Surreal Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#surreal
missjem56
Poem Published
21st Apr 2024 11:44pm
21st Apr 2024 11:44pm
Clownish
Tears of a clown
Blood red droplets
Trickle down
On a deathly white face
The smile
Fixed, and somewhat surreal
With a nose
Like one of Santa's reindeer
(without the antlers)
Baggy trousers
Sagging ambitions
The reward sought for
A smile
But sometimes fear
As the smile
Becomes a grimace
A snarl
Accompanied by maniacal laughter
That echoes
As though from the pits of hell
Fearsome, and nightmarish
Then the inevitable scream
I run to escape
Then suddenly realise
That this...
Blood red droplets
Trickle down
On a deathly white face
The smile
Fixed, and somewhat surreal
With a nose
Like one of Santa's reindeer
(without the antlers)
Baggy trousers
Sagging ambitions
The reward sought for
A smile
But sometimes fear
As the smile
Becomes a grimace
A snarl
Accompanied by maniacal laughter
That echoes
As though from the pits of hell
Fearsome, and nightmarish
Then the inevitable scream
I run to escape
Then suddenly realise
That this...
#fear
#funny
#surreal
28 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 4:15pm
16th Apr 2024 4:15pm
Obliqua Eureka!
I once heard
Don't think me absurd
That Archimedes
Was once propositioned
When he was offered
In any position
A screw
Apparently
It was not only his water levels
That rose on that day
With much of a todo!
by Jemia
Don't think me absurd
That Archimedes
Was once propositioned
When he was offered
In any position
A screw
Apparently
It was not only his water levels
That rose on that day
With much of a todo!
by Jemia
#parody
#satirical
#funny
#historical
#surreal
29 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 00:27am
16th Apr 2024 00:27am
Bamoon!
There once was an old man
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
31 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Mar 2024 12:59pm
28th Mar 2024 12:59pm
Triple Twenty
No-one knew
Or possibly didn't care
Or wonder
Why this particular dragonfly
Had no tail, or much body
And that's why
It had no control
On how it could fly
Oft seen
Crashing into trees, hedges,
And other dragonflies
Who often mistook this dragonfly
As a helicopter seed
As it crashed chaotically to the ground
This was not good for the dragonflies' morale
He soon took to wearing
A false torso
Which kind of gave him better balance
And in time
Was able to fly again
Although he came to a tragic end ...
Or possibly didn't care
Or wonder
Why this particular dragonfly
Had no tail, or much body
And that's why
It had no control
On how it could fly
Oft seen
Crashing into trees, hedges,
And other dragonflies
Who often mistook this dragonfly
As a helicopter seed
As it crashed chaotically to the ground
This was not good for the dragonflies' morale
He soon took to wearing
A false torso
Which kind of gave him better balance
And in time
Was able to fly again
Although he came to a tragic end ...
#nature
#funny
#surreal
48 reads
1 Comment
Kii_Ahn
Poem Published
27th Mar 2024 3:56pm
27th Mar 2024 3:56pm
DEER
He was walking ever so
carefully down the winding
road
The most alluring of milky scents
wafted through the crisp
air
A blue roaring beast slowed
to a full stop with light brighter than
day
Now he could only smell
the rough choke of
diesel
He didn't even bother to
leap away as he was
disappointed
There was no collision and
he'd rather die than lose scent of
rose-milk
carefully down the winding
road
The most alluring of milky scents
wafted through the crisp
air
A blue roaring beast slowed
to a full stop with light brighter than
day
Now he could only smell
the rough choke of
diesel
He didn't even bother to
leap away as he was
disappointed
There was no collision and
he'd rather die than lose scent of
rose-milk
#LookingForLove
#MentalHealth
#surreal
130 reads
13 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
A Fishy Limerick
There once was a lady of
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
40 reads
1 Comment
Kinkwizard_95
Poem Published
24th Mar 2024 1:17am
24th Mar 2024 1:17am
The Medium Sized Spoon
Spoons come in all shapes and sizes
But you’ll never guess which size mine is
We looked for medium but they were rare
You might think that we don’t care
How mistaken you may be
We label ours A.. B.. C
It seems that only you have two
What can we say, shame on you
If you would like to rearrange your drawer
Pay a visit to the nearest store
There’s local places, there aplenty
5.. 10.. 15.. maybe 20
Ripon, Richmond, there are more
Or await Spoon Salesmen at your door
~ Yorkshire Medium Sized...
But you’ll never guess which size mine is
We looked for medium but they were rare
You might think that we don’t care
How mistaken you may be
We label ours A.. B.. C
It seems that only you have two
What can we say, shame on you
If you would like to rearrange your drawer
Pay a visit to the nearest store
There’s local places, there aplenty
5.. 10.. 15.. maybe 20
Ripon, Richmond, there are more
Or await Spoon Salesmen at your door
~ Yorkshire Medium Sized...
#satirical
#surreal
71 reads
3 Comments
Kinkwizard_95
Poem Published
22nd Mar 2024 11:23pm
22nd Mar 2024 11:23pm
Dr Feral
#sex
#funny
#myself
#dirty
#surreal
136 reads
3 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
18th Mar 2024 5:19pm
18th Mar 2024 5:19pm
The Tri-Eyed Tribe
In a small wood Far, far, away
In an undiscovered part
Of this big wide world
Lived a very strange race of people
Their average height was only two foot six inches
Which is rather short But not strange
They spoke by making curious clicking noises
Maybe unusual But again, not strange
They were strict vegans
The idea of eating meat of any kind
They found totally repugnant
Yet again, nothing strange in that
What was strange
Was that they all possessed a third eye
Two of which Were exactly in the place
You'd...
In an undiscovered part
Of this big wide world
Lived a very strange race of people
Their average height was only two foot six inches
Which is rather short But not strange
They spoke by making curious clicking noises
Maybe unusual But again, not strange
They were strict vegans
The idea of eating meat of any kind
They found totally repugnant
Yet again, nothing strange in that
What was strange
Was that they all possessed a third eye
Two of which Were exactly in the place
You'd...
#satirical
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#LifeChangingMoment
#surreal
33 reads
3 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
13th Mar 2024 3:13pm
13th Mar 2024 3:13pm
Cocooned In Silk
One wild and wintry winter
He ventured to the wood
Guided only by the eerie moonlight
As he reached the spot,where a monster once stood
He called out "Oh monster!"
"Come to me forthwith"
"I wish to make a deal with you"
"That one day you may'st forgive"
He waited upon a mossy bank
Surrounded by frozen leaves
And within a moment of minutes
A loud crunching could be perceived
As he beckoned it even closer
He began to perceive its size
As wide as a felled oak tree ...
He ventured to the wood
Guided only by the eerie moonlight
As he reached the spot,where a monster once stood
He called out "Oh monster!"
"Come to me forthwith"
"I wish to make a deal with you"
"That one day you may'st forgive"
He waited upon a mossy bank
Surrounded by frozen leaves
And within a moment of minutes
A loud crunching could be perceived
As he beckoned it even closer
He began to perceive its size
As wide as a felled oak tree ...
#men
#monsters
#surreal
#witches
#curse
56 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Mar 2024 1:11pm
8th Mar 2024 1:11pm
Olarf The Reindeer
Olarf hadn't quite made the grade
To qualify as one of Santas reindeer
He was ill disciplined, mischievous, and cheeky
But not to any extremes
His sense of fun
Was just a little over the top
Such as the time he put custard in Santas boots
Or the time he put a whoopie cushion
On Mis Christnas's chair
Even Santa was seen to let out a small yo ho
And even if he'd only done these things
Just a few times a year
It wouldn't be so bad
But it was nearly every day
That he was pranking
In fact, only yesterday
He took all...
To qualify as one of Santas reindeer
He was ill disciplined, mischievous, and cheeky
But not to any extremes
His sense of fun
Was just a little over the top
Such as the time he put custard in Santas boots
Or the time he put a whoopie cushion
On Mis Christnas's chair
Even Santa was seen to let out a small yo ho
And even if he'd only done these things
Just a few times a year
It wouldn't be so bad
But it was nearly every day
That he was pranking
In fact, only yesterday
He took all...
#satirical
#funny
#surreal
32 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Mar 2024 00:37am
7th Mar 2024 00:37am
The Avenging Ghost
"Why did you run me over?"
But you say nothing as You examine my broken body
Lying on the lonely road
The driver speaks to the passenger Who is still in the car
He laughs like a man possessed "It's alright" he shouts
"Another victim to add to my list!" He laughs again
As he returns to his car, and drives off
I'm barely alive I somehow manage to cross the road
Towards the woods To hide, just in case he comes back
But i knew i was dying
My last living thoughts Who would look after my children?
I left...
But you say nothing as You examine my broken body
Lying on the lonely road
The driver speaks to the passenger Who is still in the car
He laughs like a man possessed "It's alright" he shouts
"Another victim to add to my list!" He laughs again
As he returns to his car, and drives off
I'm barely alive I somehow manage to cross the road
Towards the woods To hide, just in case he comes back
But i knew i was dying
My last living thoughts Who would look after my children?
I left...
#murder
#ghosts
#revenge #surreal
#revenge #surreal
39 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Surreal Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
