deepundergroundpoetry.com
street girl
it’s a dirty story. porn in black&white. there is no color here,
no romance. not poetry by any stretch.
she never tried to deceive him. he knew exactly what she was –
she was a whore, & she looked like a whore. she was a pretty
mess, with no desire to gloss over it, not even for a man who
stirred emotions in her bleak cell, several inches above her
incriminating vagina.
he was amazed at how tight her pit was. she had fucked a lot of
men before he met her, still did, but she felt arousingly constrictive,
almost virginal, when he pressed into her.
she says dirty things that shock some men, like a female shouldn’t
be rooted in that kind of filth. gutter language: it’s the only parlance
she knows.
what made her like that? some women feel that they will only be loved
for their sexuality, as if that were the absoluteness of woman’s creation.
but she had no delusions about love; she enjoyed sex, what she
obtained from it for herself, & in being the instrument of a man’s selfish
pleasure. she had no regrets about being a cumrag, used & discarded.
he wouldn’t live with her, but saw her regularly. they preferred to maintain
the masquerade that it was strictly for sex. a sudden spark blistered their
skin when he fell on her naked. he bit her nipples & shoulders like a
rabid wolf, as if he would rip away her flesh. she felt her cunt creaming
when he forced a finger into her surrendering ass while he fucked her.
after they came, there were some moments of heavy breathing &
recovery. no caressing, certainly no pretense of affection. he would
leave silently. it was very cold, & she expected it.
when he wasn’t with her, his mind would track her, imagining her under
the carnal siege of another man. but he struggled to eradicate those
visions. she’s a whore, after all, & he won’t waste love on her.
yet, for all of her dirtiness, she goes & takes the sun…
Published 2nd Sep 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 20
reading list entries 5
comments 18
reads 1727
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Sep 2015 6:47pm
John a very real erotic hitting home with me..
loved the hint of romance with the ending..
"yet, for all of her dirtiness, she goes & takes the sun…"
a realistic and at the same time beautiful view of her..
masterful inking Sir..
with love Crim
loved the hint of romance with the ending..
"yet, for all of her dirtiness, she goes & takes the sun…"
a realistic and at the same time beautiful view of her..
masterful inking Sir..
with love Crim
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
2nd Sep 2015 8:44pm
<< post removed >>
2nd Sep 2015 8:55pm
There is a beauty of truth which emanates from someone who is truly who they are. We might not always like it, but we can't help but admire and envy it if we aren't who we really want to be.
This captures that wondrously.
This captures that wondrously.
2nd Sep 2015 10:27pm
Your work always seems to revolve around whores...While beautiful and poignant, if it is written as a true account...I do hope one day you can find love, even if you think you don't want to. <3
2nd Sep 2015 10:31pm
"she was a pretty
mess, with no desire to gloss over it, not even for a man who
stirred emotions in her bleak cell, several inches above her
incriminating vagina."
~astounding heart-flutteries you pen.. *respect.. all respect fer your imagery..
"what made her like that? some women feel that they will only be loved
for their sexuality, as if that were the absoluteness of woman’s creation."
~this stanza almost soft-spotted the tryst en masquerade, as if the constant ponder
and time taken on the *why of her makes this gesture a warmly felt attachment
The sun does cling to the streets and this is an exceptional work, SirJ..
tahs sweetie,
~d
mess, with no desire to gloss over it, not even for a man who
stirred emotions in her bleak cell, several inches above her
incriminating vagina."
~astounding heart-flutteries you pen.. *respect.. all respect fer your imagery..
"what made her like that? some women feel that they will only be loved
for their sexuality, as if that were the absoluteness of woman’s creation."
~this stanza almost soft-spotted the tryst en masquerade, as if the constant ponder
and time taken on the *why of her makes this gesture a warmly felt attachment
The sun does cling to the streets and this is an exceptional work, SirJ..
tahs sweetie,
~d
3rd Sep 2015 00:02am
3rd Sep 2015 1:39am
Man the way you write so raw.you don't hold anything back just the way it should be .
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing
3rd Sep 2015 2:09am
"she never tried to deceive him. he knew exactly what she was –
she was a whore, & she looked like a whore. she was a pretty
mess, with no desire to gloss over it, not even for a man who
stirred emotions in her bleak cell, several inches above her
incriminating vagina."
Oh, that's beautiful as it gets right there. Gotta love her for her honesty.
"he was amazed at how tight her pit was. she had fucked a lot of
men before he met her, still did, but she felt arousingly constrictive,
almost virginal, when he pressed into her."
love the sensuality of that line, though this whole poem is a masterpiece.
"what made her like that? some women feel that they will only be loved
for their sexuality, as if that were the absoluteness of woman’s creation.
but she had no delusions about love; she enjoyed sex, what she
obtained from it for herself"
Your words capture the essence beautifully. I truly loved this. An amazing piece of writing.
Michael
she was a whore, & she looked like a whore. she was a pretty
mess, with no desire to gloss over it, not even for a man who
stirred emotions in her bleak cell, several inches above her
incriminating vagina."
Oh, that's beautiful as it gets right there. Gotta love her for her honesty.
"he was amazed at how tight her pit was. she had fucked a lot of
men before he met her, still did, but she felt arousingly constrictive,
almost virginal, when he pressed into her."
love the sensuality of that line, though this whole poem is a masterpiece.
"what made her like that? some women feel that they will only be loved
for their sexuality, as if that were the absoluteness of woman’s creation.
but she had no delusions about love; she enjoyed sex, what she
obtained from it for herself"
Your words capture the essence beautifully. I truly loved this. An amazing piece of writing.
Michael
3rd Sep 2015 4:39pm
The ending strikes the iron strangely, for me. - The double entendre leaves me with a brow arched. Almost as if she, through his eyes, doesn't deserve the sun's caress. Always love seeing your view into the seedy lifestyle of whoring. Respectfully, blue angel
3rd Sep 2015 10:48pm
i don't know where to begin here, truly, my mind seems to have forsaken me (again) but this is par for the course with your writing, mister feddeler...
"she was a whore, & she looked like a whore. she was a
pretty
mess, with no desire to gloss over it, not even for a man
who
stirred emotions in her bleak cell, several inches above
her
incriminating vagina."
... your honesty is like a knife
^^^^^
love that
love this
truly
xoxox
"she was a whore, & she looked like a whore. she was a
pretty
mess, with no desire to gloss over it, not even for a man
who
stirred emotions in her bleak cell, several inches above
her
incriminating vagina."
... your honesty is like a knife
^^^^^
love that
love this
truly
xoxox
Anonymous
3rd Sep 2015 11:07pm
JFeddeler, this has to be one of your most touching poems to date ~ from start to finish. . .While poignant and raw this piece is also filled with sentimental emotion, confused emotion, restraint emotion, and perhaps it is why strange creatures tend to fall for such tragic beauties; they embody everything we want and don't want. . .Stunning and Brilliant, John, it is no wonder I consider you the King of Noir. . .much love to you. . .xoxo, Devlin;)
Anonymous
4th Sep 2015 7:24am
There is a subtext of caring in the bleakness of this piece. It's masterful writing, but the intensity of mutual need is subtly portrayed. The splash of color at the tail of those cold monochrome frames tells the truth of the relationship.
4th Sep 2015 1:59pm
Raw, ragged and unpretentious the fuck fight between them meaning more than either are prepared to admit. Great piece of penmanship.
6th Sep 2015 00:16am
Such a matter of fact write that ended up diving into me. I have no words right now.
7th Sep 2015 6:43am
Positively beautiful..you've captured a accurate balance of emotion in this piece..and in my heart...great job
13th Sep 2015 3:43am
27th Sep 2015 1:40am
The streets can be shameful, indeed and yet if you do not allow those feelings to take a hold of your thoughts, then the sun shall outshine the darkness....loved it. <3
10th Sep 2016 7:19am
