Fictional Prose Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Short stories and chapters from books and novels
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
22nd Mar 2025 10:56am
22nd Mar 2025 10:56am
Show & Tell
A puppet and puppeteer.
Is what this story is about here.
Imagine a lively puppet with light blue eyes.
Her pink dress,now fantasize.
You pull by her strings,to force her into doing things.
The puppet asks you,is this not enough?
What do you want of me,and aren't I tough?
The puppeteer pulled her strings.
The kids brought her to show and tell.
They showed it to the teacher,and the kids liked it well.
She is on display for all of them to see.
The story behind her wood is snot something you can clearly see.
...
Is what this story is about here.
Imagine a lively puppet with light blue eyes.
Her pink dress,now fantasize.
You pull by her strings,to force her into doing things.
The puppet asks you,is this not enough?
What do you want of me,and aren't I tough?
The puppeteer pulled her strings.
The kids brought her to show and tell.
They showed it to the teacher,and the kids liked it well.
She is on display for all of them to see.
The story behind her wood is snot something you can clearly see.
...
#dark
#despair
#hope
25 reads
0 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
17th Mar 2025 10:56am
17th Mar 2025 10:56am
Warmth
I don't know what's about the feeling.
Of warmth that comforts us and gets us reeling.
Maybe it's the way it reminds you of a friend's warm hug.
Or your own child,gently catching your attention by tugging on your shirt.
The warmth of sunshine rays.
On hot summer beach days.
The dear childhood days when you used to play.
And the times you would create.
The memories you hold onto.
And the upcoming of fate.
The warm sensation warmth does create.
Sometimes it can soothe the soul.
Or chase away any negative emotion...
Of warmth that comforts us and gets us reeling.
Maybe it's the way it reminds you of a friend's warm hug.
Or your own child,gently catching your attention by tugging on your shirt.
The warmth of sunshine rays.
On hot summer beach days.
The dear childhood days when you used to play.
And the times you would create.
The memories you hold onto.
And the upcoming of fate.
The warm sensation warmth does create.
Sometimes it can soothe the soul.
Or chase away any negative emotion...
#hope
#loneliness
#motivational #uplifting
#motivational #uplifting
39 reads
0 Comments
Cipher_O
Poem Published
17th Mar 2025 4:13am
17th Mar 2025 4:13am
NetherwoodsPoetry.com (Ch1)
Chapter 1
I
Looking glass of ink abyss,
mansion of dark expansions,
mind - a dangerous design
inside of space and time.
Prayers in layers of smoke
into sky.
II
It’s not the end you see,
it’s only the end if we
let it be.
Words from a movie:
Dancer in the Dark.
Bjork plays a single mother
in an impossible situation
where she is forced to
kill a crooked cop.
(Perhaps an oxymoron.)
This is the quote...
I
Looking glass of ink abyss,
mansion of dark expansions,
mind - a dangerous design
inside of space and time.
Prayers in layers of smoke
into sky.
II
It’s not the end you see,
it’s only the end if we
let it be.
Words from a movie:
Dancer in the Dark.
Bjork plays a single mother
in an impossible situation
where she is forced to
kill a crooked cop.
(Perhaps an oxymoron.)
This is the quote...
#shadows
41 reads
0 Comments
Cipher_O
Poem Published
15th Mar 2025 10:14am
15th Mar 2025 10:14am
DeepUndergroundPoetry.coffee (CH1)
Chapter 1
I
Strange signs and wonders,
everywhere in my life, lately.
Real high magic synchronicities,
inspiring a belief in such things.
Just yesterday something of a
summoned reality arose, merely
from self manifestation, shit
like The Secret…
Real spooky shit…
Like a struck chord of an instrument
of 3am strangeness.
II
Tonight, I suppose I was keeping
an extra distance from potential
epicenters of light or anything else,
a fierce spirit in the night,...
I
Strange signs and wonders,
everywhere in my life, lately.
Real high magic synchronicities,
inspiring a belief in such things.
Just yesterday something of a
summoned reality arose, merely
from self manifestation, shit
like The Secret…
Real spooky shit…
Like a struck chord of an instrument
of 3am strangeness.
II
Tonight, I suppose I was keeping
an extra distance from potential
epicenters of light or anything else,
a fierce spirit in the night,...
#shadows
86 reads
6 Comments
Cipher_O
Poem Published
14th Mar 2025 4:20am
14th Mar 2025 4:20am
Jackie's Book of Shadows (CH13)
Chapter 13
I
Skies clearing – Stars peering.
Blood moon in the sky...
An entire circumference
of creatures drawing circles,
squares, triangles and strange
symbols in the Earth,
generating energetic constructs
for ceremonial sacrifice.
After the last symbol is drawn,
each construct rises into a
pyramid structure, a circle of
ascendant pyramids, at first
static, then materializing into
solid structures.
In the center of...
I
Skies clearing – Stars peering.
Blood moon in the sky...
An entire circumference
of creatures drawing circles,
squares, triangles and strange
symbols in the Earth,
generating energetic constructs
for ceremonial sacrifice.
After the last symbol is drawn,
each construct rises into a
pyramid structure, a circle of
ascendant pyramids, at first
static, then materializing into
solid structures.
In the center of...
#shadows
41 reads
0 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
11th Mar 2025 10:53am
11th Mar 2025 10:53am
Writing Books
When you write a book using the feather of a hen.
Dip it in ink or use a fountain pen.
You can write whole new worlds.
Like magic,fantasize.
With your pure imagination.
And before your eyes.
The words begin to come alive and dance.
Like a romance novel with a chance.
An adventure plot in advance.
Or a comedy with a glance.
It's like your pen holds power.
As beautiful as a freshly bloomed flower.
The smell of a new book is one you cannot resist.
With a new plot,a new cover.
And the memory of the plot...
Dip it in ink or use a fountain pen.
You can write whole new worlds.
Like magic,fantasize.
With your pure imagination.
And before your eyes.
The words begin to come alive and dance.
Like a romance novel with a chance.
An adventure plot in advance.
Or a comedy with a glance.
It's like your pen holds power.
As beautiful as a freshly bloomed flower.
The smell of a new book is one you cannot resist.
With a new plot,a new cover.
And the memory of the plot...
#books
#hope
#magic #motivational
#magic #motivational
48 reads
0 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
23rd Aug 2024 5:12pm
23rd Aug 2024 5:12pm
First Date
"I'm going on a date tonight."
"Caw! With who?!"
"It's on a need-to-know basis and you don't need to know!"
"Is it serious, Jen?"
"It's just a date, Madeline."
“Awight, awight , don't get yer knickers in a twist! Show me the outfit then.”
"I was thinking of a white shirt and this blue skirt."
“Jenny, how old 'ar ya?”
"What does that have to do with anything?" ...
"Caw! With who?!"
"It's on a need-to-know basis and you don't need to know!"
"Is it serious, Jen?"
"It's just a date, Madeline."
“Awight, awight , don't get yer knickers in a twist! Show me the outfit then.”
"I was thinking of a white shirt and this blue skirt."
“Jenny, how old 'ar ya?”
"What does that have to do with anything?" ...
#DeepUndergroundPoetry
#funny
151 reads
14 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
10th Mar 2025 10:55am
10th Mar 2025 10:55am
Yesterday's Dream
I knew him once upon a dream.
A dream like you have never seen.
And so have I.
But it seemed peaceful,with a light blue sky.
I saw a girl in that dream.
She was doubtful of all she's ever been.
She says,my pain I don't want you to carry.
I don't want you to worry,I want you to be merry.
The way she spoke in this vivid dream.
Like there is more to her than others have seen.
She says,but what if you don't like me?
What if you dislike the real me?
What if you don't like my flaws?
That stand out...
A dream like you have never seen.
And so have I.
But it seemed peaceful,with a light blue sky.
I saw a girl in that dream.
She was doubtful of all she's ever been.
She says,my pain I don't want you to carry.
I don't want you to worry,I want you to be merry.
The way she spoke in this vivid dream.
Like there is more to her than others have seen.
She says,but what if you don't like me?
What if you dislike the real me?
What if you don't like my flaws?
That stand out...
#dreams
#hope
#motivational
#sleep
#uplifting
53 reads
0 Comments
Cipher_O
Poem Published
10th Mar 2025 7:44am
10th Mar 2025 7:44am
Jackie's Book of Shadows (CH11)
Chapter 11
I
Following an hour long hike,
through sand dunes, by the
light of the moon, the ladies
arrive at The Field of
Moonlight, where there is
set up: A wicker man.
“You see that wicker man.
That’s where you’re goin,
little man.”
Caramelized air saturates his
bulging eyeballs, mind
beginning to slip over the
edge of sanity, cold sweat
upon brow, quivering upon
entry into epicenters of
hopelessness.
Framed by wicker in the
effigy of a man.
...
I
Following an hour long hike,
through sand dunes, by the
light of the moon, the ladies
arrive at The Field of
Moonlight, where there is
set up: A wicker man.
“You see that wicker man.
That’s where you’re goin,
little man.”
Caramelized air saturates his
bulging eyeballs, mind
beginning to slip over the
edge of sanity, cold sweat
upon brow, quivering upon
entry into epicenters of
hopelessness.
Framed by wicker in the
effigy of a man.
...
#shadows
54 reads
0 Comments
Cipher_O
Poem Published
10th Mar 2025 7:44am
10th Mar 2025 7:44am
Jackie's Book of Shadows (CH12)
Chapter 12
I
Pointing to different parts
of the tree lined parameter,
an assortment of creatures
begins to emerge.
Chucky…
The Leprechaun…
Batman…
The gremlins…
Each stepping forth, and upon
closer look have implements
for killing.
“I also brought these guys.”
A gang of Cipheric magicians,
emerging from the trees,
begins walking across the field.
The sight opens up a second
stream of urine, down Jumper’s
leg.
II
...
I
Pointing to different parts
of the tree lined parameter,
an assortment of creatures
begins to emerge.
Chucky…
The Leprechaun…
Batman…
The gremlins…
Each stepping forth, and upon
closer look have implements
for killing.
“I also brought these guys.”
A gang of Cipheric magicians,
emerging from the trees,
begins walking across the field.
The sight opens up a second
stream of urine, down Jumper’s
leg.
II
...
#shadows
57 reads
0 Comments
Cipher_O
Poem Published
9th Mar 2025 3:05pm
9th Mar 2025 3:05pm
Jackie's Book of Shadows (CH10)
Chapter 10
I
The tinted Sprinter window rolls
down. Vulcan turns to the guard
in the guard tower, who has a
similar appearance, nodding in
recognition, the electric gate…
Rising.
“Well, here we are ladies.”
Jackie says.
She looks deep into the eyes
of a bound and gagged Jumper,
index finger to thumb, opening
his eyes with a magical gesture.
Jumper makes a muffled attempt
at protest.
“Here we are Jumper. Why don’t
you enjoy the scenery. It’s breath ...
I
The tinted Sprinter window rolls
down. Vulcan turns to the guard
in the guard tower, who has a
similar appearance, nodding in
recognition, the electric gate…
Rising.
“Well, here we are ladies.”
Jackie says.
She looks deep into the eyes
of a bound and gagged Jumper,
index finger to thumb, opening
his eyes with a magical gesture.
Jumper makes a muffled attempt
at protest.
“Here we are Jumper. Why don’t
you enjoy the scenery. It’s breath ...
#shadows
58 reads
0 Comments
OxyMoronicMe
G.L.
G.L.
Poem Published
8th Mar 2025 8:59pm
8th Mar 2025 8:59pm
THE MASTER - SHATTERED REFLECTIONS
#evil
3 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Fictional Prose Seeking Critique: Short Stories and Chapters from Books and Novels
