Poetry competition CLOSED 25th August 2013 1:47am
WINNER
LobodeSanPedro
LobodeSanPedro
RUNNER-UP:
case28
Page:
Mischief Reversed
Anonymous
DID I DO THAT?
Went out on a blind date
One look at him was immediate hate
He was tall and dark
Good looking as sin
The glint in his eye
Made me think
Why is he still here
Why did he not run
One look at me
Plain Jane
Young intern could pretend
He had to go
But no
He invited me over
To see his etchings
What a condominium he had
His parents must have been loaded
To put him through school
He even had a bar
Made me a drink
Something in the look
On his face
Made me worry
Who had access
To the best knockout drugs
Why a doctor of course
My mother was determined
That a Doctor I should find
To raise my status
Which was really to say
Her status would be higher one day
So I took the drink
Being the klutz I am
Spilled it all over me
Then surprise
Knocked over several bottles
He was so busy cleaning up
He did not notice me filling his cup
Of coffee sitting there nonchalantly
After I knocked over some furniture
Gave catnip to the cat
Passed out on the bathroom floor
Or so he thought
He took me home
I phoned him next day
Did not answer the phone
But heard from the girl
Who fixed us up
What on earth did you put in his cup?
http://www.sdakotabirds.com/feathers_and_folly/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/horse_race_start.jpg
Pick Six Nix
We were all true players, born and bred horsemen who knew the game
Spoke easy with jocks and bugs, trainers and owners, all knew my crew by name
The play was as simple and complicated as they come at the track
Pick six winners in a row and take one point two million back
We'd come close a few times but never the ultimate score
That bitch Lady Luck was proving to be an elusive whore
But on this day at Belmont we wouldn't be crossed
Over four days of prep work to show the Lady who's boss
In the fifth my crew circled two roan fillies to play
In sixth the favorite and two long shots that could pay
The seventh was one lone shot on a trainer's tip
Race 8 we bet House Doctor, and Dine Then Skip
Nine was wide open so we had to cover five
Four horses in the tenth, if the ticket was still alive
2 x 3 x 1 x 2 x 5 x 4 times two dollars, we calculated the cost
$480 split five ways to minimize a loss
But we weren't thinking about losing because this was our time
A cool mill baby for all those years on the grind
First three races went according to plan
Jocks scored with their mounts all well in hand
Race 8 wasn't so easy, almost to close to call
If the jockey had blown it we'd had been waiting for him at his stall
In the ninth our 30-1 shot all but sealed the deal
We were five for five baby, the dream was looking real
I asked Money Mike
You got the ticket right? This is a lock?
He patted his breast pocket and said,
Don't worry brotha, solid as a rock
Race ten was simply a God send for us
Two of our horses finished one and two in a furious rush
Money Mike and Kelly went to check the payout on the ticket
To see if we could avoid some taxes once we split it
Kelly came back and asked,
Where's Mike
From the blood in his eyes this wasn't gonna be something I'd like
He said he'd talked to a teller and no winning ticket had been bought
The 1.2 would roll over till tomorrow, again to be sought
Mike had played us for 500 bucks
No faith in our system, four ass out smucks
We thought we'd pulled off the perfect legal crime
But once again it wasn't our time
And yes, I still play the game
for that 1.2 mill that should be mine
Pick Six Nix
We were all true players, born and bred horsemen who knew the game
Spoke easy with jocks and bugs, trainers and owners, all knew my crew by name
The play was as simple and complicated as they come at the track
Pick six winners in a row and take one point two million back
We'd come close a few times but never the ultimate score
That bitch Lady Luck was proving to be an elusive whore
But on this day at Belmont we wouldn't be crossed
Over four days of prep work to show the Lady who's boss
In the fifth my crew circled two roan fillies to play
In sixth the favorite and two long shots that could pay
The seventh was one lone shot on a trainer's tip
Race 8 we bet House Doctor, and Dine Then Skip
Nine was wide open so we had to cover five
Four horses in the tenth, if the ticket was still alive
2 x 3 x 1 x 2 x 5 x 4 times two dollars, we calculated the cost
$480 split five ways to minimize a loss
But we weren't thinking about losing because this was our time
A cool mill baby for all those years on the grind
First three races went according to plan
Jocks scored with their mounts all well in hand
Race 8 wasn't so easy, almost to close to call
If the jockey had blown it we'd had been waiting for him at his stall
In the ninth our 30-1 shot all but sealed the deal
We were five for five baby, the dream was looking real
I asked Money Mike
You got the ticket right? This is a lock?
He patted his breast pocket and said,
Don't worry brotha, solid as a rock
Race ten was simply a God send for us
Two of our horses finished one and two in a furious rush
Money Mike and Kelly went to check the payout on the ticket
To see if we could avoid some taxes once we split it
Kelly came back and asked,
Where's Mike
From the blood in his eyes this wasn't gonna be something I'd like
He said he'd talked to a teller and no winning ticket had been bought
The 1.2 would roll over till tomorrow, again to be sought
Mike had played us for 500 bucks
No faith in our system, four ass out smucks
We thought we'd pulled off the perfect legal crime
But once again it wasn't our time
And yes, I still play the game
for that 1.2 mill that should be mine
Magic Man Haiku
Make it disappear
My little sister pleaded
Popped quarter in mouth
Swallowed to mid throat
Ta da! Not under my tongue
She clapped hard, spellbound
Coughed, so it would come
But it got stuck, down it went
Drink this Castor-oil!!!
A friend once cursed me
He said I wasn't worth shit
Quarter more than you.
Make it disappear
My little sister pleaded
Popped quarter in mouth
Swallowed to mid throat
Ta da! Not under my tongue
She clapped hard, spellbound
Coughed, so it would come
But it got stuck, down it went
Drink this Castor-oil!!!
A friend once cursed me
He said I wasn't worth shit
Quarter more than you.
At the bar with the lads
Round of shots
Lick, sip, suck
The plan
Find Betty
Get her knickers in a knot
Slapped face
The lads all laugh
Next round.
The last seconds I'm remembering
Is polishing up a very pretty Betty
On the dance floor
To the funky tune
"My Sherona."
This talented little Betty whispered to me
Kind of yelling into my auricle
So I could make her out over the pumping.
"I’ll grant thee three wishes."
Well, what a very naďve offering to make
To a seriously wicked whippet like myself.
"Okay! All right! Very good then!"
I yelled back kind of nicely, but not too keen.
"I wish I had KILLER looks,"
I wished once.
"I wish I had a very fast car,"
I wished twice.
"I wish I had bags full of cash,"
I wished three times.
"But what I really wish for is to have my way
With you my pretty Betty, good and…"
Whau tang!
Just like that!
I was in a speeding
Supercharged muscle car
With the police in my rear view mirror
Shooting and a screaming
Just like that!
Money started flying around inside the car
Spewing from three bursting bags of cash
On the back seat of the vehicle.
Just like that!
I caught a glimpse of my reflection…
What the hell?
My face had not changed!
As strange as my situation was,
I felt cheated,
I felt ripped off,
That somehow the twisted pretty Betty
Had screwed up my wishes
And also denied me of a third wish.
Or had she?
Whau Tang!
Just like that!
A newspaper appeared
On the passenger seat next to me
My mug shot was big and beautiful
Slapped on the front page
With two black words
Above and beneath...
WANTED KILLER!
Written by Alexander Case
