
of fainting onto an unsuspecting Ken
which inevitably leads to mournful death
just when the babydoll birthrate is at its peak
and the always imminent danger
of lava-dwelling crocodiles
is even more imminent
than usual.
I sigh.
1158 reads
10 Comments
Decisions of a housetrained poet
They should take their places, thrash us with their rapier pens
those cudgels
that render, with surprising accuracy
the slices
that have power to rearrange us
We could use a good 'what for'
for inanity
and our relentless
barrages
of some chaotic flutter effect
where we become obtrusions on the serenity
of honesty
free breathing and burn-writing
and clear vision;
which is almost as irritating
as your golden voice having to trip over weird structure
and...
those cudgels
that render, with surprising accuracy
the slices
that have power to rearrange us
We could use a good 'what for'
for inanity
and our relentless
barrages
of some chaotic flutter effect
where we become obtrusions on the serenity
of honesty
free breathing and burn-writing
and clear vision;
which is almost as irritating
as your golden voice having to trip over weird structure
and...
1011 reads
10 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by jolais