Haunted.

Postdated; circa 27th November, 2011

I don’t ever want to fall in love again…

The thought of it happening terrifies me, leaving me shaken to the core. I always blog about some new fling I’m seeing & about how they might just be my next great love. Than it hits me, fuck the euphoria of falling. They might be there to catch you but eventually they will let you slip. And all that you had known will come crashing down.

And fuck, it hurts so fucking much. It changes you, nothing is ever the same. YOU are never the same.

This post isn’t about being heartbroken or jaded, nor is it a dig towards my ex. This post is my fragmented fucking heart grasping at the concept of ever being strong enough to harbour the capacity of love. I don’t ever want to wake up again, to find that the one I gave my heart too has given it back. Cos once you give your heart away… It’s never ever truly yours again.