jokes of january

This is another 400 word comp entry it's good practice in being concise..

‘What a glorious island darling sunshine, beautiful sea, this romantic bungalow, our own sailing dinghy. Simply perfect.’

‘Drink your iced tea my dear or it’ll get warm.’

Moira  drank deeply ‘shall I call the houseboy to bring more?’

‘I gave him the afternoon off dearest.’

‘Well I've had enough tea anyway.’

Yes, you certainly have my dear.’

Whatever do you mean John?’

‘I poisoned yours dearest you’ll be dying soon then I’ll have all your lovely money.’

‘Oh you silly boy did you think I didn’t realise why you brought me to this remote place? I swapped glasses when you went to the loo.’

He smiled knowingly ‘I knew you suspected me darling, that’s why I poisoned my glass not yours. I simply let you switch.

‘Really? That was clever.’

John smirked ‘I've bribed the police chief to falsify cause of death my sweet. A thousand now, two thousand on receipt of your death certificate. That’s eighteen months pay on these impoverished islands. These poor, simple people are so easily bribed you know.’

She grinned broadly ‘You know the trouble with clever people John is that sometimes they run away with the idea that they’re the only clever people.’

‘What on earth do you mean darling?’

‘I knew you'd try to murder me for my money. I also knew you’d use poison. You simply haven’t the guts for violence beloved. I also noticed that our glasses were not quite identical. Yours has a tiny chip in the base so you’d know which was which.’

‘So why swap them?’

‘Ah that’s my clever bit. I poured the contents of your cup into the empty tea jug then poured mine into yours. I then poured the poisoned tea back into mine.’

John looked aghast but before he could reply the houseboy entered.

‘I thought I gave you the afternoon off?’

‘Yes sir but I came back to remove your bodies.’

Moira looked astounded ‘What on earth is going on?’

The boy smiled ‘I poisoned the whole jug before I left.’

‘John was horrified ‘But why?’

‘You have ten thousand in cash, your cards and jewellery are worth thousands more.’ The boy laughed ‘you’ll be put in the dinghy and sent out to sea. A tragic Accident.’

‘But how....?

‘My uncle’s the police chief sir he’s a very clever man and we poor, simple people are so easily bribed you know.’