deepundergroundpoetry.com

Between the Lines
Between the Lines
"Welcome to Home Depot. Did you find everything you were looking for today M'am?"
Is this better for you baby ...
it's chained and camouflaged
for the ease of my destruction.
glibly masked so I can't witness your reservations.
scarecrow limps
strung in the gallows of my making.
I beg for the blows of my dark executioner's sweet labrys.
swing it to split me inside out.
then flip it to slit my throat
with the poison that is both you and I.
make me choke on it.
No you can't list your little brother on eBay. I don't care what he did.
my hips
your pendulum
as you send me rocking.
pounding the cold gray slabs to tittles
with the breath of my shoulders.
entwined with shards of my pulverized flesh.
Can't your mother stay with your sister some times? Last time she was here I think she found some of my ... my ... things.
roasting in this inferno
my skin is caramelized.
my soul blackened at the edges
as it's charred with each rotation.
use
your
teeth
to release me.
delivering your antidote through my labyrinth's backdoor.
Are you sure nobody's gonna recognize me if you post it?
Written for the Interpretive Art challenge hosted by Rain. Voted runner-up.
"Welcome to Home Depot. Did you find everything you were looking for today M'am?"
Is this better for you baby ...
it's chained and camouflaged
for the ease of my destruction.
glibly masked so I can't witness your reservations.
scarecrow limps
strung in the gallows of my making.
I beg for the blows of my dark executioner's sweet labrys.
swing it to split me inside out.
then flip it to slit my throat
with the poison that is both you and I.
make me choke on it.
No you can't list your little brother on eBay. I don't care what he did.
my hips
your pendulum
as you send me rocking.
pounding the cold gray slabs to tittles
with the breath of my shoulders.
entwined with shards of my pulverized flesh.
Can't your mother stay with your sister some times? Last time she was here I think she found some of my ... my ... things.
roasting in this inferno
my skin is caramelized.
my soul blackened at the edges
as it's charred with each rotation.
use
your
teeth
to release me.
delivering your antidote through my labyrinth's backdoor.
Are you sure nobody's gonna recognize me if you post it?
Written for the Interpretive Art challenge hosted by Rain. Voted runner-up.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 2
comments 26
reads 1799
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Between the Lines
Anonymous
1st Jun 2014 6:54am
A wonderful write! clever and edgy with a dark haze ;) nice work

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re: Re: Between the Lines
1st Jun 2014 12:01pm
I'm glad you picked up on the edginess ... Most of us harbor that dark razor that we keep sheathed between PTA meetings and family dinners ... Thanks for the read
Re: Between the Lines
1st Jun 2014 8:55am
re: Re: Between the Lines
1st Jun 2014 12:02pm
I always appreciate your feedback on my work Rose ... Many thanks - Cheers
Re: Between the Lines
1st Jun 2014 1:53pm
Ay! Lobo, this be the first erotic poem that I have read from you, so dark, foreboding and that last line gives a touch of careless colloquialismo! It flows strangely beautiful.
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re: Re: Between the Lines
2nd Jun 2014 2:23am
I'm glad you enjoyed the dark side of this ... Erotica is not my strongest suit but I loved offering interpretation to the given photo
Re: Between the Lines
1st Jun 2014 2:18pm
Lo, this is my favorite write of yours
So much going on here
Fellow nyc brother
So glad to know you
So much going on here
Fellow nyc brother
So glad to know you
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re: Re: Between the Lines
2nd Jun 2014 2:28am
Glad you enjoyed it ... Gotta represent NYC where ever we can brotha ; )
Re: Between the Lines
1st Jun 2014 3:13pm
Mo Chara,
I can feel the tight-rope tension..stretched taught within, and between these lines--
And the darker, somewhat sordid side
So many seem to successfully hide....
Behind all those 'closed' (everyday)doors.....
I especially enjoyed your unique, creative format--truly enhances the over-all theme of this piece.
Well penned!
I can feel the tight-rope tension..stretched taught within, and between these lines--
And the darker, somewhat sordid side
So many seem to successfully hide....
Behind all those 'closed' (everyday)doors.....
I especially enjoyed your unique, creative format--truly enhances the over-all theme of this piece.
Well penned!
0

re: Re: Between the Lines
2nd Jun 2014 2:37am
Go raibh maith agaibh ...
I appreciate you reading & commenting and your very kind words ... And I'm glad the format worked. Your confirmation solidifies my confidence in the piece.
I appreciate you reading & commenting and your very kind words ... And I'm glad the format worked. Your confirmation solidifies my confidence in the piece.
Re: Between the Lines
1st Jun 2014 10:56pm
I loved this in the comp, Pedro! One point off from being tied with the winner....
Very creative, brilliantly written, delivered amazingly....Xo
Very creative, brilliantly written, delivered amazingly....Xo
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re: Re: Between the Lines
2nd Jun 2014 2:41am
Win or runner-up ... I just enjoyed being able to play with this theme and experimenting with the format. Thanks again for the spring board Lady Rain.
Re: Between the Lines
2nd Jun 2014 2:57am
I didn't even read the other entries to the comp but I will say with confidence that you should have won. Great work
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re: Re: Between the Lines
2nd Jun 2014 9:01am
Thank you that vote of confidence my Dark side brotha, but there was some outstanding ink by some of DUP's best in the mix and as the host mentioned even in this thread only a single point separated each of the top three in the competition ...
... I kept a lesson I learned from you in penning this though: the darker the better.
... I kept a lesson I learned from you in penning this though: the darker the better.
Re: Between the Lines
That is the first no-haiku-form piece from you I was lucky to read and I must say I am really thrilled! Hot write, LSP! Congrats to the follow-up, by the way!
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re: Re: Between the Lines
3rd Jun 2014 1:29am
I'm glad you enjoyed it Miss Chi ... I like to think that working at haiku helps me be more precise in my word selection and pacing in larger pieces ... Your kind words have helped me know my efforts aren't in vain
Re: Between the Lines
8th Jun 2014 5:34pm
Interesting the way you wove mundane daily events/conversational snippets amongst more private moments and a leaning towards bdsm. This is a rare piece. Kudos.
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re: Re: Between the Lines
8th Jun 2014 10:11pm
Thank you for the read and comment ... I was just having this very conversation with the woman who inspires much of my writing. She was presenting at a workshop and in a casual moment with the group remarked she enjoys Jack on the rocks. They couldn't believe she was "that type of woman" ...?
re: re: Re: Between the Lines
9th Jun 2014 4:19am
Re: Between the Lines
12th Jul 2014 8:54pm
re: Re: Between the Lines
13th Jul 2014 5:58pm
lol ... You can thank your poetic sista Rain for the photo ... She posted it on the site for an interpretive competition she hosted a while back ...
The photo is HOT! - so it made for a great springboard
The photo is HOT! - so it made for a great springboard
re: re: Re: Between the Lines
13th Jul 2014 6:53pm
Re. Between the Lines
1st Jan 2018 6:02pm
Re: Re. Between the Lines
2nd Jan 2018 4:08am
I play Mod Squad cop by day ...
... poet by night (I can let you have all the fun writing erotica lol)
... poet by night (I can let you have all the fun writing erotica lol)
Re: Re. Between the Lines
2nd Jan 2018 5:25am