an honest poem

Jack, dearest.
This is so unlike your usual style, that I had to leave it for an hour and come back to it because I wasn't sure what to think.

On further consideration, I kinda like it. I think the title is very relevant to the words you've used. I'm gonna take this as a surrealist piece, which is not a genre I particularly understand, but can appreciate others do.

The repetition of 'world of shit' got me thinking of that god awful 'oak furniture world' advert on TV. Perhaps that's the emphasis here. Everything is in its essence, a manufactured nightmare.

If I'm clutching at the wrong straws here do feel free to correct my ass.

Thank you for the read.

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment, Missy. xxx The poem is about confessional poetry, and the idea of prostituting your personal life for your art. I think when I started writing it I meant it to be dadaist, but then my focus shifted slightly.

:)  Honest indeed.   Having read this previously, I see the tweeks and, dare I say it, twerks you have placed in it. Is it too much to say that I think it gyrates perfectly? ;) You have actually maintained the Dada influence in the overall twisting left to right of the piece. It is just enough to compliment as opposed to some ill-bred cut-up attempt.that jerks all over the page. Man! This is good! You have encompassed why I write as well as why sometimes I don't, and you have done it with style. Also, this is still my favorite part -

"if this is the romantic's hell,
with a dash of surrealist's weird,
(and the postmodern's crap),
then where are me and thee,
the lover and the loved,
who must appear in all poems (by me)? "

Truth? I think Sexton would be telling you, "Not too bad on this one ole boy"  ;)

Thank you, Maggie, that comment made my day. xxx

Ohhh Jack!

I like this; yes it separates itself from what we used to, but it pushes buttons and boundaries and I like that.
I'm not used to the "blunt" narration (oh god for the use of a better adjective) from you.
But it spits it out raw and rough and well how refreshing.

I have an affection for some of the imagery in this...
"where science keeps the waste afloat,  
and culture keeps it fer-  
menting. "
....
"romantic's hell,  
with a dash of surrealist's weird"
....
" washing remnants of the past  
in city blocks  
and selling them as souvenirs. "

Are all vivid and memorable to me...

I'd like to echo Maggie and quote her "Man, this is good!"

Okay, Okay, I know I'm going on and on... I feel this speaks to the "Rock 'n Roller" in me, the one who would sell his "butt pic" to afford a party and write a novel for a house, but will fill the world with "Straight Speak" as if it delivers some kind of retribution for the wrongs that make life livable.

I'm beyond impressed Jack!
Thanks for this!
Al

;)

What's this about a butt pic? I must have it! :P Thank you for your very kind feedback, my friend. xxx

figure d I'd wait for some comments and clues so as not to expose my ignorance. at first read, I had thought it a vilification of a place rather than of a technique or genre. it makes sense both ways I suppose. certainly made me think and I suppose on some level I think maybe you're right and on some level maybe there's another side to the genre which is necessary, but I dunno, either way I feel I have not grasped the full connotations of the words

sorry man, nothing of a constructive nature

good stuff

 

Thank you for your feedback, Eamo. It was more constructive than you think. xxx

Fucking truth-struck.
Ouch! and I like your
pinches.


Masterous fidelity to lady
honesty.