Her Dismay

Am I dreaming or have I gone insane
lying here on this cold hard ground
bound and chained I'm a slave to your soul
suffering in pain my essence drained
heart torn from my chest
I found a new way to bleed
I can feel you looking directly and
fixedly with a wide-eyed gaze
staring at me as though
you can read my mind
unaware and surrounded
by this all consuming darkness
not meant to see the light of day
from this day forth your prisoner
my days spent in emptiness
my nights spent wondering
and waiting for darkness
to end my dismay
how long will I have
to live in shades of gray
until my existence completely
fades me away to a sea of nothingness
drowning in my despair trying to swim
back to the top, but when I think it
is in my grasp...just a few more feet
a hand greets me to push me
back under my mind in a plunder
once again the devil has his feat
this time I can't beat him
my mind lingers and ponders
did I not used to be happy?
did I not used to believe in you?