Never stopped love

Today I was to tell u what happened....why I did what I did. Before I gave u away I said it was nothing big...I wanted to keep y'all I wanted to stand tall but tryed a I did my addiction put up a harsh wall... My drug abuse started to play game a an party I met ur dad an my whole world was sad...he said I was safe I never had a place.... Soon u born my first and he hated u and cursed bc u were a girl not a boy to him u were a doll just a toy.... So he beat me up Dailey I swore I would stay so u would have a home where u could play.... Your brother came next and it got somewhat sweeter but I never recovered when he would lie and became a cheater.... My pain was so mine cause I covered his trials I never talk down or became brat I jut sat thru life with a small fake smile.... I got pregnant again with the angel of my life she was so perfect and every finger was right .... But again I became a battered wife.... So the drugs came to me as a escape not a rerun when I did them so small I felt I could finally run .... When I made an attempt he tryed to kill me again and I needed the suffering to end once again.... He was nothing to me not even my friend .... So the drugs came to play an important role to see him everyday just so I could look him in his face was a chore to me I tryed to be the best mommy I could be.... I gave up my baby's my angel count three so I could help my addiction and y'all couldn't see.... I never stopped loving u guys but as adults now u need a reprise.... Daddy loves y'all not me and I couldn't stand the way I bahaved and now I have said all I have said ... I hope that u know I'm clean and not broke ... The town doesn't joke and I have no dreams of using or even life's little rope has extended for me bc I'm finally free of the one thing that's hurt me for years about u three.... One step to my left or my right could hve changed my whole life .... One thing god gave me that I am proud of the most is the 3 perfect children I could have had close.... Sincerely to you from mom I hope one day we can fix my view of me to a strong song ur proud to sing .... Ur my greatest accomplishments know that .....I'm sorry and I love u and I hope u hold that.....you did nothing wrong and that's a fact...