Heartbreak

Just a cigarette

Sometimes all you can do is smile
When hell is a six letter word
And sex mirrors the stench of stale malt liquor
Angels have a funny way of rescuing the worthy
A shame us of the stolen innocence remain disserted

Lips are nude before carnal desires expose the shame of Eve
Succulent and scarred from years of barred teeth and chapped winds
A kiss can relinquish the tangible benefits of affliction
To personal when lust devours at a need for pleasure in disgust
And the once desired affection becomes a penitentiary of revulsion

Sometimes all you can do is smile
When heaven is a four letter word
And love mirrors the piss stains of incoherency
Demons have a funny way of consoling the broken
An honor us of the forgotten are cherished as pieces of wanted trash

A body is a canvas of regret and experience
Etched with stitches of nostalgia as passion is deprived then exploited
As cum residue begins to imprint like tattoo mistakes
And the soul is pierced with victimized acts of disfigurement
For me, just a cigarette holds more endearment than any godless lover

She was love we begin
She started as a virgin
She pull me wit her beauty
She hypnotized me wit poetry
She mesmerized me body
She [/b]begin 2 fall 4 me
She stole my mind mentally
She took my body physically
She gain my heart emotionally
She control me as a whole sexually
She bless me wit her virginity
She belong 2 me
She was in love
She is my angel from above
She heard I was bad
She became sad
She was mad
She cried
She want 2 die
She told me goodbye
She tried
She need me
She return 4 a repeat
She was without me
She was incomplete
She came back
She gave me her back
She got her heart cracked
She felt dat heart getting attacked
She got away
She didn't stay
She prayed
She forgaved
She was thru with it
She is thru with my bullshit
She ready 2 have fun
She said we're done
She still my friend
She is love wen we end

Ultimate Sacrifice

Your name popped up on my news feed today
When I saw the 'RIP' next to it, I couldn't quite find any words to say.
An Army soldier fighting in Afghanistan, dead at the age of twenty-one
You left behind a lot of sad people, including your wife and six month old son.
I know in our work, death can occur at anytime, and anywhere
But that doesn't mean that it's easier to deal with, or that I think it's fair.
I've dealt with death all my life, but military deaths hurt me more
For we share a unique bond, whether Air Force, Army, Navy, or Marine Corps.
The color of our camo was different, but we both swore the same oath
You were my friend and a military brother, and now I've lost you as both.
But you died honorably by giving the ultimate sacrifice in the war that you fought
You're guarding Heaven's gates now; if you can, be a pal and try to save me a spot.
You have fulfilled your duty here, so go now, and say hi to my sister and your mother
We have the watch now...may you forever Rest in Peace brother.

Drowning in Death

Here we are sitting in the quiet night
I look at you under the soft moonlight.
Teardrops slowly fall from your beautiful eyes
And the sight of them makes me wanna die.
I know there were things that got in our way
There were times we hurt each other with what we had to say.
But I’m here now to say that everything will be okay
All our pain will someday go away.
We hug in a tight loving embrace
But then I see the look on your angelic face.
And realize that through your hope and love the pain is still there
So I wrap my arms tighter around you to show I still truly care.
I kiss your tears away and hold you close for a while
When I look at you again your frown turns into a smile.
As I pull you in for a loving kiss
Your face turns red, something I’ve come to miss.
Suddenly I’m alone, and when I look around you’re gone
I sit up in bed, heart racing and eyes blurry, it’s almost dawn.
From my eyes flows a new steady stream
As I realize that once again, it was only a sad dream.
Sobs rack my broken body, for you’re still not with me
I question your motives, is this really how it had to be?
Were you really that unhappy, was it really that bad
Couldn’t you instead focus on the special love that we had?
You’ll never know how bad you hurt me, you changed my very life
You can’t see what I’m trying to tell you, that I can’t put up with this strife.
You might as well be squeezing the trigger, or pulling the blade
Just accept it now, this is the decision that I have made.
I told you what would happen if I ever lost you, but you didn’t believe me
So now because of you there’s a dead body floating out at sea.
You didn’t wanna talk or listen to me, and now your old lover is dead
I hope you never forget what you did and the guilt never leaves your head.
When you start getting sad again, there’s something I want you to know
YOU did this and caused this shit, YOU’RE the one who let ME go.
And if you decide to visit my gravesite, remember this hun
I still won’t forgive you for all the shit you’ve done.
Because even in death I remember the hurt and the stabbing pain
I remember the feeling of being rejected and left alone in the freezing rain.
So go ahead and try to get rid of the guilt, the regret, the sorrow
But it's still going to be there when you wake up tomorrow.
You should’ve been honest, but instead you lied
And now you’re the reason that I committed suicide.
Go now with this knowledge, and live your sad life day by day
I’ve shared my heart, there’s nothing left for me to say.
I finally understand that the pain and hurt will never cease
And now because of you i lay under a stone that says “Rest In Peace”.

Barron Eclipse

His lips were like poison
just one kiss too much
his skin was like fire
I just couldn't touch.

Just one kiss too much
I must tear away
I just couldn't touch
my heart fell astray.

I must tear away
I have to hold on
my heart fell astray
with his hypnotic song.

I have to hold on
its so hard to try
with his hypnotic song
our worlds collide.

It's so hard to try
with each dying note
our worlds collide
and together we float.

With each dying note
my pain lingers on
and together we float
to you I am drawn.

My pain lingers on
so I must say
to you I am drawn
but I can not stay.

So I must say
with a hole in my heart
I can not stay
and we move apart.

With a hole in my heart
my love still is strong
and we move apart
I start missing your song.

My love still is strong
this can not be
I start missing your song
you start missing me.

This can not be
each word a lie
you start missing me
as I start to cry.

Each word a lie
from his poison lips
as I start to cry
on this Barren Eclipse.

Thoughts About You


The thoughts of you still haunts me here.
Your loving words when things were clear.
You'd embrace me openly with love in your heart.
Until the days when we drifted apart.

I still hear your sighs and your soft purring moans.
I hear your laughter and your pleasured tones.
Your love, your warmth, your sweet loving kiss.
Your look, your smile and other things like this.

My days have grown lonelier, since you've journeyed away.
But know that I dream of you every single day.
Why did we drift apart? Only God can tell us why.
All I know is that when you left; I couldn't even cry.

I wish you well on your journey and wish you love in life.
Finding the one to give you love without the pain and strife.
I ask not a thing from you, just be happy and free.
Don't look back, don't be sad, just forget about me.

Ghost

Leaving behind only darkness
fading with the sun
I'll always feel the same
though you say I'm not the one.

Your voice speaks my name
I close my eyes
to feel the shame
and believe the lies.

That's when I finally see
it's your ghost that's haunting me
chilling me to the bone
and when your done
I'm left alone.

Sands of time shifting  
Folding inside-out
Each moment splits
Tightens to Knots
Then to naught
Take my will from me
Now longer my choice
So pain is released
For these words
I should be deceased

In Dark wonder I am purely erased  
Bleed for god and weep for Satan
It has been forever but not long enough
Find me peace then wrench it out with grief
I would banish your existence from this Earth
Brain smashed by quilt
Empty with no worth

I see no need too breath
I would bring your death for my relief
So I can walk further into the depth of dark
And not return to time through merry death
Adue apart
Only you would be my Saviour
Should you appear again by my side
I will always be
No existence otherwise
......

Breaking

The heartbreak of never
knowing why
you left forever
Never knowing what
broke your heart
Never Knowing when
your love turn
to ashes in your mind
Never shall I know how
to bring you back
to this hour, this now
of needing and desire:
You just left.

Sleeping in this bed without you
Reminds me of how empty the world can be
My loneliness is hopeless,true
My worried heart will no peace see

Last night I sat alone in the garden
Remember,it used to be our favorite spot
Until you mind was hardened
It's an understatement to say I'm hurt

My nights are cold,boring and lonely
Without your voice my sweetest lullaby
I'm stressed,sleepless and unhappy
And sometimes I cry

But why cry when the damage's already done?
I can tell from the vivid expression in your note
Everything I loved about you is gone
Apart from the sweet fragrance you left on my cloth

All the good things pass

A little over three years ago
when things were really hard
and I felt like I could die at any moment
of anxiety, heartache and boredom
trapped 3,000 miles away from home
with my mother and sister
No jobs, almost on the streets
I got up the nerve to do what I was told not to do  
And that was pick up the phone and call you  
 
Except you weren't who I was expecting
I was too scared to call my father  
so I tried to call my grandparents first
First try, got grandma, terrified
said "Wrong number." and hung up
I immediately called back again
and I got you, I thought you were my grandpa
But it turned out that you were my Uncle Don,
grandpa had passed away years ago
 
In the last several years since we moved back home
to a new family, complete strangers
scared of new beginnings and feeling like outcasts
You were the one, you and your wife
that made us feel most welcome
Where our father failed us and lost interest
you were always there for me  
coming to visit, including me in everything  
that happened to bring you into town  
 
You encouraged me in my education
dragged me around to meet kids my age  
(never liked those kids, but hey, they were highschoolers)
You would have helped me whenever needed
You were smart and diplomatic  
with a passion for surfing, skiing, and camping
you loved your wife, and kids  
and showed me a love I had never had
that of a father who loved me
though you were just my uncle  
 
So when your son Eric called me this morning
I was confused, woken up from dreamland  
not used to his voice and wondering who he was
only for a second, until he said he had bad news
That you had died last night while skiing
And I needed to get a hold of my sister to tell her
 
There is no way to describe the way I am feeling right now
There is nothing I could ever compare this to
To have something so wonderful in your life
Still so new, but also familiar  
taken away,  
I just don't know what words could be said  
to convey my thoughts  
other than I am really heartbroken  
that I will never get to see you again

Sleeping in this bed without you
Reminds me of how empty the world can be
My loneliness is hopeless,true
My worried heart will no peace see

Last night I sat alone in the garden
Remember,it used to be our favorite spot
Until you mind was hardened
It's an understatement to say I'm hurt

My nights are cold,boring and lonely
Without your voice my sweetest lullaby
I'm stressed,sleepless and unhappy
And sometimes I cry

But why cry when the damage's already done?
I can tell from the vivid expression in your note
Everything I loved about you is gone
Apart from the sweet fragrance you left on my cloth

No goodbyes for uncle dusty
No hug,no kisses,just a comprehensive letter
Of issues I'll deal with for the rest of my life
Issues of our love in vendetta

Gone forever gone
Laying on this concrete floor
We use to sing this song together
But not any more

Our love was built on a strong foundation
How did it come crashing?
To the point of eternal separation
I sit in tears lashing

Gone forever gone
In my garden,that flower once blossomed
But never again will I see your face
Bringing about my new craze

I once had a lover,a sister and a friend
Bound in love,happiness and companionship
But now its time to face the inevitable end
Subjecting me to a strong emotional hardship

Gone forever gone
With your earthly sojourn done
I miss your love,intimacy and friendship
And I'll forever mourn

Time has unveiled to me a terrible time
Death,you're the subject of my unhappy rhymes
How will I ever repay you for this crime?
You've taken the only thing that made sense in this meaningless life of mine

This is what HELL feels like...

Five more days to go,
And we'll be even. Two weeks in Hell.
I never thought it would hurt this bad,
Never in my wildest dreams,
Have I imagined to be this sad.
How can you move on,
After throwing my world to the whirlwinds?
How could you go
Breaking my heart, like that?
No matter how many times
The words come tumbling out,
And how many times I squeeze
Out the hate, and loathe from within
How can I deny, there was a time
I'd fallen in love.
The joke, the blame everything
Is finally on me now.
And still somehow,
Despite everything and everyone
Saying otherwise,
Stupid heart refuses to listen.
I was fine, I was doing fine.
Till you came back to say goodbye.
Everything buried, everything I thought
Wouldn't haunt me again,
Came back in an avalanche of memories...
How I wish I could turn back time,
And how you'd never would've stopped being mine.
I wonder why you did come back,
To put me through hell? Really?
I'm getting very comfortable here.
Fading away from life.