The Last Time...

"This Was the last time... I promise... "
How many times have I said it?

As I look into his eyes...
I see nothing but disapointment...
I've left him down, time after time, after time...

I can't help myself but to try to take away this pain.
He doesn't understand that...
Nor do I want him to!
That would mean he has felt what I feel.
I cannot want that!

I do not want him to know how it feels...
To not need any water, to feel like you're drowning...
Drowning inside yourself...
To wish for your body to drop dead
So that it will, finally, be on the outside
As it has been on the inside, for so long...

He wants to love me...
But I cannot allow it...
I just can't!
'Cause than...
I will kill him too...
I must only be responsible for my own Death...