The Donkey and the Elephant, or Bipartisan Politics

The donkeys and the elephants
Met on the field of war
To call a congress and parley
About who holds the floor

“Our side is right!”
They each did cry
And chant among their ranks
“Give us the power and control
Over the oil and the banks!”

“We know what’s best!”
They each did roar
And posture once again
“We know what’s best for us
And our conglomerated friends!”

“Let us have the military!
And impose martial law!
We know best which country
To send our next great war!”

The only time they’re unified
Is against some common foe
With which to scare the masses
And sway them to and fro

“Do we fight the Kremlin?
Or the Dragon of the East?
We’re not like them!
We’re civilized!
Not some savage beast!”

“Let’s not forget the homefront
With its War on Drugs
And SARS and AIDS and chickenpox
And common thieving thugs!”

Which only goes to show
They’re only happy when they fight
Over guns and G-d and oil
Long into every night

And health reform and taxes
And all things large and small
This detrimental dick-waving
Will surely end us all

It must be hard
When they can’t see
The forest for the trees
Or the virus that has stolen
Our democracy

It has made them blind
To the differences they lack
For though this beast
May have two heads
They share the selfsame back

The country and the people
They both claim to uphold
When in truth, the fact is
They’re the ones who stole

The rights, the freedoms,
And sensibilities
With their constant bickering
And inability to see-

So the donkey and the elephant
Heed the trumpet call
Let slip the dogs
And tread on those
Caught back against the wall