Fictional Prose Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Short stories and chapters from books and novels
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
25th Nov 2024 1:42pm
25th Nov 2024 1:42pm
Tops & Tails
They gathered in a room of the hotel that served as a sort of dressing room for waitresses, who functioned essentially as entertainers. The girls weren't dressed in formal wear but in a showgirl ensemble that combined tops and tails with fishnet stockings. A few of the more imposing waitresses even wielded canes like Old Hollywood tap dancers.
Mrs Berkeley sailed into the room, all frontage and steerage. Her chest and rear were of proportions that the girls in her care could only have nightmares about. She wore her hair in the tortured bob of women her age and size. She was...
Mrs Berkeley sailed into the room, all frontage and steerage. Her chest and rear were of proportions that the girls in her care could only have nightmares about. She wore her hair in the tortured bob of women her age and size. She was...
#fiction
#revenge
#ShortStory #violence
#ShortStory #violence
65 reads
2 Comments
Kou_Indigo
Poem Published
24th Nov 2024 6:47pm
24th Nov 2024 6:47pm
Klingon Legends: The Clans of the Damned
- Klingon Legends: The Clans of the Damned -
(Inspired by stories found in the book “Let's Trek: The Budget Traveller's Guide to Klingon Worlds”.)
This is a rather dark story, which was hidden deep within a historical knowledge database of a highly respected university on the Klingon home world of Kronos. The author's name was stricken off records.
Upon one of the more remote planets of the Klingon Empire, there was a clan known for their strange and mysterious behavior. No one can be said to be truly familiar with their origins, but it is known that those...
(Inspired by stories found in the book “Let's Trek: The Budget Traveller's Guide to Klingon Worlds”.)
This is a rather dark story, which was hidden deep within a historical knowledge database of a highly respected university on the Klingon home world of Kronos. The author's name was stricken off records.
Upon one of the more remote planets of the Klingon Empire, there was a clan known for their strange and mysterious behavior. No one can be said to be truly familiar with their origins, but it is known that those...
#aliens
#dark
#historical
#horror
#scifi
50 reads
0 Comments
Koulouri
Poem Published
16th Nov 2024 10:54pm
16th Nov 2024 10:54pm
Change the Locks
scatterbrained,
feathers and pecking,
thoughts quick,
frantic checking.
the door is locked,
footsteps approach,
sweat sliding down,
a creeping roach.
It looks in your eyes,
you have no disguise.
knob turning,
knee hitting the wood,
still locked in a trance,
be understood.
one-click,
two-click,
three-click,
done.
time standing still,
yet persisting forward,
the door is now open,
you are cornered.
a question is asked,
yet...
feathers and pecking,
thoughts quick,
frantic checking.
the door is locked,
footsteps approach,
sweat sliding down,
a creeping roach.
It looks in your eyes,
you have no disguise.
knob turning,
knee hitting the wood,
still locked in a trance,
be understood.
one-click,
two-click,
three-click,
done.
time standing still,
yet persisting forward,
the door is now open,
you are cornered.
a question is asked,
yet...
#anxiety
#fear
#memories #scary
#memories #scary
73 reads
2 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
14th Nov 2024 1:51pm
14th Nov 2024 1:51pm
The One Night Stand
#erotic
#lust
#orgasm
#sex
#temptation
231 reads
18 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
13th Nov 2024 10:58am
13th Nov 2024 10:58am
Hopeful Thoughts
A little can of hope keeps me going everyday.
I take a sip and all my problems go away.
It's filled with positive thoughts,no fears.
That goes down my throat and erases all my tears.
It's like a happy delight.
Not having troublesome thoughts at night.
Does this delight come from above?
The one thing that heals my heart.
Is it from another part of the world?
Or is that not the right word?
When I'm sad,I take a sip.
Of positive thoughts and desires.
When I feel troubled, I take a sip.
And I...
I take a sip and all my problems go away.
It's filled with positive thoughts,no fears.
That goes down my throat and erases all my tears.
It's like a happy delight.
Not having troublesome thoughts at night.
Does this delight come from above?
The one thing that heals my heart.
Is it from another part of the world?
Or is that not the right word?
When I'm sad,I take a sip.
Of positive thoughts and desires.
When I feel troubled, I take a sip.
And I...
#dark
#happiness
#hope #sadness
#hope #sadness
76 reads
0 Comments
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
4th Nov 2024 12:24pm
4th Nov 2024 12:24pm
Whorehouse Music
The carriage pulled up outside a gabled house with bars on the upper windows, below a full moon beaming light on the scene as if it was a stage play. A small, stout man in restrained courtly dress emerged from the carriage, pursued by a younger man in full royal regalia, sleeves slashed to reveal silk lining the colour of green jade, thick hair greased and waved in the modern style.
They were met at the door of the establishment by a madam whose wrinkled skin and flat chest were supported by shimmering black lace. The stout man found her attractive for what he perceived as her grit...
They were met at the door of the establishment by a madam whose wrinkled skin and flat chest were supported by shimmering black lace. The stout man found her attractive for what he perceived as her grit...
#horror
#ShortStory
#werewolves #witches
#werewolves #witches
80 reads
4 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
3rd Nov 2024 12:55pm
3rd Nov 2024 12:55pm
The Ultimate Queen (chapter one/part 2)
In the Vinu Mountains Maline has finished her nest for the coming of her child. This child is her first and quite possibly her last. Her body had a tendency to rid itself of the foreign object. For some reason, this one stayed till term. The Humm women produce offspring within a quarter of a moon phase. They are surrounded by four moons. Maline felt the stirring for her to prepare for the coming.
The mountain of Vin is rich in purple soil. The Humm tribe lived on the mountain for several generations. The height of males is five feet six inches. The females of the species' average...
The mountain of Vin is rich in purple soil. The Humm tribe lived on the mountain for several generations. The height of males is five feet six inches. The females of the species' average...
#dystopian
#scifi
166 reads
6 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
3rd Nov 2024 10:47am
3rd Nov 2024 10:47am
Pandora's Box
They say Pandora's box is full of woe.
Ignoring her one big fall.
They say it can curse and kill.
No matter what you feel when you open it.
They say it contains dark magic.
Not something that could be described as tragic.
As the box slowly opens,you begin to see.
Pandora is actually as sweet and kind as can be.
But the items,thoughts in the box.
Sometimes,she locks it away so people don't run away.
But even if her box contains dark thoughts.
She is a person like us all.
Even if her contains ate tragic. ...
Ignoring her one big fall.
They say it can curse and kill.
No matter what you feel when you open it.
They say it contains dark magic.
Not something that could be described as tragic.
As the box slowly opens,you begin to see.
Pandora is actually as sweet and kind as can be.
But the items,thoughts in the box.
Sometimes,she locks it away so people don't run away.
But even if her box contains dark thoughts.
She is a person like us all.
Even if her contains ate tragic. ...
#happiness
#hope
#redemption #sadness
#redemption #sadness
95 reads
0 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
2nd Nov 2024 10:45pm
2nd Nov 2024 10:45pm
The Ultimate Queen Chapter One/part one
Chapter One
In This multicolored universe, in a cluster of hidden stars. There is a place that houses the nine worlds. In each of these worlds’ lives, inhabitant species that believe, they are the only survivors of the wars. The great wars that separated a united universe.
Once the war was over and the dead were more than the inhabitants could endure, propaganda was created to dissuade the youth from venturing out.
The queen of the Xantus people, Queen Ruel, announced to her people that they were the center of the universe and had no other life...
In This multicolored universe, in a cluster of hidden stars. There is a place that houses the nine worlds. In each of these worlds’ lives, inhabitant species that believe, they are the only survivors of the wars. The great wars that separated a united universe.
Once the war was over and the dead were more than the inhabitants could endure, propaganda was created to dissuade the youth from venturing out.
The queen of the Xantus people, Queen Ruel, announced to her people that they were the center of the universe and had no other life...
#dystopian
#scifi
92 reads
4 Comments
Lowko
Jimi Tatz
Jimi Tatz
Poem Published
1st Nov 2024 2:54pm
1st Nov 2024 2:54pm
Thee Underclass
It was thee 18th century, and I was just a mere vagabondus.
I couldn't hold down a job, I think one week was my longest!
With a peaky blinders cap and my waistcoat on tight,
I would wander thee streets at night, drunk, and get into fights.
It was thee old days of Landan, full of buskers and harlots.
Staggering past thee beggers, on thee way to thee market.
I met a Dorris called Charlotte, going past on her horse and cart,
She offered me a lift and asked where I'd like to depart?!
She was talking all jargon about nobility,...
I couldn't hold down a job, I think one week was my longest!
With a peaky blinders cap and my waistcoat on tight,
I would wander thee streets at night, drunk, and get into fights.
It was thee old days of Landan, full of buskers and harlots.
Staggering past thee beggers, on thee way to thee market.
I met a Dorris called Charlotte, going past on her horse and cart,
She offered me a lift and asked where I'd like to depart?!
She was talking all jargon about nobility,...
#friendship
#heroic
#humankind #masculinity
#humankind #masculinity
70 reads
2 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
1st Nov 2024 10:59am
1st Nov 2024 10:59am
Exploring Imagination
When you enter the world of imagination.
You arrive at a whole another nation.
This land is empty of woe.
And makes you feel whole.
As it puts on a magical show.
You will meet characters,kind and sweet.
Fictional or real,you could meet.
In the land of imagination we sing along.
To the song of acceptance and pumpkin song.
You will meet new friends on the way.
When you walk on the colorful pathway.
Whether characters from books or games.
And no matter who it is or who blames.
In this land we don't judge. ...
You arrive at a whole another nation.
This land is empty of woe.
And makes you feel whole.
As it puts on a magical show.
You will meet characters,kind and sweet.
Fictional or real,you could meet.
In the land of imagination we sing along.
To the song of acceptance and pumpkin song.
You will meet new friends on the way.
When you walk on the colorful pathway.
Whether characters from books or games.
And no matter who it is or who blames.
In this land we don't judge. ...
#happiness
#hope
#inspirational #uplifting
#inspirational #uplifting
57 reads
0 Comments
EleazarSwan
Poem Published
1st Nov 2024 00:25am
1st Nov 2024 00:25am
Villanelle 5 [a Feast & Proposal]
V: come now, my darling, surely we grow weary of this language that besets the mind with all kinds of thoughts
Me: i never tire of Truth, to my own peril
V: and why should you perish? surely the body must be refreshed from time to time, as the mind needs be
Me: to be sure, yet I honor my mind far greater than my body
V: to what purpose? for as the mind is strengthened by Truth, so the body is strengthened by food
Me: in this you err, thou vile witch; for as the mind is brought into subjection by the investigation of Truth, so the body is brought into subjection by the...
Me: i never tire of Truth, to my own peril
V: and why should you perish? surely the body must be refreshed from time to time, as the mind needs be
Me: to be sure, yet I honor my mind far greater than my body
V: to what purpose? for as the mind is strengthened by Truth, so the body is strengthened by food
Me: in this you err, thou vile witch; for as the mind is brought into subjection by the investigation of Truth, so the body is brought into subjection by the...
#villanelle
47 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Fictional Prose Seeking Critique: Short Stories and Chapters from Books and Novels (Page 2)
