Submissions by blocat
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Comedy writer and also write serious stuff from the heart when I'm in the mood. Without humour life has no real balance and we take ourselves too seriously. I use humour as armour against the slings and arrows of outrageous circumstance. ;-)
ANGER POEM
Published
22nd Aug 2016 12:14pm
22nd Aug 2016 12:14pm
Blasted Innocence
Dedicated to the innocent child Omran Dageesh the little Syrian boy in the ambulance.
Little boy in ambulance his brother dead
Covered in blood
Puts hand to head
It comes away red
As his innocence is bled
Doesn't understand the helping hand
Confused, bemused
Covered in dirt, badly hurt
Too shocked even to cry
He doesn't know why
Neither do I
Little boy in ambulance his brother dead
Covered in blood
Puts hand to head
It comes away red
As his innocence is bled
Doesn't understand the helping hand
Confused, bemused
Covered in dirt, badly hurt
Too shocked even to cry
He doesn't know why
Neither do I
670 reads
2 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
20th Jul 2016 11:06am
20th Jul 2016 11:06am
In Praise of Lies
We are all abject liars. Yes, you too
It simply won’t do to be anything other
And me, too, through and through
We despise lies and liars. True?
Yet lies are needed every day
We re-lie on lies. No other way
Essential to our everyday survival
Wife: ‘how do you like my new hairdo?’
You: ‘that’s you to your boots, it really suits
Frames your face, sets off your eyes.’
Thinks: It stinks, set all a-tilt
Looks like something a crow built
‘It looks really expensive’
She (Defensive)‘Bargain honey, just ninety bucks’
(It...
It simply won’t do to be anything other
And me, too, through and through
We despise lies and liars. True?
Yet lies are needed every day
We re-lie on lies. No other way
Essential to our everyday survival
Wife: ‘how do you like my new hairdo?’
You: ‘that’s you to your boots, it really suits
Frames your face, sets off your eyes.’
Thinks: It stinks, set all a-tilt
Looks like something a crow built
‘It looks really expensive’
She (Defensive)‘Bargain honey, just ninety bucks’
(It...
700 reads
5 Comments
STORY POEM
Published
11th Jul 2016 9:39pm
11th Jul 2016 9:39pm
Half Way up a Rhubarb Tree
Half way up a rhubarb tree in the mountains of Brazil
I met a gorilla in sunglasses who said he was trying to chill
I said my word gorilla sir you’re a long, long way from home
He said ‘Yes sir I am on holiday piss off, leave me alone’
So I wandered down the mountain side and found a lava lake
I dipped my tootsies into it boy what a big mistake
For it was scorching hot you see and ruined my painted nails
And so I sang a lullaby to a school of flying whales
Though I did my best to soothe them they instantly took fright
And soared off up a waterfall...
I met a gorilla in sunglasses who said he was trying to chill
I said my word gorilla sir you’re a long, long way from home
He said ‘Yes sir I am on holiday piss off, leave me alone’
So I wandered down the mountain side and found a lava lake
I dipped my tootsies into it boy what a big mistake
For it was scorching hot you see and ruined my painted nails
And so I sang a lullaby to a school of flying whales
Though I did my best to soothe them they instantly took fright
And soared off up a waterfall...
#animals
#narrative
#funny #dragons
#funny #dragons
659 reads
1 Comment
STORY POEM
Published
7th Jul 2016 9:35am
7th Jul 2016 9:35am
Wolf Whistles
She sashays past the building site
Skirt short, blouse tight
Wolf whistles she doesn’t mind
But there’s always one you’ll find
Who always goes way over the top
Who just doesn’t know when it’s time to stop
Then one morning her eyes flash a warning
He fails to see it starts pawing and fawning
Swift chop to the neck lays him low
Followed up by an ego blow
She rips down his jeans ‘so what colour are yours?
Mine don’t have colour I’m not wearing drawers’
She rips off his Tee shirt ‘now Show us your tits’
His mate are all...
Skirt short, blouse tight
Wolf whistles she doesn’t mind
But there’s always one you’ll find
Who always goes way over the top
Who just doesn’t know when it’s time to stop
Then one morning her eyes flash a warning
He fails to see it starts pawing and fawning
Swift chop to the neck lays him low
Followed up by an ego blow
She rips down his jeans ‘so what colour are yours?
Mine don’t have colour I’m not wearing drawers’
She rips off his Tee shirt ‘now Show us your tits’
His mate are all...
664 reads
2 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
5th Jul 2016 8:04pm
5th Jul 2016 8:04pm
Myrtle The Wall-Eyed Witch
Myrtle would hurtle upon her broom
Round and round her living room
Knocking pictures off the wall
Her eyesight wasn't good at all
Myrtle was a cross eyed witch
With casting spells there was a hitch
Her wand was crooked as her sight
So her magic rarely did go right
The preacher called her a nasty name
‘Right’ said she ‘I’ll fix your game ‘
She drew out her witchy wand
To blast him into the village pond
Alas she missed and hit a horse
In the dangly bits (Of course) ...
Round and round her living room
Knocking pictures off the wall
Her eyesight wasn't good at all
Myrtle was a cross eyed witch
With casting spells there was a hitch
Her wand was crooked as her sight
So her magic rarely did go right
The preacher called her a nasty name
‘Right’ said she ‘I’ll fix your game ‘
She drew out her witchy wand
To blast him into the village pond
Alas she missed and hit a horse
In the dangly bits (Of course) ...
680 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
28th Jun 2016 00:28am
28th Jun 2016 00:28am
My Mistake
At a distance through dawn mist
A rolled up umbrella
Resembles a rifle
Sorry mate
Sorry
A rolled up umbrella
Resembles a rifle
Sorry mate
Sorry
541 reads
2 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
26th Jun 2016 5:13pm
26th Jun 2016 5:13pm
Forward Thirty (A Diary)
Forward Thirty is an imaginary scenario of the future EU. It is not aimed at any group religious or otherwise. It's simply a dream of a possibility.
Today is the thirtieth anniversary of the UK leaving us. Oh woeful day! My grandfather still weeps at the memory. Of course I wasn't born then so I've never known anything different. Grandfather said we used to be Christians but since the Muslims took over the EU parliament it’s best to be Muslim. Oh I know we’re not forced to be yet but if I want a job I have to wear the hijab and use my Muslim name of Rihana even though I was born...
Today is the thirtieth anniversary of the UK leaving us. Oh woeful day! My grandfather still weeps at the memory. Of course I wasn't born then so I've never known anything different. Grandfather said we used to be Christians but since the Muslims took over the EU parliament it’s best to be Muslim. Oh I know we’re not forced to be yet but if I want a job I have to wear the hijab and use my Muslim name of Rihana even though I was born...
638 reads
2 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
22nd Jun 2016 3:18pm
22nd Jun 2016 3:18pm
Euro Cup Final Ticket (Free offer)
Football (Soccer in the USA) has the European championship happening right now.
I applied for a ticket months ago
Never dreaming I’d get in
But I was lucky don’t you know
Oh boy that was a win
The football Euro finals match
To watch the champions play
But I’d forgot just one small catch
It’s on my wedding day
I'm sorry but I just can’t go
So to take my place for free
Quickly then let me know
You can go instead of me
It’s at St Andrews in Lever Street
Be there at half past two
She’s...
I applied for a ticket months ago
Never dreaming I’d get in
But I was lucky don’t you know
Oh boy that was a win
The football Euro finals match
To watch the champions play
But I’d forgot just one small catch
It’s on my wedding day
I'm sorry but I just can’t go
So to take my place for free
Quickly then let me know
You can go instead of me
It’s at St Andrews in Lever Street
Be there at half past two
She’s...
509 reads
0 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
22nd Jun 2016 3:13pm
22nd Jun 2016 3:13pm
Doggy Style
I helped a lame dog over a stile
A kindly act I thought
I never had an inkling
Of the trouble I had bought
For once upon the other side
The mongrel he did stand
He turned around immediately
And bit my helping hand
(Every good deed you commit carries within it the seeds of its own punishment) Anon
A kindly act I thought
I never had an inkling
Of the trouble I had bought
For once upon the other side
The mongrel he did stand
He turned around immediately
And bit my helping hand
(Every good deed you commit carries within it the seeds of its own punishment) Anon
710 reads
4 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
13th Jun 2016 9:24pm
13th Jun 2016 9:24pm
In Praise of (F)Art
If I say your poetry’s great
Please don’t reciprocate
Just say what you think
It won’t cause a stink
I will not shout or berate
If you find my wit makes you weary
If you think my poems are dreary
If my purple prose
Gets right up your nose
Then say so no need to be leery
An honest opinion’s worth much
Though it feels like a kick in the crotch
If given false praise
I’ll ne’re mend my ways
And be lost and way out of touch
Then next time we meet
In hallway or street
Say hi and ask how it goes
In answer to that...
Please don’t reciprocate
Just say what you think
It won’t cause a stink
I will not shout or berate
If you find my wit makes you weary
If you think my poems are dreary
If my purple prose
Gets right up your nose
Then say so no need to be leery
An honest opinion’s worth much
Though it feels like a kick in the crotch
If given false praise
I’ll ne’re mend my ways
And be lost and way out of touch
Then next time we meet
In hallway or street
Say hi and ask how it goes
In answer to that...
569 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by blocat
