Why

Why
Can't you ever compliment me
Without comparing me to someone else?
There's always someone who can do things better
I know this already
But why can't I ever be good at anything?
I'm not talking about on a world scale
Or whether I succeed or fail
I'm talking about how I appear in your view
I just wanna be recognized in your eyes
Seen as someone who is good enough
Not just someone who is full of flaws
I have abilities that she doesn't have
I know more than him you said that
'But there are people smarter and better than you'
Yeah I know that and I accept it
It makes no sense to reject it
When each person is unique from the next, and there's no such thing as perfection
All I'm saying is I want to be
Better than alright in your eyes
Even just one time
Is that too much to ask?
Because it feels like it is
Which is why I keep it to myself

It feels like you're afraid to give me your approval
Because you don't want it to make me feel good
Maybe that's because it will make you feel good too
Perhaps you don't want to reinforce our connection
And bring us closer together, it would make sense
You want to keep your distance I guess
I hate that
I really do
Because I'm never afraid
To compliment you
When it's true I will tell it
No holding back
You don't either, until after the fact
Whenever those feelings come flowing out straight
You try to downplay every nice thing that you say
Quickly moving it to a meaningless state
And it's just not fair, it hurts me
It's like you don't want to admit that I have strengths
And I wonder if that's because it makes you feel weak
Because you're always trying to compete
You just barely let raw emotion slip from your tongue
And I express appreciation when it does
But at 'thank you' is when you withdraw to compare me again
Don't you get it? I don't want to be the best
I never will be, I'm not perfect
All I'm asking is why I can't ever be  special in your eyes
You see me as such, I know when you reveal it
But you just won't let yourself look at me
Why?

Are you afraid of what you might see if you look deeper?
Do you not want to be intrigued by any qualities I might have?
Or do you just want to keep me from never feeling important in any way
When you look outside yourself you seek me out to help open your eyes
And when I succeed is when you try to bring me down I realize
And I just can't figure out why
Lately I've been thinking I should try the no emotion tactic
And act unappreciative whenever my heart has been impacted
Just to see if your statements still get retracted
I'm curious to see what happens
But I don't want to have to play games

So please, tell me
Make it clear so that way I never have to ask again
And I can stop wondering, make all this pain end

Because it hurts
           And I don't think you want to hurt me
Or... Do you?