Who you are

I want a poem that can show who you are. The pain you have lived through, anything.

Hold Most Dear

I can see myself
through my own eyes
a shadow cast
in dimming light
a mirror reflecting
back at me
and I don't like what I see
pain induced
sleep deprived
this is no way
to live this life
I shuffle through
the day to day
lost and trying
to find my way
as I slip
and sometimes fall
wondering if it's
worth it all
the things in life I hold most dear
are infact
what keeps me here
with no self love
to hold on to
I wake each day
and suffer through
it is not for me for which I fight
the pain
and sorrow
of this life
but for the ones
who think I'm sane
I must appear
to be okay
they have to know
that somethings wrong
been in this muck
for way too long
but if they knew
the thoughts I think
the dread I feel
controlling me
the endless dark
devoid of light
the daily struggle
and constant fight
how would they react
to read my thoughts
and really know
what was going on
would they help
or let me be
to fight this fight
inside of me
I try and try
to fight this fight
while all the while
in search of light
from day to day
I never know
if the light is
going to show
all i know is there has to be
some way out of this for me
the temptations of
a broken girl
not to fall by my own hand
still sane enough
to realize
and strong enough
to stand and fight
but in my worn
and weakened state
how much more before
I break
to my eyes
the darkness spills
and to this thread
I hold on still
what I know is I'm still here
because of what
I hold most dear

You did not write this. I'm sorry your disqualified and reported

why
they cuss and scream
"your the devil'
I laugh and smile because one day youll be damed to hell
You sealed your fate
When you took them away
Fuck you god is all i can say
You made me watch them die
And your just set back and watched me cry
So i say bye bye and hope to cry
I ready to go to hell and meet my real dad....

Sit back and listen
As I share the story
Of a drug addict on her own
Please don't feel sorry
Way back when, about 5th grade
She met a boy
Twice her age
He wouldn't listen
When she said no
Kept pushing for more
Undoing her clothes
Two years later
He's finally gone
Now there's a new guy
That still treats her wrong
He threatens her life
Wants them to be a secret
She feels worthless
His sexual assault is repeated
By the time she's in highschool
Cuts cover her arms
Her boyfriend raped her
Her body's all scars
She starts smoking pot
It takes the pain away
Looking for new highs
Pills, Alcohol, generic Cocaine
Anything not to feel
Drawing deeper into herself
When her girlfriend dies
She's all alone
Life is a living hell
Her parents don't understand
They just want their girl back
She just wants to die
And doesn't care of the blowback
She's desperate for some help
And can't trust anyone
She loads up on the drugs
Cos being high is so much fun

Process Of Elimination

Proposals of lust that you wouldn't believe
The cause and effect of the lives that we lead
I’m so desperately inclined to adore and ignore
Simple games of hit and miss, just seem like a bore
My wandering gaze caught by your empty stare
You haven’t said a word, yet I still know you’re scared
Hiding from eyes that can’t seem to see
You’re just Fearful of change and the need to be
Longing to reclaim the love that made you blind
The urge to feed your one track mind
The world will never accept your intentions
Destined to slave by their false ideals and pretensions
Is it safe to say that we’ll never find the meaning?
To face tomorrow smiling and breathing
I gave up on worth and the friends that could relate
Threw away my life for this twisted fate
Always thought I was the one who was betrayed
I just wish my heart was accurately portrayed
I’m a lover of sadistic beginnings
A sucker for tragic endings..

Untitled

There's static in my brain
but it keeps me warm and semi-sane
I keep my mind polluted
because I wash it in acid rain
It doesn't make sense to change
not when everything else seems to stay the same
When I die I hope they make me a ghost
so I can dance on my own grave

On Tuesday the rent was due
but I didnt have money so I sold my shoes
Now I'm hungry and barefoot
yet somehow in a good mood
I sold my pancreas too
now I've really got nothing to lose
Except my liver
so pour me another shot or two

Here's one I haven't posted yet because I'm still editing it.

  ME
I'm the kind of person who does anything I want to--
And still feels crippled by what happened long ago.
I'm the kind of person who looks inside his window--
And still manages to feel all alone.
No one understands me... they don't even try--
I can't really blame them, though,
With all my contradictions, it's no wonder why--
I have to fight for air, so...

Funny how a man like me--pacifist as a whole--
That I should have to fight for something as trivial as that.
Funny that I should fall into this hellhole,
(And) That I, of heights, should have a fear so fat.
It's a long way down, and I just can't look--
But I can't get out those three stupid words--
It's so hard, my hearts being cooked--
But I so love that stupid girl!

She offered to help me out of here,
But she's HIS now, and HE threw me down this hole,
She fanned the flames of my fears,
But how can I forget I loved her so?
And why didn't I let her?
I shouldn't have let her go,
And then he abandoned her...
I shouldn't have hurt her so.
And it's all my fault--

But that's just like me.

CeCeSkitzo said:You did not write this. I'm sorry your disqualified and reported


you have Proof?

CeCeSkitzo said:You did not write this. I'm sorry your disqualified and reported


you wanna cite the reference?

"ME"

As a boy I was damaged goods
a childhood of pain endured

As a teen
i pointed my finger at everyone but the face in the mirror

At twenty it took a hurricane to change my perspective of life

At twenty-two anxiety brought me to my knees

now i live life day by day with a smile on my face
if it wasn't for pain there'd be no happy place...

johnrot said:[quote-194363-CeCeSkitzo]You did not write this. I'm sorry your disqualified and reported


you wanna cite the reference?[/quote]

Yes, please do.

she slammed her 1(one) minute after it was posted

"Del"

The wanderer..
The forgotten.
The Forgoer.
Surprised I made it thus far.

Now in the middle of my ages.
I walk with a bad foot and leg
and have no car.

I live in a failing Gov. regime.
Driven by the futility of senseless schemes.

All I have is my Dad as the last of my family.
The rest has scattered to the winds after the
death of my mother who was ailing.  

I love words and art and great meals when I have the chance.
My dreams beneath my slumber have been shattered and crushed.
By the small bits of what I now call my meager finance.

Daydreams when I nod off and shut my eyes entertain.
A secondary methodology far better than actual cocaine.

This dirty corrupt small town I live in I venture about when I feel brave.
The souls of so many corrupt I endure have tested the mettle of my limits.
And the edges of my toleration I would even save.  

Poet


i am the taker and leaver
the ugly one
the broken son
the drunk
the sailor
the sad and empty remains of what a man can be

my true loves are the dark places
the sea
and any drug that will take me there

my need for freedom is my cage
so in love with freedom
that even the hint of love
that most terrible trap of all
has me burning whatever I need too
and when it comes to burning
baby I’m the one

I’m the best writer you never heard of
the most sideways back-road fuel-burner
and two-words-a-day closed book
you never read

can lay it on like syrup
when I need you
and when I don’t you’ll know
‘cos I’ll be gone

look for me in the gutter
wearing good shoes and the blues
dead already
and chose it like that

a waste
a boil

filled with love
but not a crack to see it
and not the will to be it