The Murdering Siren

The date is approaching
At a speed too rapid to comprehend
Inside the screams are singing
My bones break and my spine bends
The nightmarish melody is screeching
In my ears; as it sends

Wave patterns of pain 
To my brain

The days start with an ache
While the nights end with agony
The smiles I smile are fake
Trapping little weak me
For society's sake
I can't show the emotional wreck I should be

Rather drag myself through emotional barbwire
As the cuts beneath my sleeves burn like fire

The surge of rage is drowned by my sorrow
Which brings me to my knees unable to breathe 
I feel the piece missing; the void that can never be filled
I beg for forgiveness but no one answers
I don't deserve it; I don't deserve peace
The harm I unleash on myself
Is minimal punishment
When I deserve so much more
For the way I treated you

I was an immature teen with an axe to grind
But with your loss I lost all that I could find
Now I am a new piece of work
Better mature and you will never
Be able to meet the women I'd become
The little girl inside is still there screaming
"Mom! Mom! Mom!"