Redneck Revenge

If i could get away with something that i normally would not...    
I'd kid nap my toothless red neck neighbor while she was mowing in her waaaay to small yeller tube top!    
   
See i am normally one to say "love your body no matter what your size!!"    
But this fat chicks rollin belly makes that neon yellow crime of fashion steadily by force of gut rise and rise. And "fuck me!" i looked, jeeeez! Now i might have to poke out mih eyes.    
   
Its enough to watch her big ass cheaks fight!  
 Ewe! To see her in daisy duke shorts, and the all out battle tween her white cellulite ridden thighs....    
   
And the camel toe...(just threw up in mih mouth a lil) makes mih bile rize.    
   
And she mows in increasingly more zig zagged lines, keeps a Jack bottle close to stop and occasionally take long gulped swallow and swig
While obliviously mowin over flyin twigs.    
   
Instead of picking up the myriad shit in the yard....she cuts a path with her mower in a drunken craze.    
A foot tall the grass, the mower hasn't seen action in many many a dazed day!    
   
The accumulating foster kids dart around rescuing toys and thangs...    
The stoned hubby stumbles out in his confederate flag drawes. Bubbah (foster daddy) decides to sang.."I was drunk the day my mama got outta prison..i went, to pick er up, in the rain! But before i could get to the station in mih picuuup truck! I got ranned over by a damned ol train!"    
   
Then tank top lady yells at em all at least twice!.."Jes get outta here and be quiet! Do any of you know what it takes fer mih to keep this place loookin nice!!!?"    
   
Meanwhile..that yeller tube top is rizin and a rizin to expose at cRedneck Revenge  
If i could get away with something that i normally would not...  
I'd kid nap my toothless red neck neighbor while she was mowing in her waaaay to small yeller tube top!    
    
See i am normally one to say "love your body no matter what your size!!"  
But this fat chicks rollin belly makes that neon yellow crime of fashion steadily by force of gut rise and rise. And "fuck me!" i looked, jeeeez! Now i might have to poke out mih eyes.  
    
Its enough to watch her big ass cheaks fight!  
 Ewe! To see her in daisy duke shorts, and the all out battle tween her white cellulite ridden thighs....  
    
And the camel toe...(just threw up in mih mouth a lil) makes mih bile rize.    
    
And she mows in increasingly more zig zagged lines, keeps a Jack bottle close to stop and occasionally take long gulped swigs. While obliviously mowin over flyin twigs.  
    
Instead of picking up the myriad shit in the yard....she cuts a path with her mower in a drunken craze.  
A foot tall the grass, the mower hasn't seen action in many many a dazed day!    
    
The accumulating foster kids dart around rescuing toys and thangs...  
The stoned hubby stumbles out and decides to sang.."I was drunk the day my mama got outta prison..i went, to pick er up, in the rain! But before i could get to the station in mih picuuup truck! I got ranned over by a damned ol train!"  
    
Then tank top lady yells at em all at least twice!.."Jes get outta here and be quiet! Do any of you know what it takes fer mih to keep this place loookin nice!!!?"  
    
Meanwhile..that yeller tube top is rizin and a rizin to expose a completely horrific heights!! Two disgustin plate sized nipples showed  er more with each disturbin belly rolled propelled rize....😞🔫.  
    
So yes, i'd love to borry a strangers van. Cover her head, tie her up, bind her hands.  
Make her swear on a bible and make an "I'll dress aproputtlee oathe.."  
And to expect much worse if ever she mows again not fully cloathed.