The last time

This is the last time I come home coked up and angry and fall asleep in the garden. This is the last time I spend £50 on a night out. This is the last time I buy cigarettes. This is the last time I break things on my walk home just because I can. This is the last time I hug & shake hands with a stranger because he has sold me drugs. This is the last time I buy shots. This is the last time I watch the chef throw up because he is drunk. This is the last time I keep my parents awake all night because they are worried about me. This is the last time I start a fight with a stranger. This is the last time I get myself banned from a pub. This is the last time I insult a stranger because I am bored. This is the last time I start drinking at 10 in the morning and finish late past midnight. This is the last time alcohol makes me throw up and gives me the shits. this is the last time I climb a monument, statue or giant chicken because I am drunk. This is the last time I bruise my knuckles punching the wall. This is the last time I drink buckfast, frosty jacks or Tescos own brand vodka. This is the last time I use chewing gum & fresh air to keep from being sick. This is the last time I dent a colander, ashtray or bin because they looked at me weirdly. This is the last time I drive just a little bit under the influence the next morning. This is the last time I have to listen to Bon Iver to calm myself down. This is the last time I cry because I am missing you. This is the last time I cure my hangover with tea and fried food. This is the last time I am abusive, aggressive and annoying because I am drunk. This is the last time I have to apologize in the morning for being a twat. This is the last time I have to buy you sweets to make up for making you cry. This is the last time I run away from the scene of the crime. This is the last time I have to buy a replacement because I have destroyed the original. This is the last time I have to try and hide the fact that I stink of vomit from you. This is the last time I have to endure judgement from strangers because of my behavior. This is the last time I have to worry about being arrested. This is the last time I have to see that disappointed look in your eyes. This is the last time I do not fulfill my obligations as a son, a student or as a human being because I am drunk & high. This is the last time I make special brownies. This is the last time I be called a lad for my antics. This is the last time I will be rude to barmen, bouncers or staff. This is the last time I will be rude to my friends. This is the last time I will be rude to you. This is the last time I will be fucked up, drugged up or half asleep in lectures. This is the last time I will wake and bake. This is the last time I will encourage others to drink or take drugs. This is the last time I will have just one last drink. This is the last time I will let myself win. This is the last time I will lose my bathmat because I am drying it after throwing up on it. This is the last time I will have to climb a roof to get my shoes back. This is the last time I will get someone to flash me by calling them a wanker. This is the last time I will burn, cut or pull your hair. This is the last time I will go home early because I am fucked. This is the last time the room will spin when I do eventually awake. This is the last time I will spend a day in bed. This is the last time I will have to wash my clothes because they are soiled with regret. This is the last time you will have to kiss the ashtray that is my mouth. This is the last time I will not brush my teeth or wear my retainer before I sleep. This is the last time you will hear me wretch as I cough up bile in the morning. This is the last time I will break a glass because I am done with it. This is the last time I will spit at a friend because I am too far gone to know better. This is the last time I will bite you on the shoulder and be asked to leave an establishment. This is the last time I will call someone a cunt because they are foreign. This is the last time we will have to go to a&e because I am bleeding again. This is the last time I will lie about being drunk again. This is the last time I will lie down on the street, in a bush or on the grass because I am tired. This is the last time I will finally feel better at 8pm. This is the last time I will share a pipe with the unwashed and the insane. This is the last time I will use my nostrils to snort. This is the last time i will pull my curtains because the sun is rising. This is the last time I will piss in the street. This is the last time I will ask a policeman to repeat himself. This is the last time I will try to drown my problems, and this is the last time I make this promise to you.