Ugly

 Ugly on the outside, and Ugly looking in,

Need something to show me if there's Beauty in this skin.

I try so hard to see it but Ugliness prevails,

And seeing my reflection just reminds me that I've failed.

I've hid myself from everything and everyone around,

Hid inside myself to hide the Ugliness I've found.

Nothing here I've seen or felt inside of me

Can show me that Beauty, not Beast, is what I see.

Such twisted, grotesque images plague much needed sleep,

And what I do inside of them has been my plague to keep.

That isn't who I am, the monster in my Dreams,

But time and time again I find myself a fiend.

I long that rush one feels when squeezing Life to Death,

When watching some poor soul choke violently on their last breath.

It troubles me that I desire hurting people so,

And how I have refrained this long, my friends, I do not know.

So many times a day I find myself resisting it,

The urge to find someone to kill, to see how far I get.

Ugly on the outside, and Ugly looking in,

What the fuck am I to do?! I feel I can not win.

I'm constantly at war inside, fighting off the itch,

Trying not to scratch it, compromising with a twitch.

Who the fuck am I?! I dont know me anymore,

I search to find reflections, but I dont know what for.

I know exactly what it is that I will see,

Cause that mirror doesnt reflect dreams, it just reflects me.

A monster hidden from your sight behind these lying eyes,

A troubled soul trying so hard to stay inside the light.

Dont trust me, cause I cant be trusted, now or anytime,

Who knows when I'll decide that its no fun to kill inside my mind.

Who knows when I will just give in and satisfy the itch,

And leave your lifeless body to be found inside a ditch.

Ugly on the outside, and Ugly looking in,

Cant help but think I'm better off with tracks across my skin.

Someone just kill me, put a bullet in my fucking head,

Before its you, not me, they find floating down the river dead.

Cause one day you'll find yourself asking "How fucked up can you be?"

And chances are that what you're looking at will have been done by me.

So kill me now and save this world from gazing into a beast,

Cause I dont know how long I can refrain, It fights me constantly.

But I know once it's out, it wont move without a trace.

Greusome scenes of death and violence will leave you to your faith.

So pray your God is listening when you beg him to appease,

Cause once out this thing inside me wont listen to your plea.

Ugly on the outside, and Ugly looking in.

Wont somebody kill me?! I cant let it fucking win.