The Bus Pass Buccaneers

 
Now that I am far too old for the Foreskin Fusiliers,
I’ve stopped driving tanks and joined the ranks of the bus-pass buccaneers,
Now that all our travel upon bus and train is free
We use it to go shagging the Buccaneers and me

There's a spinster up in Spalding, getting on in years,
Who beds me with her sister a pair of lively dears,
They bonk me 'til my Willie is limp and very soft,
But then next day a bit of foreplay and once more it’s aloft,

There's a widow up in Warrington a wicked, wanton wench,
Who took me to the park one day and screwed me on a bench,
The passers-by were quite amused to see us bonking there,
My wrinkled arse a-pounding atop her silver pubic hair.

The parson walked right past us on his way back from the shops,
Trust that snivelling bastard to go and call the cops,
The coppers who attended where very much impressed,
They'd never had such pleasure from making an arrest,

The lady judge who tried the case could not believe her ears,
What, bonking on a park bench? At their advancing years?
I had to take my dick out to prove it still gets hard,
So I swallowed a Viagra pill and rubbed it with some lard.

It grew so stout once it was out just like a big cucumber,
The lady judge said “bless my soul! Do we have his telephone number?”
She let us off just with a fine though she made it very plain,
That we’d go straight to prison if we were caught at it again.

The judge was a proper lady a staunch member of the church,
She does all sorts of charity work in sexual research,
She phoned me at the weekend wanting sex there in the park,
But because of her position we’d have to wait ‘til dark.

My word I really loved it for the judge was full of lust
We went at it with such vigour the park bench nearly bust
So now we meet there weekly upon a Thursday night,
Her husband shags his mistress then so everything’s alright

We are a gang of lusty lads who screw by night and day
And we hope to have a stiffly on when we finally pass away,
So if you see a pensioner on a bus grinning from ear to ear
You can bet your bottom dollar he’s a bus pass buccaneer