the fall

Sumeet

read this one before(in fb).
cannot offer any constructive feedback here, but sure would say, after all the intense imageries , the simple-worded S10 S11 S12 caught my attention!

noone
wants
to win
and
i
cant
wont
let go

never

sigh

.

these are winner lines fr me.

shine on:)

uma.

uma

thank you for stopping by and leaving
your thoughts. yes, it was a status
message a while back. ha. your favourite
lines were the crux of this.

you have chosen well.:]

power,

sumeet

Aaaah yes sire
what a pleasure
to note your return
and then
 
that beautiful pen
 
That opening stanza 1
very tangible and a lovely image
which moves to the seductive
quality which is rich
in texture.
lovely.
 
enjoyed the end that battle
between lovers  
of that goodbye
like teenagers
"you put down"
"no...you put down"
"no...you'
 
well done
enjoyed
 
smiles at you.
 
Al-x-

p.s the open space on the page makes it a clinical
and sexy write that really evokes
foreplay between the eyes.

al

my brother.:]

thank you for everything you had to say.
this, i owe it to you. honest. you had shown
me the art of shaving. ha.

yes, the battle. glad you enjoyed.

much love,

sumeet

your word choice and syntax
really make this a beautiful
piece.
nice job
long days and plesant nights,
       twistedgirl

santina

welcome to this part of the world.:]

thank you for stopping by and leaving
the wonderful feedback.

power,

sumeet

noone
wants
"to win
and
i
cant
wont
let go

never

sigh"


Yes, sigh. . .beautiful:)

devlin

ah! such joy to see you 'round.:]
glad you stopped by this and left
your imprints. love the sigh.

cherubs and stars,

sumeet

bronx

thank you for stopping by.
hope to see you 'round.

power,

sumeet

this:

flick my tongue
taste her delirium
unite with godhead
begin the primal dance
feel the low rustle
of crackling nerves
in my spine


And this:

afterwards
wrestle her down gently
always gently
she wrestles back
its the most delicious  
heartbreaking
beautiful
kind of
fighting

Remind me of a ritual, almost ceremonial, but not in a religious way. What i mean is that it brings out the sense that it was done too many a times in order to count upon its happening just like it was the first time. There's nothing wrong with that because it's executed with such a solemn and mystical atmosphere in the background.

ophie

ah! yes.:]

now you are a dear for burrowing
that far and describing your experience.

thank you.

x

sumeet

This is like breath, a slow inhale and exhale ending with a beautiful sigh.
How you make words come alive, Sweet Sumeet.

star

ah.:] such joy to have you here.

you have said it beautifully. the high,
i would say. thank you.

much love

sumeet