Poetry competition CLOSED 18th May 2012 8:15pm
WINNER
kriticool
kriticool
RUNNER-UP:
Vixenwings
Self harm - Once an addict always an addict
There isn't really any Happily Ever After
I’ve had it before had a happier mind
but I can’t quite remember when I fell out of line
small tinge of revenge now drunk on a binge
I’m trying to recover so pass that syringe
perhaps I’ll discover a long lost smile
provide some shelter keep it close for awhile
I'm again lying to myself and doing it with skill
truth is I’m evading what’s correct with what’s real
seeking on a search a way back to myself
to spin out of this chaos regain better health
to when deviance hadn’t taken control of my time
my iris went desirous and I ended up blind
so my smile went away along with my health
absent all love and drained was my wealth
I should’ve known better to except the seed
the one that sprouted that jealousy & greed
and what I did was not an honest mistake
because dishonest motives had created a fake
~o~
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
Lately.
It's fatal when you reach that moment
in a world in which you no longer exist.
The oils of people's faces blurring
like one of Munch's best nightmares,
completely oblivious to politics
or war,
or global warming
You simply don't care -
as long as there is silence,
and the only violence left is aimed at yourself.
You blame yourself over and over
for the fucked up mess you find yourself in.
You pray to God ... or whoever's listening,
for forgiveness at the bitterness of the situation
as you press down
and your heart quickens.
The world caves in on itself.
You've stood here a thousand times
on the edge of this cliff face,
loose rock from your step
dispersing into the caverns below...
and you become the God you fear.
The pen in which you rewrite history
lodged firmly in your shaking hand.
Jesus, you made me,
Jesus, please, please save me....
The gashes trickle to your finger tips,
following an ironic trace of life sustaining veins
to the scarlet splattered sand that now lays
next to your feet.
You sway with the weight of the world.
You never realised how small you could feel.
How far from your mind other people could be -
You throw your head back
to vomit, or scream, or both,
your heart in denial with your head,
your white shoes stained in shades of red
and a mind that was pronounced clinically dead.
Several years ago.
It's fatal when you reach that moment
in a world in which you no longer exist.
The oils of people's faces blurring
like one of Munch's best nightmares,
completely oblivious to politics
or war,
or global warming
You simply don't care -
as long as there is silence,
and the only violence left is aimed at yourself.
You blame yourself over and over
for the fucked up mess you find yourself in.
You pray to God ... or whoever's listening,
for forgiveness at the bitterness of the situation
as you press down
and your heart quickens.
The world caves in on itself.
You've stood here a thousand times
on the edge of this cliff face,
loose rock from your step
dispersing into the caverns below...
and you become the God you fear.
The pen in which you rewrite history
lodged firmly in your shaking hand.
Jesus, you made me,
Jesus, please, please save me....
The gashes trickle to your finger tips,
following an ironic trace of life sustaining veins
to the scarlet splattered sand that now lays
next to your feet.
You sway with the weight of the world.
You never realised how small you could feel.
How far from your mind other people could be -
You throw your head back
to vomit, or scream, or both,
your heart in denial with your head,
your white shoes stained in shades of red
and a mind that was pronounced clinically dead.
Several years ago.
This is an old poem
Trance
I lay throughout the night
In a reverie that I create
I wander through my thoughts
One by one they violate
The blade it seems to come to me
Without too much uncertainty
The walls shake around me
As I silently present what is pain to me
The blades power dominates but relieves
And drains the agony from inside
The tears fall so willingly
But the calm is the want that guides
Trance
I lay throughout the night
In a reverie that I create
I wander through my thoughts
One by one they violate
The blade it seems to come to me
Without too much uncertainty
The walls shake around me
As I silently present what is pain to me
The blades power dominates but relieves
And drains the agony from inside
The tears fall so willingly
But the calm is the want that guides
Pardon Me;
I pound my fists to my head
leave bruises
dark and red.
I gnaw on my lips until they're bloody
And then I lick them
And the sting feels funny.
I cut my wrists to sate my need
To draw out crimson
to watch myself bleed.
I choke myself to taste perfection
the touch of death,
his soothing infection.
I close my eyes and know this pain isn't enough,
but I scream at the voices inside
and tell them to shut up.
I'm one step closer to the devil's door
bleeding out bright red
and lying on the floor.
I'm two steps closer to salvation
but I'm only taking one
sitting in quiet calculation.
I'm three steps closer to you
and it kills me inside
that I can't do what you need me to do.
Pardon me as I turn my back and walk away,
but I just can't listen to anymore
of those hurtful things you say.
I'm a half step off the stool under my feet
with the noose around my neck,
my death of hanging will be bloodless and neat.
I pound my fists to my head
leave bruises
dark and red.
I gnaw on my lips until they're bloody
And then I lick them
And the sting feels funny.
I cut my wrists to sate my need
To draw out crimson
to watch myself bleed.
I choke myself to taste perfection
the touch of death,
his soothing infection.
I close my eyes and know this pain isn't enough,
but I scream at the voices inside
and tell them to shut up.
I'm one step closer to the devil's door
bleeding out bright red
and lying on the floor.
I'm two steps closer to salvation
but I'm only taking one
sitting in quiet calculation.
I'm three steps closer to you
and it kills me inside
that I can't do what you need me to do.
Pardon me as I turn my back and walk away,
but I just can't listen to anymore
of those hurtful things you say.
I'm a half step off the stool under my feet
with the noose around my neck,
my death of hanging will be bloodless and neat.
I'll draw a pretty picture..
A picture with a twist..
I draw it with a blade
I'll carve it on my wrist..
I'll etch in some lines..
Give it a little color..
By the time I am finished
All the pain is over..
Now I have a master piece
A picture painted red..
I put my heart into this
You can see its beating dread..
A picture with a twist..
I draw it with a blade
I'll carve it on my wrist..
I'll etch in some lines..
Give it a little color..
By the time I am finished
All the pain is over..
Now I have a master piece
A picture painted red..
I put my heart into this
You can see its beating dread..
Dark Red
"I'm gonna draw a picture,
a picture with a twist,
I'll draw it with a razor blade, <<<<<< COMMON QUOTE (:
I'll draw it on my wrist".
And when my soul bleeds out,
and my shirt is soaked and stained,
you can read me like a book,
you can see all of my pain.
Feel the dripping of my blood,
the thick red flow,
feel sadness gushing from my veins,
dark red and slow.
The razor sets my arm on fire,
the burning and the stinging,
but I push the blade deeper,
It stops the raucous singing.
Voices sing 'more, more, more'...
bleed dark red,
then my world starts spinning,
as they dance around my head.
They sing 'more, more, more'
bleed dark red,
I know they will not stop the singing,
until I bleed dark and dead.
I close my eyes and cry,
In the dark is where it starts,
where a finger is released
by the hand squeezing my heart.
When the voices go away,
that's when I open up my eyes,
Into a world of darkness,
where bleeding stops my cries.
After I bleed out,
I allow the cuts to seal,
though the scars seem to fade,
my insides never heal...
So that's when I draw a picture,
a picture with a twist,
I use a sharper razor blade,
on my other wrist.
"I'm gonna draw a picture,
a picture with a twist,
I'll draw it with a razor blade, <<<<<< COMMON QUOTE (:
I'll draw it on my wrist".
And when my soul bleeds out,
and my shirt is soaked and stained,
you can read me like a book,
you can see all of my pain.
Feel the dripping of my blood,
the thick red flow,
feel sadness gushing from my veins,
dark red and slow.
The razor sets my arm on fire,
the burning and the stinging,
but I push the blade deeper,
It stops the raucous singing.
Voices sing 'more, more, more'...
bleed dark red,
then my world starts spinning,
as they dance around my head.
They sing 'more, more, more'
bleed dark red,
I know they will not stop the singing,
until I bleed dark and dead.
I close my eyes and cry,
In the dark is where it starts,
where a finger is released
by the hand squeezing my heart.
When the voices go away,
that's when I open up my eyes,
Into a world of darkness,
where bleeding stops my cries.
After I bleed out,
I allow the cuts to seal,
though the scars seem to fade,
my insides never heal...
So that's when I draw a picture,
a picture with a twist,
I use a sharper razor blade,
on my other wrist.
Cuts for the Emo Kid
For the days I awake and the sun fails to shine, for the sky overhead that is never blue, for the rain that hides tears on my cheeks,
I cut because of you.
For the Mother that hates her first girl born, for the Father who never cares to be here, for the siblings who can't wait until I'm gone,
For all of you my blood I bare.
For the cold gun I held close to my head, for the bullet I didn't shoot through my brain, for the hurt I feel and days I cry,
I cut to relieve this pain.
For the time I saw him kiss another girl, for the days I dreamed he would kiss me too, for the moment his lips rejected mine,
I cut for all of you.
For the love I held that slipped through my fingers, for the hateful things I thought but never did, for the people who laugh at who I am, and for the poet within the emo kid...
I cut for you.
For the days I awake and the sun fails to shine, for the sky overhead that is never blue, for the rain that hides tears on my cheeks,
I cut because of you.
For the Mother that hates her first girl born, for the Father who never cares to be here, for the siblings who can't wait until I'm gone,
For all of you my blood I bare.
For the cold gun I held close to my head, for the bullet I didn't shoot through my brain, for the hurt I feel and days I cry,
I cut to relieve this pain.
For the time I saw him kiss another girl, for the days I dreamed he would kiss me too, for the moment his lips rejected mine,
I cut for all of you.
For the love I held that slipped through my fingers, for the hateful things I thought but never did, for the people who laugh at who I am, and for the poet within the emo kid...
I cut for you.
Wicked screams bang against my ear drums
I stand naked and alone,
half faint from deep slits on both of my wrist.
As hot water splashes against my scarred skin,
blood spills in a long stream down the drain.
Muffled cries clash with the hardcore melody of
deafening music.
My smiles are fake.
This grin is real.
My tears are hidden.
Thoughts are scrambled
and crammed inside my head.
I let them out aloud to myself.
I can't think staight and these phrases that are
refrained over and over in my mind-
these words that scream
so loud inside of me- slip out as stupid, slow whispers.
They lack intelligence and lack meaning.
Before I know it, these fragments of thought are
consuming me from the inside out
and nothing makes sense.
It's like my flesh is dislexic.
My fingers and toes are wrinkled
Letters bounce around uncontrollably in my skull.
I'm broken down to my knees
completely distorted,
wishing I could tear my head from it's place.
I feel so gone.
Far too gone to turn back
or realize where I'm going.
What the hell is this? ... a poem?
I stand naked and alone,
half faint from deep slits on both of my wrist.
As hot water splashes against my scarred skin,
blood spills in a long stream down the drain.
Muffled cries clash with the hardcore melody of
deafening music.
My smiles are fake.
This grin is real.
My tears are hidden.
Thoughts are scrambled
and crammed inside my head.
I let them out aloud to myself.
I can't think staight and these phrases that are
refrained over and over in my mind-
these words that scream
so loud inside of me- slip out as stupid, slow whispers.
They lack intelligence and lack meaning.
Before I know it, these fragments of thought are
consuming me from the inside out
and nothing makes sense.
It's like my flesh is dislexic.
My fingers and toes are wrinkled
Letters bounce around uncontrollably in my skull.
I'm broken down to my knees
completely distorted,
wishing I could tear my head from it's place.
I feel so gone.
Far too gone to turn back
or realize where I'm going.
What the hell is this? ... a poem?
"Beautiful Pain"
It sometimes is too much to bear
And my smile becomes to hard to wear
My laughter substitutes my tears
My eyes carry the hurt from the years
And the only time I look forward in the day
Is when I get in my room and to release my pain
With the sharp point of a razor blade
That rips into my veins
Making me feel alive again
Knowing I control when my life can end
My blood slowly seeping out the cut
I don't yell or cry I just keep my mouth shut
I bite my lips close my eyes and feel
The only thing that is real
I forget everything and everyone that has hurt me
Why can't everyone let me be?
As I finish up and put everything away
I put on my fake smile like everyday
With Long sleeve shirts or millions of bracelets
That cover my evidence
I walk out the door Without anyone knowing of my little incident
I'll laugh, smile and pretend everything is okay
I'll Even say its the best day
But I am slowly slipping away
Sinking, and I'll soon drown
In this beautiful pain
It sometimes is too much to bear
And my smile becomes to hard to wear
My laughter substitutes my tears
My eyes carry the hurt from the years
And the only time I look forward in the day
Is when I get in my room and to release my pain
With the sharp point of a razor blade
That rips into my veins
Making me feel alive again
Knowing I control when my life can end
My blood slowly seeping out the cut
I don't yell or cry I just keep my mouth shut
I bite my lips close my eyes and feel
The only thing that is real
I forget everything and everyone that has hurt me
Why can't everyone let me be?
As I finish up and put everything away
I put on my fake smile like everyday
With Long sleeve shirts or millions of bracelets
That cover my evidence
I walk out the door Without anyone knowing of my little incident
I'll laugh, smile and pretend everything is okay
I'll Even say its the best day
But I am slowly slipping away
Sinking, and I'll soon drown
In this beautiful pain
Hot metal red and bright,
every burn gives a light,
scar that will never fade.
Razors too thin,
for the slit i want to leave in,
my always crimson skin.
Combine them both,
the pain I give into the most,
Scars and memories are ghosts.
every burn gives a light,
scar that will never fade.
Razors too thin,
for the slit i want to leave in,
my always crimson skin.
Combine them both,
the pain I give into the most,
Scars and memories are ghosts.
