The Aftermath of a Nightmare

I'm just working through some heavy feelings...
The day after a night of horrible dreams...

Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me
As I sit across the dinner table from a chair; empty.
Where is the wife and kids, the family?
The solid gold Lamborghini, the unicorn with wings?

Can't a heart like mine attract these things?

I've heard of people wishing to find a genie
So they can wish all their wildest dreams come true
But if they had the kind of dreams I have
They'd understand why I say, "no thank you."

How many times can a person catch fire and die?
Or get angry at you, hate you, and forever drive away?
Leaving your world empty, alone, nothing to do but cry
Until the sun goes supernova blacking out the day?

I realize you might not know what to say
I usually don't even know what to do,
Irrational, emotional, empty and cold
End up the overwhelming resulting mood

Like after I laid under those quickly chilling sheets;
Not long before, heaven, but suddenly suffocating
As abruptly, without a word, she fled the scene
When she realized what she had just done to me

And just like that she was gone.
I think that might be when all this began
And now I expect people I love to always run
Just as soon as they've had their fun

And I never end up being "the one"
That they WANT to actually have in their life,
This self fulfilling prophesy was repeatedly fulfilled
Every time I tried to find anything like a wife

Like I'm only good enough for a one or two night stand
Nobody ever wanting me as their man
Or even part of any long term plan
To lay in bed and just hold hands

This is all so irrational, I know,

I'm just trying to work through some deep rooted things,
Trying to figure out these ridiculous dreams,
Trying to figure out what they mean, if anything
Before they finally end up claiming my sanity.

I hope nobody takes this too personally...
I'm just working through some heavy feelings...