Mr.Darkside Is My Boss

Practicing my I quit speech
over and over in my head....
I cant stand another minute
let alone another week working
for the prince of darkness
ok he might not be the actual
prince but I'm pretty sure
they are cousins
I could list all the
similarities, but that
would take a lifetime
and hes the only one
I know with several of those

my alarm goes off and I lay there
hating life and the fact
that we live in a monetary society
I pull the blanket over my face
to block out the sun
that is one of the side effects
of working for the devils cousin
you start hating everything
and announcing it to the world,
I get out of bed
and shower I have a long day of
lying and fucking people over
ahead of me..
Mr.Darkside said not to be late
today, so I will hurry
before the wrath of hell is awoken
and given orders to wipe out
the secretary

driving in my car as fast as
the law allows
I keep saying "I hate this fucking place"
over and over until I pull up
then I walk in and the shouting of
orders begins...I try to tune him out
but Mr.Darkside has one of those
voices, the kind that pierces
the ear drum and then makes its
way to the center of the brain
and it feels like lightening
hitting my cerebrum
I cringe and do what I'm supposed
to do and the best part
I do it well and better than most

Mr.Darkside likes screwing me over
I think he gets points in hell for it
or at least he should
my favorite time he got me
was the Friday after Christmas
he handed me my pay check I look at it
then I look at him he says "what?"
I'm all "you didn't pay me for Christmas?"
and this is the response I got
"you are Muslim why should
you get paid for Christmas?"
I'll admit I didn't think he would go there
but he did...I was totally shocked
and just left without saying anything
I just shook my head in disbelief
hopped into my car and hit the nearest bar
that is another effect of working for Mr.Darkside
I tend to hit up the bar a lot more

my boss likes to fuck with poor people
I hate that the most
he will have crackheads from the neighborhood
clean our lots and then only gives them
random change from his pocket,
no quarters only nickels
and dimes but mostly pennies
and then the best part he makes me go pay them
so they think I'm the asshole not him
and then karma is whispering "look bitch
you know better" and I'm like "what the fuck
do you want from me I have bills"
I just put my head down on the desk
and bang it a few times and scream on the inside
then its back to paperwork.....

he is rubbing off on me... I did the unthinkable
it was snowing and kinda raining
I don't know what came over me
my hand reached down and packed an ice ball
and I well my hand tossed it at my co-workers face
it hit dead center and it hit hard
needless to say Jay went home with a bloody nose
and a red face... I got a pat on the back from Mr.Darkside
he even bought me lunch that day....
I felt bad and I still do..well...kinda
so who is worse Mr.Darkside for being his evil self
or the chick who knows better but does it anyways
all in the name of having bills....