deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Day Mommy Left
My parents got divorced and I lived with my mom
I adored her sweet and kind personality
when I was three
she slipped away from the playground
while I was stuck in the middle of the monkey-bars
the ground seemed so impossibly far away
I screamed at the child below
to go and get my mommy
but she never came
she'd left me alone
and went to the hospital where she was committed
'cos she was a schizophrenic
I'd hung on them monkey-bars
for what seemed like many hours
then finally dropped onto the hard ground
bruising my little arms and legs
Ran back to my home, shaken and hungry
mommy wasn't there
I'd been used to being left alone
and tried to make myself cinnamon toast
but I couldn't read all that well
and everything looked alike
I remember taking a big bite out of pepper
and spitting it out in disgust
jumped down from the counter
then went back outside to play
That night, I went back home to darkness
the electricity had been cut off
so I went to the bed me and mommy shared
and curled up into a ball
holding my teddy bear tight
For three days and three nights
I stayed on my own, until on the third night
the front door was thrown open
and bright lights were shone upon me
a three year old girl, pressed tight up against the wall
trembling
I remember they took me away from my home
and when I woke up, a nice woman, a social worker
let me pick out a stuffed animal
and told me I was going to a nice home
I was so afraid, and she was so nice
I begged her to take me back home with her
promised her I'd be a good girl
she told me that she couldn't
so, on shaking legs, I entered foster care
a good christian home
that had no patience for the foul mouth
I'd picked up from my older brothers
who'd been picked up from school
three days before
I remember the taste of the strawberry quick milk
mixed with the tang of soap
they used to wash my mouth out with
and having my nose rubbed in the bed I'd wet
like I was some sort of animal
needing to be house broke
Then most of all, I remember the day
when the social worker came
and told me I was going to live with my dad
I remember asking over and over
"are you sure it's him ..R J****?!"
terribly afraid that when I got there
it'd be some stranger
and I remember, oh! I remember the pure joy
when I saw my dad, bending on one knee
with his arms outstretched , smiling
and me, running into them
turned out, that dad had been searching for me
because when he asked my mom
she thought I was dead
so, he searched all the morgues
and still couldn't find me
but when he did
he held me in his arms
and never let go.
Thank you so much Eamon for editing this for me :)
I adored her sweet and kind personality
when I was three
she slipped away from the playground
while I was stuck in the middle of the monkey-bars
the ground seemed so impossibly far away
I screamed at the child below
to go and get my mommy
but she never came
she'd left me alone
and went to the hospital where she was committed
'cos she was a schizophrenic
I'd hung on them monkey-bars
for what seemed like many hours
then finally dropped onto the hard ground
bruising my little arms and legs
Ran back to my home, shaken and hungry
mommy wasn't there
I'd been used to being left alone
and tried to make myself cinnamon toast
but I couldn't read all that well
and everything looked alike
I remember taking a big bite out of pepper
and spitting it out in disgust
jumped down from the counter
then went back outside to play
That night, I went back home to darkness
the electricity had been cut off
so I went to the bed me and mommy shared
and curled up into a ball
holding my teddy bear tight
For three days and three nights
I stayed on my own, until on the third night
the front door was thrown open
and bright lights were shone upon me
a three year old girl, pressed tight up against the wall
trembling
I remember they took me away from my home
and when I woke up, a nice woman, a social worker
let me pick out a stuffed animal
and told me I was going to a nice home
I was so afraid, and she was so nice
I begged her to take me back home with her
promised her I'd be a good girl
she told me that she couldn't
so, on shaking legs, I entered foster care
a good christian home
that had no patience for the foul mouth
I'd picked up from my older brothers
who'd been picked up from school
three days before
I remember the taste of the strawberry quick milk
mixed with the tang of soap
they used to wash my mouth out with
and having my nose rubbed in the bed I'd wet
like I was some sort of animal
needing to be house broke
Then most of all, I remember the day
when the social worker came
and told me I was going to live with my dad
I remember asking over and over
"are you sure it's him ..R J****?!"
terribly afraid that when I got there
it'd be some stranger
and I remember, oh! I remember the pure joy
when I saw my dad, bending on one knee
with his arms outstretched , smiling
and me, running into them
turned out, that dad had been searching for me
because when he asked my mom
she thought I was dead
so, he searched all the morgues
and still couldn't find me
but when he did
he held me in his arms
and never let go.
Thank you so much Eamon for editing this for me :)
Published 24th Mar 2013
| Edited 14th Aug 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 1
comments 19
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The author encourages honest critique.
24th Mar 2013 9:02pm
Courage and austerity.....really developed and tough going.....awesome write.
24th Mar 2013 9:30pm
24th Mar 2013 11:26pm
ahh, Crims, this is all yours.only thing I done was move the words around a little.
truly heart chilling then warming stuff, good on you for sharing and for rising above it all to prosper.
shine on :)
truly heart chilling then warming stuff, good on you for sharing and for rising above it all to prosper.
shine on :)
25th Mar 2013 2:36am
You did so much to bring this poem to life Eamon..I thank you from my heart..hugs Crim
25th Mar 2013 1:35am
Such a sad write Crim with a wonderful ending. Profound and poignant so beautifully expressed. Heartfelt. :)
25th Mar 2013 2:37am
Anonymous
25th Mar 2013 8:55am
The swirling emotions seeking a base so revealing and true crim.
strider
strider
26th Mar 2013 10:11pm
25th Mar 2013 7:45pm
Between knowing you and reading the title, I was afraid to read on because I knew it would be a heartbreaker...and it was. This is one of the more powerful poems I've ever read. For some reason, it strikes me deep.
Christian
Christian
26th Mar 2013 10:12pm
Thank you Christian that means a lot to this heart coming from you..only sorry it made you sad sweet soul..peace Crim
26th Mar 2013 10:26pm
Written with raw emotion, but shaped into a sweetness that tugs inside.
Good work, Crim.
Good work, Crim.
26th Mar 2013 10:42pm
Anonymous
23rd Dec 2014 5:30pm
Bless your tender heart..welling up with a lump in my throat..this is so so sad, such terrible things for a child to endure..written with such dignity and the ending...so beautiful I cried and smiled..
I knew we were so connected my beautiful, brave and inspiring Sister x
I knew we were so connected my beautiful, brave and inspiring Sister x
23rd Dec 2014 5:34pm
lovely one thank you for understanding me.. nothing compared with the pain you've gone through tugging at my soul.. you are the beautiful one.. thank you for such a heartfelt comment making me smile today :) with love Brenda
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
7th Sep 2015 4:46am
<< post removed >>
7th Sep 2015 7:39pm
thank you beautiful one for the continued love you've shown me and great insight on this write.. you're right my mom wasn't at fault and did the best she could given the situation..
hugging you back with all my heart Brenda
hugging you back with all my heart Brenda
21st Oct 2016 5:54pm
I had to look this up in your library after reading it in the "Angelic protector" comp. This is so moving. The sadness is lessoned at the end but it cannot sooth the pain you endured. It brings much light to things I never knew about you. I wish I had wings to wrap you in...
JJ
JJ
22nd Oct 2016 11:50pm
thank you JJ for taking the time to dig through my library and find this poem it made me cry reading it after your comment realizing how much my dad is my guardian angel..
love Brenda
love Brenda
Anonymous
- Edited 7th May 2019 00:46am
31st Jan 2019 5:36pm
<< post removed >>
