Cocaine Free and The Writing High

Hi my names Jennifer and im an addict

Clean and sober now, but remember the feelings that the want would never stop, and id never enjoy anything again if i werent drunk or high.

I love it now. Life is manageable, art is better, orgasm better, i like me better.

Talk to me anytime. This write was powerful! Brave!

Love u sug!
🍒J

thank you lovely Jennifer you and my other lovelies give me hope for brighter days :)

with love Brenda

thank you beautiful one for the love you continue to show me..

I love you and know you are there for me and hope you know I am here for you as well :)

love Brenda

Ahhh, crimsin, luv ~ :-*

I wish I had great words of immense wisdom to give you that would bring immediate relief; if I had them, I would gift them without reservation, luv.

The best I have is this: from all I understand, it sucks like breaking up with a long-time lover who's so bad for you but who you want so very badly.

At first, all you can do is think of her or him, craving, missing, convinced you'll never find another as wonderful...but, that's the fallacy, isn't it? For, the truth is he or she isn't so very wonderful; in fact, shitty doesn't begin to describe the reality. Sure, there are moments of bliss, but when you reflect, when you're able to Finally reflect, you think mayhap those moments weren't as great as it seemed like they were either.

Day-to-day, the mundane - yeah, that's some scary stuff right there. But, maybe, just maybe there's bliss there too. In those moments undiluted by somewhat else, you know? Like glimmerings of sunlight upon silk spiderwebs spun that catch your eye when the light's just right, tiny rainbows refracting everywhere... :-*

I've faith in you, luv, and an immense degree of respect...

lovely Savaja your beautiful encouraging and insightful comments has put balm on my aching need..   thank you beautiful and wise one with all my heart..   with love Crimsin

Brenda, such honesty to share your pain.. wish i could take it away.. but us writers know we have to face our demons head on.. i'm not religious, so i can't pray for you.. but may mother earth reveal her plans for you.. because your honesty, is something that could heal wounds on this earth.. love you..


Dave

thank you Dave that's the main reason I'm leaving this up..

hoping it will help heal me and maybe reach others..

with love Brenda

it's good to share your knowledge, Crim, might keep others from falling. purposeful poetry...

thank you John one could hope..

with love Crim

Ahhh; New Life!

CONGRATULATIONS Brenda.

This write shows that You do have
Determination and Control over Your
self if even You do occasionally slip.

I think that we've all been there.

"the devil's in the details  
read between the lines  
I've snorted up my nose,"

This stanza was clever but Truth-telling.

Keep writing... Dantalian

thank you Dantalian for putting a big smile on my face this morning..

your encouragement is just what I needed today :)

with love Brenda

been there, done this

create a buzz word, when you have the cravings, say it to yourself as many times as it takes until the wanting stops ....

it works ....

courage sister ...x

I have a word in mind thank you Poet that's a great idea..

this word really turns me off as does being a coke whore..

thank you for the encouragement means a lot to me :)

with love Brenda

"the devil's in the details  
read between the lines  
I've snorted up my nose"

Awesome. Love it!

Sorry to hear you're going through this. Addiction is a cold and nasty bitch.

When you've been high so long,
"normal" feels pretty fucking low.
But the opposite is also true,
when you've been down so long,
"normal" feels pretty good.
So hit rock bottom and embrace the ground for a bit.
Pretty soon, things will start looking up.

thank you lovely lady for the great comment and insightful words of encouragement..

with love Crim

I might know some of this feeling, although I'm sure there's differences.  I kicked meth after years of daily usage about eleven years ago.  I've never gone back.  I felt pretty much like a zombie initially.  Even now the lethargy's hard to shake, and an occasional wistful thought kicks in.  But I realize that my stability's too much at risk as it is, so no dice.  Thanks for sharing Crim.  Your writing's at a very high level, no doubt about it!

thank you Sir Crow for sharing from a personal place it's appreciated, also for such a kind comment..

with love Crim

"why do I feel most alive living on the edge?"... cuz we are boredly trapped in skin methinks..

Cuttingly writ, lovely Brenda.. *be stubborn* & survive through your heart to pen. kicked a CR habit in 20's this way.
You always share dark rainbows of strength & will with your words. We all gotts you darlin, *hand squeezes
Triumph, you will.. even every fail is still A TRY.. loves you lady!
~d
 

lovely d~ you're dead on with your comment about just being bored..

thank you for sharing first hand experience and that writing helped you it's helping me as well..

love Brenda

You describe your situation much like a bio. I just watched the other day on Robert Downy Jr... He admitted it took nearly every shame imagineable to finally get him to quit n stay sober... It's a horror I've never allowed to happen to myself becuz I've always avoided using anything to had the potential to
control me... Worse I've ever done was weed, n even that I was leery of at times lol... I applaud ur courage my dear... Just don't give up trying to quit for good...

I love Robert Downy Jr. and since he got clean his career has sky rocketed.. maybe i'll take more time for writing and less for partying hopefully it works.. thank you Poe glad you stayed clear of this kind of mess..

with love Crim

Well written and very powerful.
I'm stuck in the same place but have not found my way out.
Work like this inspires hope for a reader struggling with similar addictions.
Good work.
Truly enjoyed.

I truly hope you find your way out glad to inspire..

thank you for leaving your thoughts..

hoping you find your way..

sincerely Crimsin

Wow this a very personal and powerful poem. all I can say is I know how you feel now and time is the great healer along with family and friends.

Stay strong
  Thanks for sharing

thank you for a great comment and understanding also for the sound advise..

with love Crim

Mmm! how it feels to be an addict or a victim.

just an addict..

no victim I did it to myself..

thank you for reading Crim

I can relate to this more than I wish to admit. We are only human, my friend. :)

yes we are only human thank you for understanding..

with love Crim