deepundergroundpoetry.com
~Death By Dally~
Slimy, decaying flesh
Rotted out eyes
Slipping down the carcass
An untimely demise
Brain corroded to mush
Skull fractured and cracked
Limbs torn and cut
Torso now abstract
Teeth of sharp shrapnel
Torn into bits
Up to the pearly gates?
Or down to the pits?
Where will you have gone
My last little friend
When I take your life
And send you to the end
Rotted out eyes
Slipping down the carcass
An untimely demise
Brain corroded to mush
Skull fractured and cracked
Limbs torn and cut
Torso now abstract
Teeth of sharp shrapnel
Torn into bits
Up to the pearly gates?
Or down to the pits?
Where will you have gone
My last little friend
When I take your life
And send you to the end
Published 23rd Nov 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
Oooh, I like the gruesome details, the rotting diction and the reveal of the poet as the murderer in the end.
Or its something else...
"Brain corroded to mush... My last little friend". If my brain wasn't so mushy myself, I could dissect the possibilities of shrivels of madness. But nonetheless, the flow is at ease, the rhyme scheme is at a perfect ABAC performance. Good job. :).
Or its something else...
"Brain corroded to mush... My last little friend". If my brain wasn't so mushy myself, I could dissect the possibilities of shrivels of madness. But nonetheless, the flow is at ease, the rhyme scheme is at a perfect ABAC performance. Good job. :).
1st Dec 2014 9:00pm
