Society's Judgements

                 c h e r r y




     
               
Mom waited with bated breath as dad paced    
to and fro-his breathing audible-uneven-frantic    
like during rushed backseat sex in the drizzle  
He must have seen the door ajar for there was    
a creek and a click followed by rushed whispers    
and hushed whimpers  
 
Tick-tick-tick  
 
The mechanical clock went and the night    
stretched on beyond a point of return  
 
Sick-sick-sick  
 
The words got filtered and reached    
my room-my sphere-my ears but nothing    
made sense-not ever-not that once  
 
Next morning I overheard the conversation  
during the drive-only words and finally    
it was c o h e r e n t  
 
He was old and reasonable-charming many would say  
We were finally there-my Maha Boddhi  
 
Dad spent his time by checking the titles in    
the study and at last he sat down with    
a leather bound-probably Bacon or Shakespeare  
 
Mom was unusually quiet-her eyes did not move    
and then he came-the man in the photographs-  
 
my Jesus  
 
His large slippers squeaked on the granite floor  
dry-wet-dry-wet-near-far-strange-awhile and    
he ushered himself with an overpowering  
air of practiced supremacy-neat and lithe  
like some Thomas Harris character    
His smile said it all-for everyone except me    
f l i n c h e d  
 
next time dad gave me a ride there    
and drove quietly without a word  
I walked thru the manicured garden-  
with my toes curled into a ball  
wild animal shapes in green all around-  
all sizes and types-even lifesize  
I finally entered inside his bungalow    
after pressing the buzzer and saying  
n o t h i n g  
 
I waited for him in silence amidst rousing vocals    
all thru out the entire concretescape-  
reverberating-riveting-the chanteuse-  
she was ethereal and I nervously sifted  
 
He told me about Gregorian chants before entering  
the room and before sitting close  
 
It was the Cocteau Twins  
 
For the next few minutes he asked me    
all the right questions and then it was my turn-  
he waited patiently, his gaze fixed  
Suddenly I wanted to run outside    
without-a-stitch-of-clothing  
 
This went on for weeks-the momentous journey  
my silence and his monologue and more silence  
 
Mom was happier than before-she stared going out  
Parties-gatherings-ribbon cuttings-gettogethers-reunions  
 
She even started to drop me for my session    
and it was all good-all very good  
 
Finally I opened my mouth one day and in return    
heard him weigh my words carefully-twirling  
He had a bluff-an answer-a solution-a theory    
for e v e r y t h i n g  
 
Very quietly he said that I am afraid of    
real relationships  
 
I excused myself and went to the washroom-  
to cry in silence  
 
First the sobs did not come and then they came    
in heaps-in waves-riding on the previous they grew    
bigger-harder-deeper-and bigger  
 
And then  
 
something cold and lavender brought in    
the permeated darkness  
my eyes could not see much and I found myself    
on the floor-knelt-stooped shaking like    
a discarded poem within a crumpled ball    
of paper in the morning wind    
 
Something hot touched-my skin- my soul-my wounds  
and it went inside slow-bobbing-red-gushing-red  
cold and damp and sickening and silent  
 
The choke slid down but I was unable to breathe…  
 
 
 

Agoraphobia

from inside
I feel

these walls I recognize
not like a prisoner
but an embryo instead
floating in the womb

from inside
I see

every landscape memorized
through my windows
each changing minute
of seasons transforming

from inside
I smell

newborn flowers
a barbeque's fog
leaves ripped away
a silken white blanket

from inside
I hear

a baby birds song
children laughing
scarlet sheets falling
frigid silence

from inside
I taste

stale air
isolating passion
uncrossable moonlight
beyond the bolted doors

MPD

You see, here I stand.
There's a pen on the desk.
Now in my hand.

There's a flash.
I am gone.

I wake up at a desk.
What has happened?
Who has written?

On these pages I see words.
"My name is Sam.
I am me.
But who are you?"

So I write back.
But it's not me.
Not me.

Again, a flash.
Sam comes and writes.
As he's the writer.
Not I. Not I.

A twisted relationship
Goes on in my head.
It is a grave secret.
As I relish the dead.

Sam is my brother.
Val is my friend.
Kate is my lover.
While I come to my end.

As they are all me.
And I am all them.

I am their body.
As they are my minds.
And we help eachother.
To see. To see.

"SIM"BALTA

Barely kept from smoldering when I’m under the capsule’s oppression
A servant made less observant due to clinical depression
Fiending for a pharmacy to fill my fix; a violent mental fluoride
A vile daily dose of duloxetine hydrochloride
The instability became inability when I traded the pen for the toxin
I can’t stand the constant thumping in my cortex, read the core text on the Rx
Without the 60 mg, I’m strung out like guitar necks, spewing farfetched heartwretch
I feel a fool for imbibing this venom, A common junky on this legal cocktail
Prescribing an addiction to perdition, the doc failed
My pockets bleed for the need while their stock sails    

I’m a motherfucking thistle in the field of Lilly’s
This prescription addiction is a pharmaceutical crucifixion
Birthing new disorders, I need to cut the cord
Quitting this addiction’s like weaning yourself off the hilt of a blade
The only escape is when the violin swells and an arpeggio overture overthrows the conundrum
Play it again Lou… PLAY IT A-FUCKING-GAIN! I can’t stand the swelling pressure in my psyche
I’m having second thoughts about the people screaming in my ear. Are they real? Do they like me?
Every blink is a different thought and I’ve lost half my mind in traffic
Losing my words, losing my sanity, fingers twitching, receptors spastic
Wreaking havoc on my coping tactics, I need the real view, fuck these plastics
A carefully dosed titan could snap and demolish your polished reason

The no name.

see these stars, these violent chains
they bind me stiff, they hold my tantrums
A gaze to dread, they watch me fickle
with angst and disgust, they remind me of fate
these whims and welshes tire me down
tie me to the ground.
embracing my back.
sealing my mouth.
keeping me confined and lonely,
to satisfy the abnormality of the normal
jump for pitchers - 7 pitchers!
binge and barf and slander my dignity
I've grown indifferent of your teases
and your chains will never hold me.

Wow, sorry I haven't decided the winner yet! They're all so good!

Wow, once again! Thank you for everyone who put in a poem! They were all incredible! Way better than I even imagined!  

:-)

Congratulations to all winners and of course Sumeet for winning the competition. Eamon and Milkyway, wow!

Adele. Thanks, great comp.


Hey Sumeet , you the Man

good stuff Milkyway.

Thanks Grace !

Thank You Adele
Congrats Sumeet
and good job to you Eamon

Thank you everyone.

Hope to see more of these Adele.
Loved the idea.

WTG you three! Well deserved! Great comp!!!