Give me your best punch

"You Tell Me"
by:  Eric L. Boddie

Was it destiny
For me to give you the best of me
Leaving me with just the rest of me
Could that be His Test for me

Was I wrong, was I right
To get involved in the fight
To Shed His Light
Unto those with no Sight

What of those I have offended
And the friendships which ended
When aggression transcended
Attempts of the heart to be extended

And when my future finds my past
And the next breath to take is last
From natural causes or the gun blast
Will my memory leave you fast

And now that it's all said and done
Will my Earthly actions be frowned upon
Will time stop me or will I go beyond
Well Thank God For His Holy Son....

The Stain.

This is the stain that never comes out of your shirt.    
The stain you get from sleeping with a blade,    
You can tell, so can I, I can feel the blood spurt.    
The stain that makes you squeeze tight, your eyes...    
Because secretly you're fighting goodbyes.    
   
In the end,    
life makes me sick.    
So I'll take it away,    
with my best magic trick.    
   
I'll run to the bathroom, pistol in hand.    
Try and stop me, I dare you, and this is my last.    
Try and stop me, I dare you, 'cause I'm running damn fast.    
   
I blow my brains out on this wall,    
what a pretty new color,    
the nicest fresh stain.    
You crawl toward my corpse,    
it's me that's to blame.    
   
We're all a little twisted, but it feels like I win.    
See, I'm the one with a broken brain, and a Chelsea grin.    
You can have the gun, I pulled the trigger.    
You can feel my blood, dream of the stain that'll deliver.    
   
Try like you might, to kill yourself too.    
Trust me, little one, you haven't a clue.    
Pull the trigger, light the fuse.    
To have your life end, I see the universe refuse.    
I love you divine, I protect you without fail.    
That was the last bullet, this was it's tale.    
   
Me, saving you, pistol in my mouth.   
Me, no second thoughts, and I don't have a doubt.    
You mean more to me, than living and it's will.    
I hope you know I have tasted life's dark buzzing thrill.    
You were my life, you were my all.    
It only makes sense for you to be my downfall.    
   
My only regret was the tear in your eye.    
That stained my heart, one last time.    
Though I do not regret not saying goodbye....    
I hope you don't hate me, it only gets better, like an old wine.    
I felt, in the room, your devastation.    
So I closed my eyes for my sweet isolation.

All I Did Was Watch


He stole her from the beach,
with a knife in his hand.
She was stretchin' out, reachin',
tryin' to touch the sand.
 
Her hair was blond,
eyes real green....
It just looked wrong,
from what I seen.
 
He had a rag,
that kind that smells....
Then commenced to drag
'er through shells.
 
Her thick blood ran down her face,
seven years 'er so old.
The guy kept a steady pace,
the look in his eyes was cold.
 
Now, good sirs I did no wrong.
All I done was watch.
Just whistled a tune to an old song,
'n chased down the sight with scotch.
 
I don't agree to what he does,
but kids, I gotta secret!
I kept watch 'cause he's my son,
I trust you boys'll keep it.

The Bitch in me...


The beat in my heart fouls rhythmic..
It is for you I wish to revisit..  The Fame..
I was glorified in petrified wings...
The sting burned slow..  Causing me to go.. Insane..
I wish to practice your art..  Tearing your heart apart..
From the seams..
It seems as though you forgot the hell..  And the Spell I was under..
I'm here to remind you..  Of the kind of bind I was in..
From the sheets to the streets.  I'll creep like a thief.  And break you..
Make you my bitch..  Seep through the stitch.  And bandage in vain..
Now hush lil baby don't say a word.. I promise to cut you where it hurts...
And if that wound doesn't heal.. Remember the love you decided to kill..
It's just The Bitch In Me...

Erratic Stony Depression (30th November 2009)

He made 5 joints. With no intention to share. Readied the acid, the pills, the whiskey. “The lord is my shepherd.” In a cold stare, He shot it all with no despair. When you know you have nothing left for you, You tend to break open and take a risk or two. My my, did he try for two, But nothing would stop him from crying for you. Materialistic and true, His baby blue. Loves him more than the words ” I love you”. But he’s too sketchy, Let alone stoned. Vicarious and arrogant, Misery has him owned.

The droopy walls and contrasting colors howl at his senses, feeding his frenzy. The rebounds of mental focus heighten with the pace of the music. “I’m becoming insane.” A feeling that transcends past boundaries of thought and reason. Confusion, Anxiety, Paranoia - Singularity. Spaced out and flung into a world of chaos. Dreaming of the nightmare next door, The evil bitch who wants to chop your arms off, The deranged son who wants to burn you when your sleeping in bed, or the guy upstairs spreading lies and diseases about your new found promiscuity. Its the nightmare puzzle again. Time to solve the problems you don’t have. “What about the girl I impregnated yesterday? How do I deal with that body I left behind at the park? I didn’t even know her.” The ripples of agony, Frantic and blur. Do you see how much it hurts? Now you wonder about how your life is. Fucked up, scratched out and hopeless. Random women in every room, drugs everywhere, booze all over the floor, and shit - not where its supposed to be. Raped and abused and tossed out to dry in the rain.

But still you dance. Some feelings can never be forgotten. Some joys are just too precious. When she sings, You just can’t resist, The music moves you, And you don’t even have to try. Lost in a world of bends and slides, The sleep calls and you subside. Down for the night, For good maybe if I’m right. If you wake up again, your gonna have to live through another night of hell. Bad blood brewing hatred, Enough to knock you out, since the drug within you is living your life. So blackout more when your alive, So you never remember the life you once had. Rusted angels shall lift you up to your bliss and decapitate your mortal soul till there’s no trace of it.

The maddening heights of self loathing.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktwbup0PZp1qa5dqw.jpg

- never posted this before cuz honestly, this feels like more of an essay than a poem
- it's word for word from the first time i wrote it. if you find errors, w/e.

Gone

Gone are the days
when dancing
at the seashores
worshiping the moon
chanting incantations
and appeasements
were held

Gone are the days
when dancing for fertility
under the twilight skies
were the needs
of ancient gods
to induce their gift
of children

Gone are the days
when mating was pleasure
and procreation
the domination of male
on female, impalement
and seeding of furrows
were without inhibitions

Gone are the days
when we rode
upon unsaddled stallions
towards the grassy plains
and meet our virile men
and to return seeded
with sons of warriors.

THE  TRUTH  IS...
I dont need to bubble and argue
I''m the best and I will say that in a curfew
U can hate me but dont brag because u got perfume
My angle is perfectly straight and not acute.

Compare my strength like the fist of Mohammed Ali
Everyday I work hard and I start early
Any time I win not that im lucky but I deserve it
So all my enemies understand I dont need allies.

My home is in Kenya but I can live in Pakistan
Hard work pays if u dont believe go to Japan
My skin is pure black but my friends are not only African
Believe in yourself and u will have fun.

I wake up im faced with the moment
My aim is just to solve this problems
After that I pop champagne not porridge
Because the work I did is golden.

This is way beyond a strong flow
If u stay down u will always borrow
Do it today with power because tom morrow
Happiness will be in full perfectly and so more.

If I could, not if I should,
I would stick a needle through this skin of mine
I would sit and stitch ‘til the blood crumpled dry,
Pooling over with a dripping sigh
as it seeped from our bodies,
Leaked from our pores
to leap and dance through the fading sky
I would pull needle and thread ‘til we dread no more
‘til the impeccable pattern of repeating string
Made my soul sing to the rhythm of no ending
I would sit and tie and pull and wind
And rejoice at the pattern that came to life
I would rejoice at our triumph and the joining parts
The way for which they start to mend
As the twine bends and weaves through our aging skin
Beating away at the heaves of time,
And the thieves of life for their deceitful crimes

But as our bodies grow heavy and limbs begin to sag,
What a terrible thought if the string began to snag
Began to chip and rip at what time had to bring
We would sit like two dolls
wearing withering laces,
Our still smiling faces as plastic as such
With every bit as much of a dutiful expression
As a young child’s toy for the burdens to lessen

So then, perhaps instead, lets us tear at the seams,
Let us dare to play two parts of a whole
and see what it brings
Let us smile as the wind blows us miles apart,
Each clasping our balloons as we hum our own tune
So sir time will smirk with not impending doom,
But a looming gift
of grey hairs and rocking chairs