June of jokes of july
rabbitquest
Forum Posts: 2051
Dangerous Mind
2
Joined 20th May 2012Forum Posts: 2051
Without life insurance, you could die.
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
rabbitquest
Forum Posts: 2051
Dangerous Mind
2
Joined 20th May 2012Forum Posts: 2051
Awesome limericks
rabbitquest
Forum Posts: 2051
Dangerous Mind
2
Joined 20th May 2012Forum Posts: 2051
Rhyme waits for no man
RevolutionAL
Alistair Plint
Forum Posts: 1257
Alistair Plint
Dangerous Mind
29
Joined 24th July 2012Forum Posts: 1257
the guy was four foot four
his wife a helluva lot more
she'd open her knees
and demand that he please
he stretched out his neck
oh what the heck!
we know, he goes UP
on her each day at four
and sometimes more
his wife a helluva lot more
she'd open her knees
and demand that he please
he stretched out his neck
oh what the heck!
we know, he goes UP
on her each day at four
and sometimes more
rabbitquest
Forum Posts: 2051
Dangerous Mind
2
Joined 20th May 2012Forum Posts: 2051
Ahh to have and to hold
Never grows old
Never grows old
rabbitquest
Forum Posts: 2051
Dangerous Mind
2
Joined 20th May 2012Forum Posts: 2051
After the toddler swallowed his mom's wristwatch, there was nothing left to do
But pass the time
But pass the time
rabbitquest
Forum Posts: 2051
Dangerous Mind
2
Joined 20th May 2012Forum Posts: 2051
So dad discovered my stash of bdsm mags when I was 13.
Mom decided to get my mind off of them by
getting me anything for my birthday.
"Son, you can have anything I have"
'do you have Ass, ma? '
"no son, I'm breathing OK"
So when the birthday idea didn't work out,
my dad decided to spank me....
rabbitquest
Forum Posts: 2051
Dangerous Mind
2
Joined 20th May 2012Forum Posts: 2051
When her watch began to tic tic strangely,
She decided to get a second opinion.
She decided to get a second opinion.
I_IS_ME
Forum Posts: 84
Tyrant of Words
24
Joined 29th Aug 2018Forum Posts: 84
wallyroo92
Forum Posts: 1874
Tyrant of Words
154
Joined 11th July 2012Forum Posts: 1874
The Mystery of Brownie the Magical Poo
One day when father entered the bathroom,
On the toilet seat there sat a big poo,
And though no one claimed to have done it,
Father was upset and didn’t know what to do.
But mother on the other hand was furious,
That someone would be that absurd,
So she decided to question the children,
And find out who left that big turd.
First mother asked the baby and the baby said:
“I’m a baby, I can’t even reach the bowl,
Besides that poo is a long curvy thing,
That can’t have come out of my bung hole.”
The mother then asked her little daughter,
And she said “I couldn’t have left that dung,
That’s a very un-lady like thing for me to do,
It’s so big I would’ve coughed up a lung.”
Next the mother questioned her little boy,
“Did you take a poo and just leave it there?”
“No mom I swear, but I think it’s magical,
Let’s take a picture of it, post it and share.”
The mother then questioned her older daughter,
“Eww no, really? Mom! That’s really gross,
I don’t even like to think about bowel movements,
Let alone think about one of those!”
Mother than turned to her oldest son,
“I didn’t do it mom, I swear it wasn’t me,
But my little brother is right, it’s magical,
I think we should name it Brownie.”
Mom fought, argued, begged and pleaded,
But no one would cop to it or make a deal,
So she left it there for days making her angrier,
They all knew that shit was about to get real.
A week later just like it had started,
It disappeared and still no one had a clue,
How or where that stool came or went,
And that’s the mystery,
Of Brownie, the Magical poo.
The End.
Next week Comet, the Inexplicable Vomit.
On the toilet seat there sat a big poo,
And though no one claimed to have done it,
Father was upset and didn’t know what to do.
But mother on the other hand was furious,
That someone would be that absurd,
So she decided to question the children,
And find out who left that big turd.
First mother asked the baby and the baby said:
“I’m a baby, I can’t even reach the bowl,
Besides that poo is a long curvy thing,
That can’t have come out of my bung hole.”
The mother then asked her little daughter,
And she said “I couldn’t have left that dung,
That’s a very un-lady like thing for me to do,
It’s so big I would’ve coughed up a lung.”
Next the mother questioned her little boy,
“Did you take a poo and just leave it there?”
“No mom I swear, but I think it’s magical,
Let’s take a picture of it, post it and share.”
The mother then questioned her older daughter,
“Eww no, really? Mom! That’s really gross,
I don’t even like to think about bowel movements,
Let alone think about one of those!”
Mother than turned to her oldest son,
“I didn’t do it mom, I swear it wasn’t me,
But my little brother is right, it’s magical,
I think we should name it Brownie.”
Mom fought, argued, begged and pleaded,
But no one would cop to it or make a deal,
So she left it there for days making her angrier,
They all knew that shit was about to get real.
A week later just like it had started,
It disappeared and still no one had a clue,
How or where that stool came or went,
And that’s the mystery,
Of Brownie, the Magical poo.
The End.
Next week Comet, the Inexplicable Vomit.
Written by wallyroo92
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dejure
vick
Forum Posts: 2880
vick
Dangerous Mind
29
Joined 17th Aug 2015Forum Posts: 2880
only the
opening soon
of the mall sign
was visible
from the
window of
the 3 star
honeymoon
suite....
opening soon
of the mall sign
was visible
from the
window of
the 3 star
honeymoon
suite....
rabbitquest
Forum Posts: 2051
Dangerous Mind
2
Joined 20th May 2012Forum Posts: 2051
I had a dream about garlic curing E.D.
But I don't have any hard evidence
to back that up
But I don't have any hard evidence
to back that up
blocat
Forum Posts: 241
Dangerous Mind
9
Joined 1st Nov 2012Forum Posts: 241
The Whore of Nantucket
There was an old whore from Nantucket
Was so ugly that no one would fuck it
She'd the face of a dog
The voice of a frog
And a cunt like a billposter's bucket.
Was so ugly that no one would fuck it
She'd the face of a dog
The voice of a frog
And a cunt like a billposter's bucket.
Written by blocat
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admin
DU Webmistress
DU Webmistress
Mistress of the Underground
1
The winner of this competition and any runners up were decided by public vote.
Thank you to the following members for voting:
admin, Trome, Tallen, AspergerPoet56, PlaydateWithFire, AnonymousBystander, Billy_Snagg, Stoney223, FromTheAsh, Layla, Marks, LostGirl18, MadameLavender, brokentitanium, rabbitquest, dejure, cold_fusion
Thank you to the following members for voting:
admin, Trome, Tallen, AspergerPoet56, PlaydateWithFire, AnonymousBystander, Billy_Snagg, Stoney223, FromTheAsh, Layla, Marks, LostGirl18, MadameLavender, brokentitanium, rabbitquest, dejure, cold_fusion